thanks Scott! I did ask the realtor who came to see the house how much her fees would be, I'm also deducting that. Buying him out inmediatly sounds like the best option, I called my bank that holds my mortgage and they offered me a loan for 8.7% on the min. of 10,000. Mmmm, I have to think about that one, it'd be like loosing 800 just to get rid of H.
H called an appraiser but haven't heard from him, he came up with a totally absurd price for the house from the internet, so he's not settlign with the price i came up with. Whatever, chances the appraiser will come up with an amount even lower than what I had offered, so he'll prob screw himself up.
He's still suggesting I forgo the difference of the CS after 5yrs in lieu of his interest (for waiting 5yrs altogheter), yea right, that is way to much! He still wont' believe court only appoints 3% of interest when someone owes the other $$.
Still thinking, if you see a trail of smoke it's coming from my head.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
BI my sweet girl)))))))))) how are you? I want to know how you are doing hon, thanks so much for coming over, I love seing you here
Went out with a friend today and saw Penelope (awesome movie! funny chick flick) It was about a girl with a curse, at some poing in the movie someone said: "it is not the curse, it is the power you give to the course"... That left me thinking and replacing "curse" with "D"
How much power do I want to give it in my life?
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Don't agree to any reduction in child support. Who knows where you will be in five years? He can always take you to court in five years if he wants to.
Take CS negotiations off the table -- you take what the state says you are entitled to. I promise they aren't going to be giving you too much.
The house payoff is a simply business matter. Not really much to negotiate there once the appraisal number is settled and payoff amount determined.
House deductions are yours, it is your house.
I don't see a lot to argue about.
He has two options:
(1) He gives you the full amount of state child support and you pay him the payoff amount over 5 years.
(2) He gives you the full amount of state child support and you pay him the payoff amount NOW.
In exchange for NOW, you get the exemptions for the kids. This can be a place for bargaining. Maybe he can get one exemption every third year, or ALL kid exemptions this year, but never any in the future. He might actually really like this option. Again, my guess is that he is going to be all about the up front money to solve the problems in his new life.
he actually got a L and was full of it about it (he was furious that day and "accused" me of getting a L and now he gets one, dork, I dont' care). He didnt' believe my CS numbers, his L told him I was right, also that there couldnt' be any reduction since I could file and screw him, the opposite of what MY L told me. The reason for the reduced CS was a way to bargain w/him into buying his half. I really wish I could get a low % loan to pay him off, grrr, it isn't much either! just about 8k. We forgo the appraiser since he called someone else (realtor, dont' know, perhaps even L told him to take what I offered) and agreed that the price we put on the table is fair. With some improvements my home would sell for that much.
We still need to iron out the other details, this whole thing might be done in a blink of an eye, jeez.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
The Fed cut the interest rate 3/4 of a point today so you may be able to do a little better on the loan now.
You're getting some great advice here. OT is right on - they have ways to negate future payments. Ask Queenie. She just went back to court several years later to get her X to pay something he agreed to and she really doesn't know if or when she'll get it.
I laughed when I read your STBX got value from the internet. I'm not a residential appraiser but I could be if I wanted to. It's just too hard to switch from commercial to residential - the learning curve is great. Anyway, glad you got him to agree. Just be certain your numbers are good ones. We're not usually very business-like when we think of our homes. And with the way the housing market is now, I'd be careful.
Hi This2, You have always been one to give me honest advice and was hoping you could help me out today. XH has been trying to bring up issues he had with me from our past R. He's very sneaky about it though because he packages it with current situations that have to do with the house or D11. Today he sent me this long email about how I should make decisions for ME and not let D11 intervene (long story) and felt that was always an issue for me in the past. I am getting tired of it. I want to put a stop to it because I feel he is crossing some boundaries, but I also do not want to engage him in a discussion about it.
"XH, thanks for your concern, but please limit your comments to those relevant to business matters."
Then, ignore the other stuff and address only the business matters.
If he does it again,
"XH, perhaps I was not clear enough last time. Please do not attempt to give me any input on my personal life. If it doesn't concern financial or childcare arrangements, don't bring it up with me."
