Well, yesterday afternoon I got caught posting here by my W. Instead of making up a lie I decided to tell the truth about the site.....basically telling her that this site gave me a lot of comfort, in a lot of respects I credit it for helping me find me again. I also expressed how being able to give back felt good and that I was glad that I was able to make a little bit of a difference in a lot of peoples lives.
The fact that it was kept from her was very upsetting to her, and I can appreciate why......secrets have been an issue for us in the past. In many respects this has been a step back for us. It is something I have struggled with as I felt torn between being open about this site and not wanting my real changes to appear disingenuine (i.e. following the guidance here and in the book). I can't say what would be the best approach for anyone one else, but it is clear what was not the best approach for my situation.
I respect my W's feelings and am opting to stop posting. I am truly sorry for hurting her in this way. This may change one day but for now, it is the way it needs to be.
I want to thank this site and the wonderful caring people on it for helping me grow as a person and helping me to restore my self esteem.
I am truly sorry at having to abandon some of the people I have met here, but it has been nice to see many of you improve your situation quite dramitically in such a short time period. I hope you continue to make improvements both in yourself and in your M.
I don't know what my future holds for me or my family, but I continue to have hopes and dreams. I feel I have become a stronger person and now need to stand and face these challenges as they come before me.
Take Care and Best Wishes
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
TD, As you will probably not have a chance to read this, there seems little point in posting to you, but I really wanted to say a huge thankyou for all that you have done so selflessly for the people on this board. It is only recently that you hopped aboard my journey, but even in that short space of time, you have given me enormous support and sound compassionate and intelligent advice.
I am very sad that you find yourself in another tricky situation, and it sounds like you explained yourself to her with honesty, and the integrity that you have displayed so many times in your posts here.
I am sure that your W will come to see that your presence here was only for the good of your M and R, but I very much appreciate your need to withdraw out of respect for your wife's wishes.
You are a giant of a man, and you will be sorely missed here.
Thankyou again for all that you have done for me, and all the people who you have shared with here.
God bless.
me: 45 w: 43 Married 19yrs Separated 6 months 2 children Bomb April2008 OM/EA May 2008. Not filed yet.
OH TD I'm sorry that she is upset but I understand where she is coming from You have been given a great chance to have a new M and so go in peace because not only have you been helped but you have helped.
If you ever decide to get on FB look me and all of us up.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Too bad your W doesn't understand how much you helped people here, and that you were here to save your M. You've definitely paid it forward, though. We'll miss you!
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
TD God Bless you and your family! Thank you for your contributions and I hope you have a wonderful marriage!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I just wanted to say thank you so much for all your help, you have been a rock to me and I truly feel that I would not be where I am today without your guidence.
I understand where your wife is coming from and think you are doing the right thing. I want to wish you all my good wishes for the future. Know that you did a great DBing job! And once again
Twindad...my friend...thank you for all the positive, insightful comments you've given me this past couple of months. you always found the good, no matter the sitch. I will always be grateful for your kind hearted words of encouragement. Stay strong, my friend, and i look forward to hearing from you one time again in the future
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
TD, you've been a huge help around here, and we'll miss you!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
I couldn't post on your board yesterday because I wanted to think about what I wanted to say. There really are no words to describe what you've done for me and my outlook on life. You've helped change me -- I hope you go forward knowing this and also knowing that I am one of your pupils who will one day be able to pay it forward on a continual basis and in an unconditional way like you did.
Someone already said it, so I'm not unique in letting you know that you were my *rock*! You are a man of honor and integrity, and I can only hope that I will be able to soon following in your footsteps of kindness and hope.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again, and maybe one day you will read it.
