Well, if I would have blindly gone on my Spring Break trip I would have, without a doubt, come home to an empty house. A lot worse. Divorce will be final this week, cost me $5800. Again, financially it could have been a lot worse. Just counting my blessings I guess.
Me: 47 Pet: Kind labrador, 12 years old. Best Friend anybody could have.
Divorce final 12/07/07 No Kids
It is no longer about the divorce or about her. It's all about how I live my life now.
Me: 48 Ex-W: 45 M: Nov '96, together since Oct 93 Bomb: on 10-yr anni - Nov '06 OM Separated: mid-Feb '07 Divorced mid-July '08 One daughter - 28 XW living w/OM
I'm curious how many spouses that push for the divorce, really regret it after it is all said and done.
I hope not cos I just filed last week
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
Not sure that they do, until the fog lifts and they realize that the new and fun have turned into the everyday or it is more critical like the OP becomes abusive or controlling, then the past relationship looks great and the regret set in. As long as things are good over the fence, no regret. Things not so good, regret.
The problem is, even though they regret, do they really want you back or are they retreating to familiar ground for safety and will venture back out once the feeling strikes them.
Me 38 Her 31 Daughter 3
Dated 5 yrs Married 7 PA Bomb 7/26/07 Sep 1 9/1/07 Sep 2 1/5/08
I'm curious how many spouses that push for the divorce, really regret it after it is all said and done.
AKmusic,
My WAG (Wild A$$ Guess) is that the majority of the WASs (80%-90%) seriously regret pushing for the D. However, I would venture another WAG (Wild A$$ Guess) is 25% of the previously mentioned 80%-90% actually act on their regret; the remainder of those who regret and do not act have pride issues..... Just my 10 cents....
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
My h and I have been divorced for a month now and it sucks to say the least. I pushed this divorce and I now know it was the worst mistake I made. My H now wants his space and time to figure out what makes him happy. I am trying but it gets difficult sometimes. We still communicate and remain friends at the moment. I do not know how to be friends with someone you were married to for 10 years. I Hope that by using hints in DR I will be able to rekindle this relationship. He is the love of my life and unfortuantely we had to hit the bottome to realize that
Mz33,
If you go back and read my posts, you will see I find DBing as a "suggested" course of action. What I am going to personally suggest applies to your sitch because you left.....
1. Tell your H you made a huge mistake in filing for a D.
2. Tell him exactly how you feel about him.
3. Ask him what you can do to make amends.
4. Tell him how you are going to prevent this in the future.
5. Figure out what you need to do to work on yourself. I would strongly suggest counseling. Tell him your plan of action.
6. Be patient with him.
I personally would NOT sit back... He NEEDS to know EXACTLY how you feel without feeling pressure... I think loving reassurance without pressure is what he needs now...
Take Care,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
I'm curious how many spouses that push for the divorce, really regret it after it is all said and done.
AKmusic,
My WAG (Wild A$$ Guess) is that the majority of the WASs (80%-90%) seriously regret pushing for the D. However, I would venture another WAG (Wild A$$ Guess) is 25% of the previously mentioned 80%-90% actually act on their regret; the remainder of those who regret and do not act have pride issues..... Just my 10 cents....
RMG
I buy that one too, RMG. My STBXW is stubborn and bull-headed. She would never fess up until many years later if she felt regret that she D me.
I'm curious how many spouses that push for the divorce, really regret it after it is all said and done.
AKmusic,
My WAG (Wild A$$ Guess) is that the majority of the WASs (80%-90%) seriously regret pushing for the D. However, I would venture another WAG (Wild A$$ Guess) is 25% of the previously mentioned 80%-90% actually act on their regret; the remainder of those who regret and do not act have pride issues..... Just my 10 cents....
RMG
I buy that one too, RMG. My STBXW is stubborn and bull-headed. She would never fess up until many years later if she felt regret that she D me.
God bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
The really idiotic aspect of this is when you tell someone they are making a HUGE MISTAKE and they still proceed! I am 100% certain my dumb a$$ ex-WAW looked back and thought WTF? after she found I was dating post D. Yet, she could not back track.......
Go with God,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
And Michele says that about 20% of couples that divorce, remarry each other! It would be very beneficial to talk to a DB coaches, as they are experts in helping couples 'reconnect'. Iwould be happy to talk to you about it further. Take care!
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
