I hate to hear of the pain/anger that has developed as the result of the lying that she did under oath. Of course you know that if there is going to be a trial that it will all be revealed then and her little 'make believe world' will crumble to pieces. Her mind is really sick. She needs help very desperately and I will pray that she will receive help.
I will keep praying for your family. All the best to you & Grace from the powerful loving hands of God.
I am sorry to hear you are feeling down right now RTL. Hearing your W tell lies in front of others would make anyone angry. It will get better with time. I like to hear the confidence in your L. Hopefully he will convince your W's L that it is best to settle before a trial.
So, you W's lawyer hadn't explained what a community property state means! That's amusing, anyway!
I think she just gave you a lot of ammo, not that you really want to use it. But, with all the evidence you have to counter her claims, she is going to look bad, if it comes to it. Keep plodding, what else can you do!
NMD, bizarre, tomato, Kerry and Jeff -- Thanks for your support.
NMD - I'm planning on looking at this as a business decision w/ the finances. If W had taken another course, I may have considered just letting hers be hers and mine be mine, but now since she's drug this out, I've got a lot of bills to pay, so I'm not giving away any money. Thanks for the story and advice and I hope you'll come back by again.
bizarre - I know you said it would be tough, but I just didn't think she'd be that blatant w/ me in the room. I mean, the drugging and raping story -- come on! When did she dream this one up? It hurt, but I was more angry than injured to hear it.
Tomato - it is sad. Very, very sad. Where has the woman I fell in love w/ gone? Off the deep end, it seems. There may be no going back for either of us, but at least I'll always be able to hold my head high and say I tried. I'll even look to print out my posts here as proof for my D that I tried to save my M. I'm just not sure now if it is savable or not. Only time will tell the answer to that question.
Kerry - it was upsetting and I too am glad my L is confident. I would hope that we can get things to settle prior to a trial b/c from here on out, I'm paying $350 and hour for this D. I'd like to stop the payments and get things squared away soon. Thanks for being there, my man!
Jeff - your ladies from across the Atlantic are asleep, so I'm glad you checked in w/ me. I too thought it was funny that W had no idea her investments and retirements would be divided. I guess that is what you get when you hire a cut-rate, $250/hour L these days. It was a shock to her for sure. As for ammo, she did give it out, but I was hoping to get more definitive stuff from her today. However, that would have blown our hand if we end up going to trial, so I guess it is best it stayed as it was for now.
Talk to you all later. Thanks for caring and checking in. RTL
Ok, so as we agreed upon today, I went home and found out whatever information I could about our original equity line for W to look over. I sent W an e-mail about it and then left the house b/c I was so ticked off still. I was going to go price things at Lowe's and then grab some dinner and beer.
Well, when I was out, W sent me a text asking about bathing D and then replied to my answer w/ "thank you for being honest." I asked what she meant and she said "honest about D." Well, I was stil a bit angry at her at this point, so I couldn't resist this little jab in my reply:
Quote:
I have to always try to tell the truth so I can live w/ myself and because it is the right thing to do. I may not be perfect, but I will never lie about D or anything that affects her.
Either it went over W's head or she chose to ignore it, b/c she didn't directly respond to it. We sent a few more texts about D's skin rash and then I just ended it by saying "Good. Tell D I'll call her at 7. Have a good night." I was really done talking w/ W for the evening, so I pulled the plug.
I called D a little before 7 and told her goodnight. W then called twice and sent a text in between 7:10 and 7:25 which I didn't get b/c I was out and couldn't hear the phone. I did get in touch w/ W around 8:45 and she said it was "medical, but I don't need your help right now." I replied asking what was going on and finally had to ask her to "tell me what is going on w/ my daughter" before she would respond.
I guess D had an allergic reaction to the baking soda we were to put into her bath for her little yeast infection. W and I have exchanged texts on the subject and I'm supposed to call at 11 to check on D's status.
Isn't it weird that she lies in front of me in public today, but wants my help, assistance and just basic conversation when we are "off the record?" This is more frustration on top of frustration. What is her deal? What does my W want anyway?
I'm tired of her games and I wish I just knew the rules once and for all. She seems to play a different game every day but she neglects to tell me which one we're doing.
It is frustrating and depressingly sad all at the same time. I'm curious to see how tonight's conversation goes. I'll be making it brief as she isn't on my "want to talk to a lot right now" list.
I'm so pissed that I actually would like to see her grilled on the stand b/c she has created another world that never existed before. RTL
I was once married to someone like that--who would lie and then lie some more to support previous lies. Then she would fight to support the lies until she was exposed as a complete fraud. My guess is that you will have to play this game to its bitter conclusion and publicly expose her for what she is.
This probably is not much comfort to you RTL, but you have played the divorce game well so far. You have acted reasonably and ethically, while still protecting your own position. Now is when you need to take a deep breath--the trial is the end game. You have positioned yourself well by documenting all of your wife's lies and irrational behaviors. Don't lose your cool and tip your hand. You will have your opportunity soon enough.
RTL, I know what it is like to be with a liar. My STBX just lies to simply avoid the truth in every aspect of her life. She has gone throughout her life with her family believing her word as gold and do not konw how big of a fraud she is.
This is business now, in regards to splitting everything and I know how tough it is to fight through all that as well as the D. Stay strong and do what you need to do for you and your D. It sounds as if you are moving through the process somewhat quickly. Good for you, it is still too slow for my case...
Me=29 WAW=25 S=2 "I need a break" = 6/07 Filed = 12/07
I'm not sure if we'll ever get to a trial, but if we do there will be our chance to expose her as a fraud. I hate the fact that I'm still angry at her. I'm still very ticked at what she's pulling and how she is so insecure that she has to blame me for all of her problems. Don't bullies pick on others b/c of their own insecurities? Maybe my W is a bully?
I am going to continue to play the game by the rules and I will look at things as a business from here on out, just like I've been doing all along. I appreciate you noticing that I've been reasonable and ethical up to now and I want to continue to do so for the duration.
I'll work hard to keep my cool, documenting everything, and letting her hang herself. I may have to wait for several years to be fully vindicated, but I'll be a patient man.
My STBX's parents and family also believe she's flawless and that is what eats at me the most b/c I loved them as my own family and they are going to be around my D from time to time. I can only hope they will be mature about things when it comes to discussing me.
I also hope my saga continues to end shortly, but who really knows what path we'll be on soon. I have my pre-trial hearing on the 6th so we'll see if there is any progress at that point. I also go into the parenting evaluator w/ my D on Monday, so that should help move the process along as well. I will also be asking the parenting evaluator to consider requiring having my D be put into a school district that is equidistant from both of our work places.
I'm sorry that your W is still acting as her own counsel which is grinding things to a halt for you. It would be nice to have her step things up and move forward for everyone's sake.
