When I listened to pros and cons a method various branches rate their junior members the question arises when we give a junior servicemember an unsolveable problem.
Is there solution finding or is there drama. It's cut and dried.
OFFTHETRACKMUSINGS On the beach I have the good fortune of observing a wide swath of customer. I've noticed in general with exceptions that the more affluent tend to rely on intellect and the less affluent rely on drama and concentrate on the feel good. There are exceptions but I see it every day.
Drama is the spice and it drives people to new heights but it is not the meat. Meat without the spice is dull and flat, too much spice and one cannot enjoy or digest the meat. DONEOFFTHETRACKMUSINGS
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
yeah, what's with that? and if they do chat why can't they stick to the game. Sometimes one does wonder if there is a guy out there that can just stick to the task at hand
What is the task at hand? I'm thick and empty between the ears so please inform me of this game. I love games when it is taken with all the seriousness of go fish or UNO. Thanks
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
Oh, I think we were talking about cribbage online. You can tell the people that are there to play from the ones who just want to chat. I get chatty sometimes too, (obviously) but I stick to the weather or sports, stay away from the personal stuff.
I guess it's not that big of a deal, but it just seems weird. "Where are you from? How's your sex life?"
I guess I can understand it, the flirtation, when you're sitting across the table from me, but to that online thing, I could be 300 lbs and a bald man for all you know. ha ha...guess the same goes for this place, huh?
I think for me, it's an intangible thing. Maybe more the way I feel about myself when I'm around him than anything else. I knew a man that just made me feel...I don't know...safe, secure, desired, heard, seen. These guys that are only in it for themselves, how it looks to their friends to have the right girl on their arm, that gets old after a while.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Confidence It is the one common thread many allude throughout this BB and countless other places. So Question #1. Why is that? Why are confident people attractive?
I came back from Iraq at 49 in terrific shape, fresh from facing down incredible dangers, faced the question almost all American men do 'If in combat would I run?' and answered it. Yet I felt like only hiding. Why?
Because like others on this board the base which we based much of our confidence was ripped from under us.
I have never had to face an angry enemy determined to kill me, but I have rushed to face danger while others were running away. I use to carry a picture in my helmet (but I am sure I am not the first) of the ones I cared most about. The ones Melanie pointed out, that gave me the intangibles I felt from them. The confidence, security, safety, desired.
It IS how another makes us feel that we find attractive. And in those feelings we strengthen our confidence. The confidence in ourselves and our relationship. The confidence and desire to change and grow. To take on projects over our head and the drive and determination to get them done.
But relationships and attraction are dynamic-ever changing. Sometimes we are the ones “taking”. The one who benefits from how another makes us feel while not giving enough back. While other times we will be the one “giving” that strength and confidence and security and maybe not getting back. If this were not the case would any of us be here?
What do I find attractive? Faith and trust in me.
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
Jak When one comes home it is as the US is the foreign nation and home is overseas. Everyone has gone on with their lives and you are still in a year ago mode.
A dirty little secret is much of the service personnel over their for their third tour volunteered. That is why we call it the suck. Recruting is not a problem and reenlistment is at an all time high. I just reupped for 6 more.
One can do so much with confidence in theirself but sooner or later one needs an affirmation. Not so much as a praise junkie but it helps when one can perform something well and feel good about it. However when your mind is of one culture and mindset and the US is totally another it is a constant battle between the ears. This is one reason Vets have very high rates of homelessness.
You may run into burning buildings and that is admirable but you always have the choice to say nope not me. Not an easy choice with regrets but over here one always has a choice and can vote with their feet. Once deployed one has to be as brave as their Commanding Officer tells them to be reguardless if it is above their level of confidence or not. Sooner or later with that intensity you are hardwired to this mindset and that mindset does not bode well in the burbs. This is common among all wars since the beginning of time.
Add the reception of what many of our Servicemen and women receive from their spouses returning home and you have a double whammy on the ole confidence factor.
This is not a troll for sympathy or saying the military must do more (what can you do?) that is a waste of time this is simply an attempt to explain a difficult set of circumstances. Prior to a deployment many servicemen and women are idealistic about mother, apple pie, and marriage and when they see what actually happens overseas and why then come back to a STBX it can rock their faith in many things including theirselves.
Sayings are good but executing those sayings against the headwinds is a challenging task indeed.
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
