Allison is so right. Most of us here never thought this would happen to us. You know what MLC has taught ME?? It has taught me how to love myself again and that I am not just a mother, friend, wife etc. It has taught me not to take things for granted anymore! I has taught me more patience and understanding of everything in my life.
I really think that MLC is a growing experience for our H's and for us. It makes us look inside ourselves again. I actually feel alive again and look at things with different eyes.
You will get there. You will find peace. Your H will make his way through MLC. He will be angry, withdrawn, not loving anyone but himself. His eyes will open one day and he will realise what he has gotten himself into. Hopefully when he does come out of this that he will be a better person and realise what he has left behind. Let God guide him home!!!!
do you ever tell them you want them to come home??? Do you really not say anything to them.....I think my H is settling down with his new life now....It has been almost a year since we made love and he is probably over it all....told D15 that we were going to live apart for a while but whatever happened was for the best.....she said, "maybe for you"....
H has been very distant this week from all of us....normally he would call every night to talk to kids...only called Tuesday...staying away from the house as much as he can...
I don't like it when I don't hear his voice or see him....makes me feel like I should give up but I don't want to...I"m so confused.....I just want my family back....I want to start over and create a new and stronger marriage....I know, I know....PATIENCE.....not one of my strong points....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
At the beginning I did tell him that I wanted him to come home. He said he wasn't ever going to come home. He wanted to do for himself and not be responsible for anyone else. Now is that clear thinking or not????
Don't forget they go through a withdrawl stage too. Maybe that is what is going on with your H. Yep, patience. You will get there!
Yep YR, My H says he just doesn't want to be married anymore....burns me up that they can just decide they want no responsibility anymore....what the heck....I would never just walk away....I would try everything possible to make it work and then if it didn't then I would talk S....he just decided for both of us...
And he is definately withdrawing from the family....my kids are making it easy for him though because they aren't speaking to him right now....makes it easy to walk away....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
I went out with some coworkers tonight and had a great time...we played cornhole and had a few drinks....I was sitting talking to some of the males and they have always been very nice to me...some are married and wow they gave me some great compliments....they told me I was beautiful...and that I could have anyone I wanted....unfortunately I want my H but that doesn't seem to be working for me right now....but they did make me feel good since my self esteem is in the toilet right now....the last thing I want to do is something I will regret later....
H called me while I was out but I missed the call....thought he was going to tell me he could pick up son and I could stay out longer but he didn't ...I called him back to see what he wanted and he said he had to go to a few other places...it's all a lie...he stutters when he lies...grrrrr....I just said okay, I'll go get son and bye....of course I went to get son, home 5 minutes and the phone rings...it's H to talk to son...or was he checking to see if I was home....I think a little of both...
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Thank you for the encouragement! It is so helpful to hear what you have been through & know what all of us are going through now.
I hope it will be soon that my H will come out of this. I can't imagine him being with someone like OW. He always hated woman like her who would chase after a married man & sleep with every Tom, Dick & Harry. I remember once when a friend of ours was sleeping with a MM, he nor I either one wanted to have anything to do with her b/c she was doing this. Now what does that say about OW!!! I just never thought he would do this, I know everyone is in the same boat!!
Thank you again! I'm scared & lonely & I'm so afraid I won't hear from him again, especially since he is in another state with her.
Assume he's not coming back. Take care of yourself and your kids. Get on with your life. Then if he comes back, it's a bonus. If not, you're moving on.
"Now some kind of man, he can't do anything wrong. If I see him I'll tell him you're waiting." ---Lowell George
