Still in love with my waw....after divorce

[Chevelle]

Yep, on the outside, things with my XW and OM seem to be perfect, but what I hear, its not.....funny, it looked that way when XW and I were together too...lol.

I hear a lot, and since I keep my nose out of it...as long as the kids are fine, I am cool with the sitch...she doesnt talk to me anyway unless its about the kids. She feels she cant come for me to talk, cause when we did, I always let hope linger in but whatever, I find Im better off if I dont hear from her. Tragically, I feel anymore that I cant stand for her to call me...

So now, I hope OM knows he is getting into a major dysfunctional family that I was able to deal with, but not many can....so good luck to him!!

God Bless

Chevelle

[Bill_S]

I dont know whats worse. My ex being happy after what she did or being unhappy with a jerk and kicking me to the curb. Im just trying to focus on my son. But sometimes the financial mess she helped cause is overwhelming. Ive got to dig out before I can be happy. Im thinking that for a year I should just forget about dating and just zero in on a few important things. Even if I met a great woman I dont think I could be happy with my debt and still needing a home of my own. Shes not really on fire to refinance and its hurting me. Havent gotten that "stimulus" money and I paid the taxes we owed. By the end of July we should get it and most of it comes to me. That will stabilize me.

Whats worse? The emotional or financial problems that come with divorce? I guess being more concerned about money means Im LESS concerned about her

I just try to remember its one step at a time.

Bill

[Bill_S]

An update and a question...

Am I wrong here?

A few nights ago my son told me(when I dropped him off at XW) hes scared. We talked(mom in bed) and he told me she hasnt been around much so he doeant feel "safe". Said hes afraid she wont wake up if theres a problem, she will leave and not tell him and he feels alone when shes there. We talked...I said she loved him etc. Just tried to reassure him. Later after I left I texted and told her we needed to talk about our son. She replied he was sleeping with her....no big deal. Next day I asked why and he said he heard some noises and was scared. Told me he wanted me there. I know....insecurity caused by the disruption. He then told me at 3 am her bf knocked on the window and wanted in so she made my son go upstairs and the bf slept there. In the morning she left and he stayed (sleeping) and then left.

I feel its very inappropriate and possibly unsafe and it made me angry. She said hes fine (sexually abused as a kid, ex alcoholic, has cheated on her, lied, told everyone where she works about what they do, and more). Doesnt sound so good to me. On top of that shes now allowing her 17 year old d to have her bf spend the night. When I asked why she said "I have my reasons". To that I said "Why wont you say anything to her(as in NO)? Afraid you will look like an ass?"

Am I wrong to think this is all wrong and sets a very bad example for my son. Shes sleeping with him an the house and my son has knocked on the bedroom door to see her answer in his shirt while hes in bed.

Or is MY head screwed on wrong????

[No_More_Dodo]

An update and a question...

Am I wrong here?

A few nights ago my son told me(when I dropped him off at XW) hes scared. We talked(mom in bed) and he told me she hasnt been around much so he doeant feel "safe". Said hes afraid she wont wake up if theres a problem, she will leave and not tell him and he feels alone when shes there. We talked...I said she loved him etc. Just tried to reassure him. Later after I left I texted and told her we needed to talk about our son. She replied he was sleeping with her....no big deal. Next day I asked why and he said he heard some noises and was scared. Told me he wanted me there. I know....insecurity caused by the disruption. He then told me at 3 am her bf knocked on the window and wanted in so she made my son go upstairs and the bf slept there. In the morning she left and he stayed (sleeping) and then left.

I feel its very inappropriate and possibly unsafe and it made me angry. She said hes fine (sexually abused as a kid, ex alcoholic, has cheated on her, lied, told everyone where she works about what they do, and more). Doesnt sound so good to me. On top of that shes now allowing her 17 year old d to have her bf spend the night. When I asked why she said "I have my reasons". To that I said "Why wont you say anything to her(as in NO)? Afraid you will look like an ass?"

Am I wrong to think this is all wrong and sets a very bad example for my son. Shes sleeping with him an the house and my son has knocked on the bedroom door to see her answer in his shirt while hes in bed.

Or is MY head screwed on wrong????

Bill_S,

You exW has NO clue as to right vs. wrong.......

She leaves your M.......

She has an A........

She allows OM to "stay over" when the kids are there.....

She allows D to have BF "sleep over".....

You need to let her know what you think......

You CANNOT "force" her to do anything....

But, you can let her know how you feel...

I would also strongly suggest e-mailing her so you have documentation for CYA or other use later......

Take Care,

NMD

[Bill_S]

NMD,

Ive told her clearly how I feel...although it was less than civil. She knows. Right and wrong is relative to someone who thinks like that. But sending a text or email is a good idea. Her Dad is pretty level headed and knows about this stuff so I should probably let him know her reaction to her daughters bf since I have no "rights" here. She still thinks Im trying to control her.....

[Bill_S]

haven't posted in a long time. So I thought I'd put the latest crazy thing she said in my other thread in just for fun.

I have to say it's been 9 months since our divorce. I don't see her very much (thankfully) and my son prefers being with me at this point. I am trying to get him to understand his mom has problems but loves him. My ex has been dumped by her BF yet again and her life is a huge mess. She can't cope without drinking and her kids think she's nuts. She put over 18 months into a relationship with a guy who cheats.


Me, Im doing pretty good. I feel so much better getting out of that house and away from her. I never thought I'd get over it but I did. Matter of fact I don't feel anything for her except feeling sorry for her. I don't even remember what it is I saw in her. She's like a stranger now and now that she's gone I feel like a weight has been lifted! And I can honestly say I don't love her anymore except as a person.