It's time to move out & over here, although it's like Love Languages, sometimes more than one fits & the MLC Forum would have been a good fit also.
I left off on in a dip on the rollercoster;
Well, I'm not so sure how different it was......H came by to pick up S5 for dinner tonight wearing the same clothes as he left in yesterday (OW lives near here & he had been with us for most of the 4th weekend.) Wanted to know if my nephew & S16 wanted to go with them.
I've been in the "well done" catagory all day. Why doesn't he leave the others in my family besides S5 alone.
So, I'm at the end I suppose, as I asked him to respect my boundaries in just including our S & not others. I also said I was done....over having it in my face.
Whatever you choose is right when it comes to posting, and most things in life. Making a decision is about moving forward. With the momentum it's easier to adjust to your changing needs.
When you mentioned he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, I imagined him all disheveled.. like Bill Murray in "Caddy Shack".. in fact that's how I 'see' him... going for the gopher.
Man.. the guy has to learn another ending line.
What do you want, Ms. Sun. Forget what the spouse is doing, the offer. What do you want, deep in your heart? No need to post it.. but think.
Welcome over , I had been thinking of moving across to MLC as it seems to fit the situation ,where an S is still involved or trying to be involved in your life. Interesting that your H seems to be in a similar place to my W . They want to have this new life but cant seem to quite let go of the old one and still want some control and influence over what they have left behind. You are now resisting that control and his bullying ( the "offer" ) , you are taking control of your life and that is so important right now. It will be a bit bumpy for a while but very important if you and H do get to building a fresh R.
And Gypsy makes a very important point.
Quote:
What do you want, Ms. Sun. Forget what the spouse is doing, the offer. What do you want, deep in your heart? No need to post it.. but think.
The answer may not be that clear , nor may it be what you think it should be.
you are taking control of your life and that is so important right now. It will be a bit bumpy for a while but very important if you and H do get to building a fresh R.
I haven't had much contact w/H since I've been just laying low, although he has been trying to bait me with E-mail that needs a response & it got a little bumpy trying to keep from engaging him.
I had all S-5's overnight thing's ready at the door yesterday so he wouldn't have to come in. What a sad/scared looking H he was, & what a calm, happy W I was (& dressed pretty fine too);
Dragged both hands over his face & said; H-"How are you?" H-"Uh, are you staying here or going out tonight?" W-"Yes."
He stood there, looking like he had something to say, but no surprise, said nothing.
He walked off w/out a word until he was out the gate & then I got a terse "See you tomorrow."
Scary it is Kalni, It was better to get nothing though, than "I don't know, I just don't know."
Forgot to add that H showed up at the house early on Weds, when he knew I'd be @ S's Jiu Jitsu & was sitting at my computer when I came in.
"Sorry, I had to get on your computer to "put out some fires." (S5 wanted to see the fires that he was putting out :))
I had a feeling he might do that & erased the history before leaving. Checked the history after he left & found "My computer". Looks like he may have re-checked 3rd party access, so I un-checked it.
He hung around up-stairs on his own while I was getting S showered up. I got a call from my mother after he left asking me why I called, & when she returned it I didn't answer. Oops, I guess he must have pushed "send" twice accidentally & the call went thru. No wonder he looked so nervous when he left.
