Has anyone asked their spouse to read The No-So-Great Escape chapter from DR? What happened? I'd like to ask my husband to read it, but think he'll interpret it as pressure.
Yep, unless he's interested in reading that type of stuff it will be pressure. Plus, he will resist every step of the way and won't get the same ideas from it that you think he should get. Basically people see the things they want to see. You trying to make him see certain things usually have the opposite effect. They just become more closed off. I would only do it if he is open to the idea... Not the here read this, see what that says, what you are thinking is wrong and you need to do what this book says.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
Trying to get them to read something is like trying to get them to see it your way and is considered pursuing and will make them see in their head why they don't want to be with you right now, so I would not do it.
You need to try to detach and do your own thing and be mysterious it does work.
Reread DR if you have to as many times as you have to.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Thanks for the feedback, everyone - it would be great if my H could just read something and realize that splitting up is not the answer, but I guess it's not going to be that easy...
Sorry, girl, not that easy at all. Back during my D sitch, I got H to go to 2 counseling sessions, but he ended up saying that the books & C were a bunch of crap -- that his "lifelong partner should know these things" and that we should be able to just figure it out on our own, etc., etc.
You haven't given any of us the opportunity to comment on your entire sitch. Maybe you should start w/ that -- actually post your sitch & let us give you some advice on that.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
I did post the whole mess a while back in the Newcomers section, but I don't have a clue how to give you the link to it. I'll try to figure it out and get back to you, because I really would like the perspective of others.
