Plodding towards my Path With Heart

[pat44]

Hey SD:

Did you just have a birthday? The number in your post footer is a year higher...

take care,
AG

[PhD_ChrisD]

Hi SD,

I somewhat guessed that you might see an improvement in her attitude. That eBook "Women's Infidelity" predicts that behavior as the LBS finally moves toward the big D. It explains this as forcing her out of limbo: which you have been in for quite some time. If you haven't read that book, you should. It is quite the eye opener.

I am glad you seem so positive and upbeat. Your PMA is an example for us all. Take care and stay positive!

--Chris

[SuperDad]

Hi AG and Chris,

AG, my b'day was back in Aug...I was just a bit remiss in updating my profile.

Chris, I haven't read that book, but probably should before I get involved in another serious relationship. Hopefully to avoid ending back up here again!

W has been in TX for the week, so life has been peaceful, if even busier than normal! I took the kids to the beach this weekend. It was nice, but we got rained out today. Turns out this wasn't all bad because I'm all caught up on my chores for the week now!

I STILL haven't gotten the final paperwork back from the L for review yet. Have to email them again tomorrow with a WTF?! I only asked for 2 minor changes and even emailed suggested wording to them in the docs...should have been 15 min. worth of work, not 2 weeks. Oh well, it sort of makes me look like the good guy since W asked me not to file til she got back from her trip!

Take care, SD

[cliffy]

SD,
I am coaching again this season, two weeks until practice starts. This should be an interesting year, lots of talent returning. They asked me to head coach the women's program this year, so it should be interesting.
How did your summer of triathalons go?
W started to come back and be super supportive as my dad suffered a stroke and passed on. It was a very sudden thing, healthy one day and dead the next. We had a solid couple months, she has drifted away a few times since, but we are moving in a generally positive direction.

[SuperDad]

Cliffy,
Sorry to hear about your dad. I guess that just puts everything else into perspective.

Glad things are going better in your sitch. You are a very patient man!

My tri's went mostly well this summer, got 3rd in the last sprint I did, but bonked hard in the international dist. last month. Gotta focus more on my pre and during race nutritian!

The last race of the season is in 4 weeks and I feel pretty good for this one. My swimming is definitely stronger than it has been in decades, but getting off that bike and starting to run is always tough!

Take care of yourself Cliffy!

SD

[SuperDad]

Journaling:

I got the paperwork back from the L. Just need to update the financial affidavit for the recent market crash and go in on Mon. to sign the docs.

I feel like I am about to take off on another rollercoaster, except this time, I am the one starting it off! It's scary not knowing how this will turn out, but also exciting to be starting another phase of my life.

I feel so much more self-aware as well as aware of the traps that are out there in relationships (not just romantic ones!), in no small part to reading the posts on this site and DR.

I know that every relationship can stumble, but I feel optimistic now that I will find a new relationship that is healthier than the one that W and I had. What a change from the many long months after the bomb!

Take care, SD

[LL44]

I feel like I am about to take off on another rollercoaster, except this time, I am the one starting it off! It's scary not knowing how this will turn out, but also exciting to be starting another phase of my life.

This is how I feel too!!

I never ever want to relive the post bomb months. What a dark and lonely place. I agree with you, every relationship will have problems and issues. Its being open and honest enough to learn to live with the other one's issues.

When you sign the docs on Monday, are you divorced, or is that the settlement statement? Are you still living with your W?

[FLTC]

SD,

it's really great to have the physical activity stuff at this time in our lives especially. It's always been big with me, but even more so now. If I miss a day at the gym, I start to feel like a Labrador Retreiver who is kept on a rope for days at a time.

Thanks for taking some time to put my latest maliase in persepctive for me. I really beat myself up, but there's plenty of blame for eveyone.

How do you feel about initiating the divorce. Are you still OK with that? What's her reaction to it?

[SuperDad]

Hi lwb and FLTC!
lwb, it was just for the filing...I gave her the docs finally today after a few corrections, etc. Of course, they forgot to tell me that they needed to be notarized, so I just had to leave them with her...asked her to go by L office and get notarized signature, which she did not do...I guess she wants to make this difficult as well.

I guess on mon. I will arrange to have her served...not what I wanted, but what can you do!

FL,
With you 100%, I feel better every day, like the clock is ticking backwards or something. This week we started doing more speed work on the track and in the pool, leading into the big race next month. It's amazing that after 2 hours of working out, I am totally full of energy...definitely need to find a high energy gal, otherwise, I will drive her nuts!

As far as intitiating the big D, I never thought I would do it, but I am now at peace with it, knowing I did everything that I could to try to save the M. It just was not meant to be.

Her reaction is a combination of silence, anger, and threats. Std. MLC stuff. I think she is hoping that I won't want to be the bad guy and therefore won't follow through with it if she makes it hard for me...just shows you that you can be with someone for decades and not know them at all!

Got a great weekend ahead, so I gotta get some sleep!

Take care, SD

[SuperDad]

Uggghhh!

Well, W refused to sign the acknowledgement form and instead gave all the paperwork to her L. I guess she just hired the L. W did not even want to give me the L's name, but obviously read all of the paperwork.

We discussed it for a few minutes today and she totally does not understand anything about the process...somehow thinks that I am trying to kick her out of the house by some specific date by what is in the draft settlement agreement. She again accused me of not caring about the kids etc. etc., her voice dripping with sarcasm and hate.

Any advice here? I am thinking to go see my IC again for the first time in 10 months, just to try to get some perspective on the whole sitch and how I might move things forward in the most peaceful manner possible.

Again...Uggghhhhh!

Well, I feel a bit better now!

SD