I want to start this thread by thanking everyone for the support you've given me. I don't know where I'd be right now without the people on these BB's. You guys rock!
I don't really have much to add to last nights post.
I'm still trying to stay focused on my personal goals that I listed on my last thread. I am really sware of the need to focus on myself and find myself so to speak (hence Finding Supermom) I'm going to post my goals again to remind myself!
1) I have tendency to always worry about what others think of me and if I'm being judged. GOAL: I will not dwell on what others may be thinking. I'll be true to myself and have confidence in my decisions without feeling the need to justify or explain to others.
2) I have a bit of a fear of being alone. As a result I've really leaned on a lot of people during this time (rightfully so), but I need to feel comfortable on my own. GOAL: To not try to fill every moment with friends. Enjoy time spent with me and start to do things just for and about me. Like Yoga. And reading. And knitting. I could go on and on...
3) I want to be more easy going. I have a habit of getting caught up in the routines and schedules andd little details of everyday life as a mom of 2 little ones and I just need to back off and let things play out. GOAL: Back off sometimes and just go with the flow.
4) Patience patience patience. I need to be more patient. This goes hand in hand with #3. GOAL: Stop looking for all the all actions and answers immediately and just back off and go with the flow. This goes fors my DB efforts as well as something as simple as giving my D bath and getting her into bed. Patience is afterall a virtue!
5) Stop talking to friends and family constantly about my sitch. I think that one is self explanatory.
I have one more to add that is specific to DB'ing...
6) Start acting happy in front of H. Fake it 'til I make. I know I've been up and down in this area and I need to be more consistant.
That's it for now! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
Get way to start your new thread Jenny. Awesome goals too, they all hit home w/ me. I could benefit a lot from the same goals. I know though I need to put some thought into it and come up w/ my own.
I'm so tired today. S was up a lot last night, I think he may be teething. D starts gymnastics tomorrow and we're both pretty excited about it!
Tomorrow night I am going out with some girl friends for dinner. H has the kids for the evening. I told him he could watch them here if he wanted because I was going out..but I didn't tell him where I was going. I'm going to get all dolled up and when he asks where I'm going, I'll say "I have a date". LOL! I know I won't be able to keep a straight face and I would tell him afterward that I was kidding, but I'm just dying to see if there is any reaction on his face!
Anyway, I probably will NOT say this. I'm all talk. Plus I hate playing little games like that. But I will get dolled up. I'll be looking my best! I need to get out of my Mommy clothes (aka yoga pants and a t-shirt) and feel sexy again!
H e-mailed me today and asked me for the account #'s for all of our bills so he could get his name off them. His Dad has been gone for 7 years and his name still comes up on the phone when you call his Mom. His Grandpa died 8 years ago and his name still comes up on the phone when you call his Grandma. But...H better hurry up and get his name off my phone! It just seems like he's trying to make a point. Alright! I get the point!
*Sigh*
Anyway...I'm having a blast with D since she came home yesterday. I'm doing well in the patience dept with her...and it's making a difference (thanks to goal #4!). That's it for now. Please wish me lots of sleep for me tonight! J~
M 35 H 29 M 4 yrs T 9 yrs D 3 S born 10/19/07 Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08 Status - still figuring this out
Your H is moving super fast it seems like. I thought mine was. Well, he did move in with her the same day he left. I know this sucks for you, but they are just bills. I try to tell myself that when something like that happens to me. Sometimes it calms me down and sometimes it does not. Thinking of you. Think of really pleasant things before you go to bed so you have sweet dreams. This helps me often.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
I should really have the courage to write my goals on my thread.. that way I will be held accountable for them. Maybe I'll do just that (but I need to make them more specific). I think a lot of my issues are reflected in your goals.
You sound like you're on the rebound to getting stronger again. I'm glad to hear it in your postings!
As for the bills, I really don't understand the rush but I don't understand WAS's either...
W2G PS. Brace yourself for more shoveling. They're calling for 10 o 15 inches tonight.. Yippee (not!!)
I told him yesterday that I was going out and the e-mail came today. Why? J~
Supermom,
I would have guessed that was your answer...now this is just my opinion but I kind of see this as an attempt for him to try and bring you down, or control you of sorts...like he's trying to get a reaction out of you, trying to control your feelings. He knows you are going out and I feel he's not too comfortable with that so he's grabbing onto whatever he can that he feels will upset you. Kwim?
What has been your reaction to past questions from him about the bills? Does it upset you? Does he see that it upsets you?
Now what would happen if you e-mailed him back today...in a cheerful tone...gave him the information that he requested, and then added something in about tonight (or whenever you're going out with friends) like..."Daughter is so looking forward to spending time with you tonight. I got her some new coloring books etc.. for you guys to work on while I'm gone" Some little thing like that...something that will show him that you've put a little preparation or thought into this night...like you've really been looking forward to this night out and want it to go smoothly. Disarm him of this thing that might upset you or that he knows upsets you. Let him feel your smile through the e-mail, phone or whatever...see what happens
He doesn't need to know what you're doing, who you're with, etc... YOU know that you're just going out with some girlfriends, but he doesn't really need to know that. If he was so concerned about your social life, he'd still be apart of it right I'd be sparse with the details. I'm sure he's got a cell phone number for you if there is an emergency. Be cheerful, have a good time and see where it all leads.
I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you!! My brain is a bit mush, but I am going to try and catch up on threads.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I'd be sparse with the details. I'm sure he's got a cell phone number for you if there is an emergency. Be cheerful, have a good time and see where it all leads.