I came thru and I am so much better off now then I have ever been.. Finally saw the light in my self and I dropped the rope and it felt so good. It took along time to get it done but I did it. And it really is great. I have a wonderful life full of great blessings.
I have my children, my mom and sister and a very special best friend. We have been friends for over 37 years and she was there for me. She didn't get MLC and what it was all about..and that was okay. But she helped me and I will forever be eternally grateful.
It was very tough for me. I was married to him for 30 years together for 29 it was hard and lonely at times but I am soo much better off. I got thru it and I am a better and stronger person for it. I remember the seconds, not minutes...seconds. Being so so afraid..not able to leave the house with out someone with me. Staying inside all the time never going out. Losing my job as a hairdresser because I was so traumtized. I have really moved on and it feels so good. I do not talk to him or see him. I really like that part. I was traumatized by him and I will never forgive him for what he did. MLC or not. He just does not deserve it. I am not bitter just in a place where I am more important and stronger. "Stupid" told me to get strong and I DID!! That in it self is such a great feeling and it is so hard to describe but it feels so good. I never thought that I would make it at times but here I am and so much better off without him. MUCH BETTER OFF He's a narcisstic sociopath. He's so much more but, justing knowing that I call the shots now and I don't ever have to talk to him or see him again in my life makes me really happy. He wasn't a nice person and I beleived that he was..not anymore.
I have always said the what comes around goes around and it has for Stupid.. He is being auditied for the 3rd time by the IRS and he wants me to amend my income tax statement for 2006..YEP that's going to happen for his benifit... awesome smile to my face
...get this,,,, he sent a email to my oldest son to forward to me today....My son called me to ask if he could do that..Told him no.. He was speechless. I liked that part.. I explained to my son that what his father was doing by sending it to him was very dysfunctional and not normal. That it put him in the middle of business between X and me. I explained how I felt and he really understood the point I was trying to get thru. He said that he would not do it any more and tell his father. This was his option I did not offer anything. I will have to get with the tax accountant and lawyer to decide what I should and shouldn't do.
X wants me to claim $8,000.00 dollars for alimony when we weren't even divorced...he's claiming all the expenses for the house he left. He got the house so some of those bills were his outright. He's claiming health insurance, dental insurance, phones cable electric heating oil the divorce papers state what I am responsible for and what he was responsible for. He's in trouble and needs my help don't think I can do much. I just thought it was all over now this...I will have to see the tax accountant and the lawyer again.
My children are still trying to have a normal relationship with X but they are still being hurt and disappointed and I don't say a word. They want a relationship with X they are going to have to figure a way to do that where they won't be hurt. It is so sad for the children...at any age..In many ways the divorce and everything that happened has brought me closer to my children.. I think that it does that for the good spouse in that situation. They have learned to respect me and my feelings. They are learning along with me that I won't be treated like I was by their father. He was a abuser, emotionally, mentialy and verbally.
I have a new career in hotel managemnt and I am loving it. I quit my job taking care of psychos in the psych ward at the hospital. There's a lackluster, and unfulling job if you ever saw one. I went back to school and started a new career. I can't do hair anymore...one of the down sides to all what happened. But I am happy at what I do and I am good at it too. I moved into a awesome condo and neighborhood. I enjoy fixing the place up and it feels good to call it home I own it!!
WE go thru divorce and we are okay it takes time as the old saying goes "time heals all wounds" is really true. It takes each of us down our own paths to getting a new life and the lessons learned are so important for us to built on and cherish. Our own adventures lead us to new life experiences that are truly welcoming and so beneficail to us. To see where we have been and where we are now is exhilarating... many more days and years will come and the wounds from our past fade away and replaced with much better memories and experiences I am truly happy and I am glad that I divorced him. He really wasn't worth holding onto and once I realized that I soared. It is awesome being me, looking back and seeing what I have become on my own.
There are new adventures in my life and I like it. I got strong and you will too and feel ssssooooooooooooo good. It may not have turned out like you wanted but God may have alternatives for you in your future. take the time to enjoy them and definitely move on it is so worth it.ITSY
Last edited by itsy; 04/19/0803:34 AM.
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
Hi Itsy, Just wanted to say how much I appreciated your post. Seems like you've done a complete 180 as far as your R with X. YAY, you!!!
Yes, even tho we originally didn't want a D, it's turned out to be the best thing for ME.
Anyway, around these parts the first poster gets a drink......can you have a couple of margaritas ready for me at noon??? I'll be back....and congratulations on making a great life for yourself!!!
This is some story! You've done great inspite of all your were handed. What you've lived through and done with your life should be an inspiration to all of us and the fact that you are grateful for the life you have is the best. Afterall, nobody got you to this point but you.
I think that you were very wise in the way you dealt with your son. Making him the go between could have ended up making him very bitter and backfiring in everyone's face. Besides that, he was using his own son for purely selfish reasons. Obviously he hasn't done too much working on himself since it appears he hasn't changed and really doesn't get it. He's still using you for his selfish need, but good for you for recognizing that for what it is.
You know, Michele's next book should be about survivors. Lord knows she has enough stories to draw from. I think that it would be so inspirational especially for newcomers to see that although this is not the outcome that we hoped for, that in noway means that our life can't be a good and happy once again. I really wish that after I had come here, and realized that I was not going to be able to save my marriage no matter how much I hoped and prayed, that I could go on and be happier and stronger in someways that I never would have believed.
When Michele said in her book that not all marriages would be saved, I didn't want to hear that, but looking back now, that book was my saving grace because it gave me hope and something to work for in the "meantime".
Thanks for posting.. i wanted to keep the marriage but for me it has yurned out to be the best thing ...I will take a mexican margarita with some jalepeno poppers...whoha.... I'll be around to post thanks for drink walking over to new found male ...hehehe
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
Good to hear from someone that I remmeber on the BB back when. How are you and what became of your situation. I haven;t been on here in 2 years. I healed up. I've been over to MLC and it'so sad to see that the cycle continues daily. Just stoppping by I think your thread locked i couldn't post on it. Take care ITSY
M54 H54 married 30 years Prostitues and Other women "100's" 10/7/2004 Prostitue/Junkie girlfriend 6/04-1/07? Left 1/5/05 returned 1/9/05 Asked h to leave 4/2005 Had to, prostitues OW 5/2005 not a prostitue Divorced 9/2006
awesome smile to my face
