Calling all experts, non experts...serious opinion

[kikifree]

THanks for the compliment, Upside.

I just feel good right now. No matter what happens, I know I will be taken care of.

[Grace_O]

Glad to hear it went well (at least as well as it could). I like your strength.

Yes, you will be taken care of esp by you.

HUGS

[kikifree]

Thanks Grace. I realized after I have let myself be in pain /affected by H ..it was time for me to take control instead of my thoughts.

It was time for a change . I had to let go and GROW!

Im telling you , after you get past the PAST , you are free.

I say it was a few months ago. The change was painful but worth every bit of it.

H texted last night to tell me he was bringing the dogs home this week.

I already knew that.

i just responded Ok, Im sure they are happy.

[peacetoday]

Kiki
Hi Just seeing how things are today for you
hope you had a nice weekend
peace

[bright 2 morro]

Kiki,
I just got caught up on your thread. I am so proud of you for sticking your ground. I wish I could do something like that. For me i think I get caught up in throwing away the money to the lawyers. These things can get very expensive.

We are already having financial problems because my H moved out and feels like he can buy something expensive everyweek.

I am so afraid to end up broke and not be able to get a house on my own when our house sells.

But good for you for what you did.

B2m

[kikifree]

Hi Peace..Im doing good. Thanks for poppong by.

Bright, I was afraid..but now I choose not to be. THe "unknown" is scary but I had to stop my emotions from being so dependent on this situation.

I realized I was only one person before we were together and I had to re-learn that.

Then, even now, I had to stop trying to make sure H was ok and start making sure I was ok.

It is a ride.

Im a week or so I am going to the same city where the inlaws live. D7 is coming with me.

i texted H awhile ago, if it would be ok if we went and saw them. It has been a loooong time since D7 has seen them.

No answer..

I haven't heard from him.

Interesting...

[kikifree]

So H called and told me he is going t ocall his parents and let me know.

He asked me why was I going up there and Ill be bored.

No, I wont . It will be peaceful and serene!!!

[mymonkeybug]

True reconnection will not begin to take place until the near the end of withdrawal--going into acceptance. The spouse in crisis will begin to disassociate himself/herself w/the replay antics, i.e., new friends, drinking, etc. They will begin to dress and act like the people you once knew. They will begin to smile a bit and look you in the eyes as well. This will not occur all at once--it's very gradual. He/she will begin to gradually take an interest in their surroundings. They will start to make real contact w/co-workers, old friends (prior to mlc) and begin to take up the hobbies that they once loved. The contact w/their respective parents and family will be noticeable first. Contact w/them will become more frequent and slowly they will begin to take more interest in their children. Their interest in the pets will begin again. As they start to move deeper into the reconnection, they will then begin to take notice of their former homes and you, the spouse will be the last. I have never understood it, but we are the first in the disconnection an the last for reconnection. The mlcer may find excuses to come to your home or meet w/you to discuss trivial issues. Generally they come around to see where your head and heart are at regarding them. They may even sit down w/you and toss out feelers about some of the things that they have done just to test your reactions. They may even ask you if you have someone new your life.

This paragraph you are quoting...where is it from, a book or a website or somewhere? I would to read more. Thanks!!!

[Maya44]

I believe it's from DR monkey.

[mymonkeybug]

I have DR. I don't remember that part but look slike I need to reread DR tonight. Thanks!