Pinkribbon - just wanted to let you know on your thread that your excitement over your nails motivated me to get a somewhat different haircut today before I dropped off 5D. It's amazing how good you feel when you do something simple like that. I told the hairsylist, Karen, to make me look sexy. I felt like I looked so good she might attack any minute...lmao...of course no attack but good few minutes, in accordance with my plan.
btw, I mentioned her name b/c that is a 180 for me and something that might help. I struck up 3 meaningful conversations with strangers and names while I was at the haircut place. One woman dug out a book with lots of highlighting. Turned right to her bookmark, "how to restore a relationship" turns out I have that book "purpose driven life" but haven't read it yet. Blah blah...never would've had that conversation with her had I not just said something. When I left I even thanked her and told her how she inspired me. Sure wish I could talk to my wife the way I feel now. I am just so happy with the choices I am making. blah blah...your thread...hope the talk to strangers, in public, gives you an idea...oh and I gave the hairstylist a 30% tip, more 180's. They aren't that hard once you get started...ordered the new item at the restraunt...180 all day long...feels great...
Thanks so much for the idea and gl2u
So you were having a ball in the beauty parlor!! That sounds so cute! Talking with the ladies about divorce remedy. So has the wife seen the hair?? Did she like it??
Seems both of us are just a boatload of 180's! I drank and flirted and stayed out late. Woohoo I am a PARTY ANIMAL! hahahahah now the animal is pooped and wants to lay down.
Beauty parlor...emmmm...don't know about that...do men go there...rofl...was at the mall so maybe so...I did have fun...no DR in there just application.
She did see the hair. She had to know because of the way I was running out of time and brought 5D to her with dinner...Regardless, WAW is not about to pay me a compliment. Not now...
Interesting that your H replied to the email from your LBS friend - nice lingo, btw, really helped me understand. Maybe you are doing a good job leaving him alone and he wants you to find out.
Heck I don't know, I am such the clueless wonder with this women/men thing...that's my reaction...I would want you to know without telling you. I definitely would do nothing though. Do not contact him...He has to pursue/share with you.
Yes men go to Beauty Parlor. My husband has been going to the same one for about 10 years. They cut his hair and pull it through the little cap to blonde the ends. They also wax his eyebrows for him. He never asked me to go with him but that is what he tells me.
Awww man I was hoping she would think the hair looked nice. At least you think it looks nice and really that is all that counts. You felt good having it done and boosted you a little. And I imagine a few ladies may have noticed. I always walk 10 feet taller when I feel I look good.
Yea silly duck I specifically said to her last weekend that I was not going to contact him and had no desire to contact him right now. And she goes and emails him. She is a nosy bug but she is a peach. Lingo?
I am not emailing, calling or pursuing him. Hahahahah Seriously I am really tired of being put down everytime I talk to him. I was going to email him and ask for my helmet. Some guy I met wants me to ride with him but I figured he would say no about the helmet and I would tick him off in the process because I called. I wish he would have been jealous but I can safely say that it has been 25 days of no contact...he does not care.
Who knows. I don't get the woman/man thing either. I thought marriage was you got married, had a family, worked, played, lived and loved together. When things got rough you did everything under the sun until it was fixed and you moved forward. You loved and respected your spouse and you never put them down in fron of others and you never let someone between the 2 of you. You keep the "Chemistry" alive and in full throttle and you just enjoy yourselves. I guess I was wrong.
I think I may have to move to the divorce it is done section.
Well I know that this happened for me because I hollered at my WAW last 2 weekends before the bomb...It had nothing to do with her and everything to do with how I was feeling about myself. But, she will say that she will never be with someone like that. Now that I am not "sick" anymore, I'd like to think that her seeing my 180's and changes will give her pause. She is definitely noticing.
Don't more to D section...it isn't done yet.
Don't call for the helmet, by another if need be...I struggle with that too, like calling for 5D shoes or something simple. But it is an unnecessary contact. Shows you need them and seems like a little pursuing. Go get what you need without contacting if at all possible. I try to reevaluate what I would be calling about and if it absolutely necessary. Most of the time, it is not...I just want to hear the sweetness in my WAW's voice over something simple. And when they call you, you get to hear that voice like I did this morning
Ouch! Yelling at the wife?? Ok not a good thing but you have worked through that and realized your mistakes. People make mistakes. No one is perfect. That is one of mine and my hubands problems. I realize people make mistakes, I don't hold a grudge and I forgive quickly. He doesn't make mistakes so no one else should and he never forgives me. He always hated how I forgave easily. You know I have never seen him be mean to anyone except me. He still holds a grudge for stuff before we got married. I would say I am not going to ruin my future by dwelling on stuff in the past...just let it go.
Ok I am not going to call about the helmet. I really did want to ask him about his arm but I will let that one go also. If he wanted me to know he would have told me.
Ok I have a small question. I had this really great time Friday night and well it seems that someone thought I was really nice. (Surprise surprise considering for the last 5 months I have heard what an ogre I am and how much I am hated) About 10 mins ago my friend came in my office with this guys number I spent most of the night hanging around with. He called the bar, tracked down someone else's #, who then called my friend who said no she wouldn't give out my number but will pass his on.
Ok so do I call? Do I go out if he asks? I almost feel like I need to ask my husband for permission. I mean he hasn't seen me in 5 months and we work on the same campus. He is literally a 10 min walk from my office. He doesn't email, text or anything except when we do talk tells me how horrible I am. I am beginning to feel crazy everytime he tells me. The last time he is "literally scared to death of me". I just feel like I am cheating if I call. Is that normal? I want my husband back but I know in my heart he won't come back. I can read numerous books and pray that he opens the door just to talk to me but he hasn't. He can't even tell me he is hurt. That is how much he hates me. The man is going to have sugery and won't even tell me. So what do I do???
Ok I am not going to call about the helmet. I really did want to ask him about his arm but I will let that one go also. If he wanted me to know he would have told me.
Exactly, he would call...however, I do think he wanted you to know by telling your friend.
As far as the I guess dating thing, I'd say that's your decision. However, I decided a longggg time ago, that I would not. Some reasons: 1) I love my wife, simple, I really do not want anyone else. 2) in reading, hope for the separated, something that stuck out...would you do it if you were not separated? This thought sticks out to me in your comment "ask my H for permission". And those are all the reasons I need. Honestly, I just need #1...I do not want anyone else, I love her unconditionally.
However, it does, I suppose, bear mentioning that some do date, dance, go out with another, etc...and have no problem with it. It does show you are moving on, etc...and for some people that gets a reaction from their spouse. I guess you can say it is just not me and I don't want this issue.
Quote:
I just feel like I am cheating if I call.
I know that feeling and I am way worse. I didn't enroll in a dance class because I feel like I cannot dance close to another.
Having said all that, your post makes it sound like if he won't come back in some time frame then I should go out. Not being ugly, but that doesn't make sense to me...like if I get a D I will buy this real nice expensive ____. What do you want? Do you want H or do you want something else...I ask because that's the way your post reads to me. Some people go out just to have a good time and have no problem separating harmless fun from their R/M. Some I suppose do more. I just do not want any part of it. I view it as moving on. I don't want that. Furthermore, if the day comes where their is absolutely no chance for me, I would still need more time to heal myself before even attempting another R. Also, something to keep in mind...you absolutely do not have to decide squat today. Just table it for awhile.
You make a very very good point. I don't want anyone but him. So why even go through the motions because it is still not what I want. That's why I asked to have someone point out a different view other than mine. So no you didn't sound ugly
I want my husband. I never get to even say HI so I guess I am doubting my loyalty to myself.
It's just the way you stated your post that made me state it as an either option a or option b. Like I said, some people choose option c with the intention of holding onto hopes of option a. Just not me.
Just have a good time with your friends...don't create this kind of stress on yourself...have a good time like last Friday. Try not to complicate things for yourself...gl2u
yeah I know...hit me with the frying pan...I deserve it. Twice maybe totalling ten minutes - 1st Saturday - marker stain in my truck. 2nd Saturday - I accidentally got both sets of car keys...Really stinks how sick I was then...markers and keys. How important was that? Talk about feeling like a rotten egg. 180 a bit on this...5D has stickers all over inside of truck and I even let her use her sidewalk chalk and write all over outside of my truck...lmao...need to do it again right before a drop-off...rofl...
Hahahahah Seriously I am really tired of being put down everytime I talk to him. I was going to email him and ask for my helmet. Some guy I met wants me to ride with him but I figured he would say no about the helmet and I would tick him off in the process because I called. I wish he would have been jealous but I can safely say that it has been 25 days of no contact...he does not care.