I just can't believe that I make the smallest requests, such as needing S's SSN, and she can't help in any way shape or form, but she needs something larger and I don't do it, then she is snappy. Actually I can't believe she has the gal to call and ask period.
Welcome to my world - I usually don't ask much of my W, because I figure I'm better off if I figure it all out on my own. On the other hand, whenever something bad happens, or she needs help, she'll come to me. Last time I tried to 'brush her off' and see if she'd deal with it on her own, it blew up pretty spectacularly in my face. I was able to fumble my way through and level things out again, but it was a mess for a day or two.
Of course, now my W who told me a while ago she doesn't want me around, doesn't trust me and doesn't want to deal with my crap has taken on the job of decorating my house. Not the "You should buy these curtains" thing. She actually went there and started painting while I was out. I didn't mind - She did a good job, and I hate painting
You just have to let as much of it go as you can, or it'll drive you insane.
hey atlas read some of your sitch & can identify with your feelings. I am also getting out & having fun,sobriety rules, when im out around other single people my age & interacting in a healthy fun loving way I feel alive & just dont feel that way around my wife, at least not anymore. so on days like today, when i am missing her i have to ask, what part of the dishonest, cheating, disfuntional relationship do i miss? stay positive & best of luck to you
why im here http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1247860&page=1#Post1247860 me 47 w 44 m 20 s 18 s 14 s 8 bomb dropped 10/8/07
Well the M will be over shortly. She signed the settlment agreement and turned it into the court last week. I couln't feel more relieved at this point.
We just got into it on TM, after her call, she TM that I needed to bring by the child support after work. I told her no, and said she could come get it or get it tomorrow. She started cussing me out, so I said well now only half will be ready tomorrow, to which she stated I'm court ordered to pay it. To which I replied half on the 5th, half on the 20th. Shut her up real fast.
Then I said just sign the settlment you don't deserve me, and I'm sick of your games. To which she informed me that she already did, and then called me a bunch of things. She quit when I said no reason to be upset you got what you asked for, so now move on with your life.
I just feel good to be done. Hate that it is so confrontational, but she doesn't get to use me anymore.
Wow what a turn since the last time I read your thread. Sounds like you're on a wild ride. Good luck. Glad to see you feeling strong and empowered.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
I just feel good to be done. Hate that it is so confrontational, but she doesn't get to use me anymore.
I too am anxiously waiting for it all to be done. At least my W is not so confontational - she is just a sad wreck right now.
After the D is official, just try to turn the other cheek sometimes. I hate to tell you this, but you probably have many more confrontations with her over the years. Anything bad that happens to her, she probably will blame it on you. Just prepare yourself to expect it and stay happy. Who knows, maybe you and your next special lady might get some chuckles from how your ex-W acts.
Well it sure explains the silence since the 28th, and also why she didn't show for the 30 days, etc...Boy she called me a lot of names on the TM after I said she didn't deserve me, but she signed the settlment that I proposed so I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.
So its done,,, I await the day of mine to be done, i think it will be a huge monkey off my back, but i dont deal with the crap i did a month ago after our first day in court and my attorney pounded the W and her attorney i think she knows its not going her way. Still waiting for you to visit dallas....
Me 35 W 26 S 3 D 10 months I have custody Bomb 11/9/07 W PA 10/07 ended 2/08 Removed W from house 11/16/07 I filed in Nov. D put on hold http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1268484&page=6&fpart=16
As odd as this sounds, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest and I can breath. I physically feel this way. Mentally, I'm really excited about the future. I didn't do much changes to the house because I didn't know if I could keep it, so I'm planning on some color schemes a kitchen table and some small things I can afford right now. I'm going to start fixing some things that are broken. I didn't bother before since I thought I would lose it.
I think I have managed a way to figure out how to bring some more income in, so that I won't need a roommate. That will be nice with S here so much. I don't want to worry about him touching or breaking someone elses stuff, plus if they are bringing women home with him here, etc...
The future is so bright, I think I gotta wear shades. I don't know how to explain it, I just feel like a caged bird set free. I'm sure I'm still dealing with the shock of it all, and there will be down days, but ya know, life is what you make of it. I know there are good women out there, you have all shown me this, and I thank you females for showing me such great examples.
For those of you guys that are out there, you can be a man, and still cry and hurt. Confide with the guys, I think that is important. Hug someone everyday, tell those around you that you love them and care for them in thought, word, and action. Don't be afraid to show some emotion.
All I can say is I'm so grateful for what I do have. I have an amazing life and it is only going to get better. I feel horrible for the hell that my W now must go through. She is truly distraught, and even after I said to not be upset over her decision she got what she wanted, her freedom, she gave me a go to he((. Oh well, guess we can't be friends for a while. Someday this will change. That will be nice.
Well I'm on the market. Just kidding, I'm just going to go have fun. I plan on staying away from purposeful dating for a while, i.e. joining websites etc...I'm just going to go out and enjoy friends, smile and see where life goes. That is so cool to think that I don't have any clue what tomorrow will bring.
I'll keep in touch with a close friends here, and post a little when I can, but it is time to ramp it down and wrap up the D. I'm going to still try and help her, she is the mother of my child, but she gets no more special treatment then that. Lots of boundaries need to be set now.
I'm truly grateful for all of you. Without this site, Micheal's words, your encouragement, and this BB, I would be in the darkest place. I went through that hole and never want to see it again. Alcohol and depression had a huge grip on me. I wasn't a great DB'er, but in the end I did it all for me, and I'm happy. So for that I thank you.
I also want to say, it's not I'm giving up or throwing in the towel. I'm just going to be me, and whatever comes my way R wise will only be that much greater. Maybe one day she pops back into my life, maybe not. For now I wouldn't want it. But I am and will continue to be a better person for having gone through this. I have learned so much. Women truly are a gift from God for us men. They can give you that feeling that makes you float on air, but they can rip it away just as fast if you don't cherish just how wonderful they truly are. Be kind to the ladies in your life, notice the little things, the hair the kind words, comfort them and be their rock. They will lift you higher then you ever thought possible.
