Well, it's been 1 year and 4 months that my divorce was final. There is life after divorce. You will survive!
I know it's hard. Here I am...51 years old, and divorced. I never thought in a million years I would be single at 51 years old.
Since the separation and divorce, I've surrounded myself with positive people and positive energy. I've read everything from The Secret to practicing EFT. Prayer also helps...a lot!
I don't have kids so my situation wasn't as bad as others. I didn't have to see him every other week. We don't communicate that often. He'll forward me an e-mail from time to time even though I've told him that he doesn't need to.
- Do I still love him? Maybe - Do I still miss him? Sometimes - Do I want to move on? Absolutely - Do I wish things would have worked out? Of course
I guess what I'm trying to get at is even though I was against the divorce, I got divorced. You cannot make a person be with you if they no longer want to be with you. I know it hurts, but sometimes, it's best just to let go. A year ago, I would have taken my WAS back in a heartbeat. Today, I'm not so sure. A lot has changed. I've changed a lot. I've been forced to do things on my own, so I'm a lot more confident in my day-to-day existence.
One of my friends, got divorced after 20 years of marriage. Her husband left her for someone else. They have 3 kids. She recently graduated from college with honors. She's been my inspiration. If she can pick herself up and move on, so can I.
Divorce is not the end of the world. I know it feels like it. You have to decide if you want to wallow in self-pity or get on with life. If there is a chance to save your marriage, then go for it. I tried everything, but it didn't do much good. My spouse was determined to end the marriage. If you're in that situation, get on with life. There is a lot of living to do. You don't have to shut the door on your spouse. Just don't tell him or her that you still have the door open. My door is starting to close. Don't wait around to see if your spouse comes back. GET ON WITH LIFE, and if the door should start shutting, well, at least, you haven't been missing on life.
I know holidays are coming up, and that's always a yucky time when you're going through a divorce. Make plans now to be with family and friends. Make back-up plans if you have to. Close friends who were aware of my situation, invited me over for the holidays. Fortunately, I was able to spend them with family. Volunteer during the holidays. Sometimes, that's the best therapy. I volunteered to serve Thanksgiving meals last year. I met other people, and I actually had a good time. I may do it again this year.
I hope I've inspired at least one person to move on. Take time out for yourself. Rediscover yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Love to all, alamogirl
Me - 48 (at time of 1st bomb) H - 43 married - 16 Jul 94 no children 1st bomb - (said he was leaving) - 3 Jun 06 2nd bomb (said he was ready to file) - 10 Nov 06 H filed divorce - 17 Nov 06 Divorce finalized - 20 Jul 07
Congratulations on everything you have accomplished alamogirl. You are definitely an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your story. I know it's hard being the LBS, but when I see a story like your's it gives me hope that I can do this.
Me- 29 X - 30 M - 7.5 years Final April 2009 S - 2005 D - 2007
Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option.
A wise fish once said...Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming!
