Olive..... I too am sorry that this is what your H has decided. You and your DD deserve much more then what your H right now is capable of giving to the the two of you. I hope that he wakes up and sees the OW for who she really is.... From what I recall she has cheated before on her XH....I guess your H is hoping for her to do the same to him.
Sitting where I am the choice was obvious. Your H has made the wrong one.
FYI....Living under the same roof during the D process is hard....I just lived it. My family was right there but we were never a family. Every morning that I left for work I wanted to kiss my W's forhead like I did for years....I didn't because it did not feel appropriate... I guess why it was so hard everything that I wanted and hoped for was right there yet that hope was unobtainable.
Take care of yourself...Keep be a great mom.... Scott
Olive... I know its hard but dont drive yourself crazy. My W filed for the Big D a few months after we 1st separated 2 years ago. A few months into it, she called the D off.
I know exactly how you feel about the finality of it but trust me, its not over. Keep on DBing, even if it doesnt work out, you will grow from this experience and eventually meet someone WAAAYYYYY better than your husband.
Thinking of you.
Hurtin: 32 WAW: 30 D: 8 Bomb: 10/05 Sep: 12/05 Back together 8/07 Bomb (OM): 11/07 Filed for D (me): 12/07
LO, How sadly ironic that your "bfz4ever" thread locks up just when he files for D. I agree with Scott, she's cheated before, and if your H isn't thinking about that he's not only blinded by fog, but blind period (and deaf and dumb)!
Hurtins been there, too so definitely keep on DBing! Hang tough!
LO, {{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you. It must be very emotionally draining for you right now. Take care of yourself and take the time to be by yourself. Yes, it is his choice to file. Like others and your H said, he is still too confused. He is using this to get rid of his own pain. He thinks by filing, the pain will go away because all he now has to do is follow the paperwork. It is his choice but you have your own choice. Detach and be a great person/mother, without H. Don't give up yet.
Brace yourself for more rollercoaster ride. I am sure you already guess your H will still flip flop. He can do all the flipflopping as he wants. You can be the constant here, a great person, a great mom. H will see that. If he does not, or he does not appreciate, that's his loss. You will be a better person for all others.
You knew this was coming and yet it is still a shock - you have been waiting for the other shoe to drop for months now - for way to long...My heart hurts for you but it also feels how it must be to get out of that limbo hell. You can finally start making real plans and either your H can wake up, get his head out of his a$$ and stop the process or you can get on with your life.
You are a wonderful woman and a great mom - you deserve to be at peace and truly happy!!!
I will email you later!
Hang in there!
HB
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
