as usual, a recap for those who haven't heard(read) my sitch:
june '08 - wife wants to separate, affair with OM, I move out
july - OM sleeping over, wife wants divorce
august - OM leaves wife for his old girlfriend, still sleeps with wife, wife files for D at the end of the month.
september - wife finds out she is pregnant by OM, wife still wants divorce
october - wife *suddenly* realizes she was selfish, should have tried to make our M work, *might* want to get back together; we start spending time together again. we sleep in our bed together, hold hands, just spend time trying to start anew.
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
side notes: since finding out about pregnancy, OM wants nothing to do with wife, wants her to abort, no contact between OM and wife for 3 weeks (so far)
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
Other side notes.....we have a 2 year old together, my wife says she is not in love with me, she didn't come back YET (her words)
Of course I am in love with her and want to work things out. It was only after she realized she lost her chance with me that she attempted to reconcile.
I would like her to 'come back' and commit to our marriage. Is there anything I can do to help ? Other than be patient and give space, stay detached and let things go ?
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
Hi BC, tough situation and I give you credit for your dedication and support to her. First what about the baby? will you raise it? Are either of you going to C? Do you think that she will abide with a NC with OM which might be difficult since she is carrying his baby? Patience is a key but keep DBing, say semi-detached.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
BC, what does this mean: It was only after she realized she lost her chance with me that she attempted to reconcile. I mean I understand the words, but what makes you say that she "realized that she lost her chance with you" and what led to that realization?
She obviously has not lost her chance with you, if you still want her back.
I basically put my foot down and told her not to talk to me again, and that the offer to come back and reconcile was over; I also told her to do mankind a favor and not date for awhile, because no other guys deserve to have their lives screwed up.
after I said this, she changed her mind pretty quick.
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
wow! pretty strong words. and even then you are willing to take her back.
Let me just say, about the baby: that baby is no sin. The baby is a treasure, and I hope the adults can look at the child in that light. My Father in law reared a child that was not his own, like this, and he and the boy, who is now a fine married man, get along great.
But my gut is telling me she's gonna run you through the ringer again, just as soon as you two are trying to be happy again. I really think you should just move on and stick to moving on.
I'm sorry to say this. Its only because I have known and seen immature women like your wife wreck havoc on households more than once...the similarites are eerie....and they really never grow up.
