I am a frequent visitor to the forum, but not much of a poster.
Question for you all--I had my spouse served with divorce papers this past Thursday without notifying him. We spoke on Friday about his getting the mail and I pointedly asked if he had anything else to say to me. He said no.
In an e-mail exchange today, he writes "I figured there was nothing to say. You didn't feel the need to let me know ahead of time so why comment? At this point its in the lawyer's hands I guess."
He did not feel the need to let me know he moved in with the OW less than 3 weeks after moving out of the house, and I know the affair had been going on much longer.
Should I feel anger or disbelief? I just want to feel nothing.
I'm really sorry you find yourself needing to be posting here, and sorry that your M seems to be heading toward D.
As to what you should feel...IMO whatever feeling surfaces is the right one. Your understanding of its meaning and how you decide to act on it is what matters.
Right now, if you are this early in the process, I imagine your feelings change from second to second, which is no surprise to any of us.
I agree with AH. Feel what you feel. No one can tell you what or how to feel. The difference is how you deal with those feelings. For now though, I would just ride them because it is so fresh.
I can say that for me, I continue to treat H how I would like to be treated. Yeah, it hurts sometimes but I can feel good about myself for doing so.
