Living one day at a time

[Michael Mc C]

Hey Husband, been away for a while but of course had to stop in and check on ya. Sorry I've been absent...

I agree with everyone here and I know you already know this, but don't go with any expectations other than to have a good time out with your wife. HFF touched on something that I have been guilty of myself - convincing myself that things are going to turn out THIS way and then, if/when they don't, I would end up sucking all of the successes out of the evening by reverting back to my passive agressive nature.

Go. Have fun. Show your wife AND mil that you are a hell of a lot of fun to be with. Let them see you having fun with others (I do NOT recommend too much flirting with other women ).

Of course, secretly, I'll have my fingers crossed for you...

[Dr LOve]

Ok Yoyo,

I just got back from MIL house. She brought it up agian. I told her as long as we can get a sitter for son ALL NIGHT LONG/ I will do it.
Hey I am going for a good night kiss tonight......

bye
H

Ok want to clear something up. First this conv. was with MIL NOT W.And did not get the Opportunity for the kiss last night

[klm]

Hey Husband, I hope you are having a good day!

I agree with everyone else about going with your W. Go into it with no expectations, it doesn't matter what used to happen when you would go. Just go and have a good time, let W see that she can have a good time with you.

[Yoyowife]

So are you going? Inquiring minds want to know...

[Dr LOve]

No, has not come up.has not come up. have a question for ya though..I amnot doing it for her but don't you think is she did care she would have asked by now how I am doing with my Non smoking?

[hopeforfuture]

Also a little later this evening Wife said her mom wants us to take her to "Voulpis".

Ok want to clear something up. First this conv. was with MIL NOT W.

I'm confused (I know, we all are). It sounds like it was MIL's idea, but that your W did come to you and ask about it. Sounds like she could have just told MIL that it wasn't a good idea without ever asking for you input.

No, has not come up.has not come up. have a question for ya though..I amnot doing it for her but don't you think is she did care she would have asked by now how I am doing with my Non smoking?

H, we aren't mind readers. I can't tell you why W hasn't commented on the not smoking. Maybe she doesn't want to jinx anything. Maybe she is still unsure of her feelings and doesn't want to give you false expectations. Maybe you are correct and she just doesn't care, but it doesn't matter. You are doing it for yourself. Make a point of dropping little hints here and there about it. Not something blatent like "Hey W, have you noticed I've quit?". Try subtle "I can't believe how much better everything tastes and smells since I've stopped smoking."

Keep up the good work on the not smoking!

[Dr LOve]

Hf,

I know I am not doing it for her, It was just that everyone keeps saying she seems to be "reaching out" and yet I think this would have been a area that she would.

No worries I was just making a statement..

Have a great day

H IT"S FRIDAY.. Hey money is short butI have had that$10.00 in my pocket all week... I think I need a beer....

H

[Yoyowife]

Husband,
The thing I have noticed about your wife is that she is not a big communicator. I agree with HFF, don't wait for her to bring it up, bring it up yourself. Has she always been a noncommunicator like this and it never bothered you before the bomb or is this something new?

[Dr LOve]

Journaling,

Today was ruff. I think I had my first nicotine withdrawal. I was really jumpy. I have been thinking back and forth about just giving up and telling W we just should separate. Then I think that this will most likely give her a nerves break down. She is stressed looking for work even though she is setting her sites to high. I think she may be seeing the light and try for something smaller for the short term. So If I guit like I said this will only make things worst in our home right now.

BUT...
When I came home W was gone. No note (one of my pet peeves LEAVE A NOTE) but when she got home I did not say anything. She walked in and said Hi in a cheerful way I said hi back. Then she left to go pick up son from school. So I left WITHOUT leaving a note... I went over to my uncles and worked on my wood splitter; I got it running and decided to split a little wood while I was there. I cam home at dinner time. I had to take things to my shop out back so I came in through the back door. Then I sat down in the family room and started watching T.V. Wife had made Pizza (just like you ZuZu) for dinner and then said "Since you are resting do you want me to get you some pizza?" I was shocked... I said ya sure. She brought me some pizza and asked what I wanted to drink. I said water will be fine so she filled a glass with Ice and then water and gave it to me. I said thanks...

WHY... why when I am ready to throw in the towel does there alway have to be a turn in events? My reading today....


You may have reached the end of the line and what worked well for you in the past may have outlived its useful life. Don't try to hold on to memories that only bring you pain. Let the thoughts bubble into consciousness and then leave them in the past where they belong. Try conjuring up some of that famous Piscean compassion so you can judge yourself less harshly. Being kind to others starts with you first.

So that's about it. I have gone 5 days now without smoking. It is starting to get to me but I am not going to give up.
Guess I am not going to give up on my marriage yet either...

Later

Oh yea.. The other day when I came home from work I went into her office. She was at her computer. I walked up to her and put my hands on her shoulders and gave her a kiss on the cheek. When I looked at the computer she was looking up medical stuff......

[kml]

What kind of medical stuff was she looking up?

Ellie