"It was very, very strange. I mean, I was crying about it again last night. Just last night. About how I missed him, how much he had loved me, the way it felt when he held me, all the things he did for me and said to/about me, was always there for me. My brain flipped-flopped. There was just nothing. Not sure what brought me so around."
Last night was an old tantrum about old hurts playing itself out again on auto-pilot.
Today you are back to your real self
Good plan to discuss the living arrangements with the kids' C.
And no, I don't feel that you've been trying to enmesh with me, lol. You are getting very strong and very independent!
I told my MC about Oldtimer in one of my individual sessions.. she's also a huge fan. Thanks for helping us and not even charging $125 an hour OT!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I love how you put that you wanted to "shrink your world back down to just you and the kids" to help you feel better. Do this. Fill the calendar, be alive and fun with your kids. They will feed off this and feel better too. When X has them, fill your social calendar BUT NOT WITH DATES!!!
Also, when I say 'shrink' your world down, I don't mean keep X from the kids at all. If your son is asking for more time with Dad, I think that should be worked out for sure. Not saying the 1 week on, 1 week off things, but maybe some alone time for him and Dad.
Donna, you are back. You stumbled and picked yourself up. Now, go enjoy the rest of September!
Had a great session with IC today, and things are really starting to make so much more sense. She agreed that the letter was a good idea and asked me to bring it with me next week.
Afterwards, I took myself to dinner at Bertucci's and had the best rolls and salmon. The waitress was so great, I wrote up a quick compliment on the back of my extra receipt and put it in the billfold along with the credit slip. When the manager came over to ask how everything was, I told him he could read about it. Gave her a nice tip, too.
The whole time, I was writing down everything about the restaurant--the smells, sounds, tastes, etc. I wanted to remember how I was feeling. I'll post it later after I finish writing it. And, to my friends here, you all have a staring role! Thank you...
Got my babies home. A$$ didn't let D finish her homework, so we did that. They were all out looking at houses again, and put an offer down on one, across the street from the Boy Scout leader for my son's troop. Wonder if I should warn them both now about the "tendencies" these two have...
S13 said his dad kept asking him if he had a problem with any of it, and he told me that he said No, because he didn't want to talk about it. I said, well, that is fine if that is how you feel. But if you feel some other way, I don't want you to lie about it. Just be truthful, and know that I am always here if you are uncomfortable with anything or anyone, or you can always talk to your dad, or call your IC - that is why we thought it was so important for you to have someone outside of your family to talk to who was safe. He said ok.
So, I am off to bed early. Hope everyone has a great night...
(I saw a fox, a deer and an opossum on the way home from AlAnon last night. Now, I am a big animal person, and I almost missed being grateful for that gift. Wonder if someone was trying to remind me of something...)
