New to Piercing...I mean Piecing, not sure I feel comfortable posting here fully just yet, like I might jinx it.
Be that as it may,
Jen is right. You are not ok with the Seperation plans. Why not tell her that next time she brings it up.
Your changes that you are making, your also pointing out how you are hoping that she sees them or wondering what her reactions are to them, if the changes are not for you they aren't going to last. And then rinse and repeat this process, if those changes are the reasons she doesn't leave.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
jen & jack, thank you for the insight. right now I think it may be good for me to back off a little and let the situation come to me.
My words for today are-God works in mysterious ways. I'm going to take the fact that the w's cellphone died today as a sign that w doesn't need to go looking for her (potential)OM. in my earlier conversation with MIL, she revealed that W is no longer welcome in her house. MIL also told me what was going on w/potential OM, the guy is more of a strip bar predator than anything else, not exactly what the W claims to be looking for, it seems he has changed much for the worse since 1 1/2 yrs ago when the w last saw him(no contact has been made yet AFAIK, but W appears to be obsessed. My prayers are that if W does work up the guts to contact him, she will see him for what he really is and learn her lesson. earlier today went out and had lunch together and did grocery shopping together with d's. at least there's some functionality left in this family! W is acting funny again, my feeling is things just aren't going the way she had planned and seems to be lost in thought again.
just_plain_hopeful
Anywhere's walking distance when you have enough time
To give up when all is against you is a sign of being weak and cowardly. --Chief Eagle, Teton Sioux
I have watched my wife exhibit all these strange emotions, but it turns out there is OM involved. When a woman is stuck with you, but wants to be with someone else, it drives them crazy.
Before she leaves home, get a PI and follow her. It will cost alot of money, but if there is someone else..then you will know why things are so silly at home. And, you will have your ammo when you head to court. If she leaves, make sure it is against your wishes and that it is documented. Claim she abandoned you and your family...also might be very useful. Unfortunately, you need to play hardball when you least feel like it.
NCP, I don't feel the same way, doing that would(in my case) pretty much put things down the wrong path. I prefer working on things from the inside and prevent any such thing from occurring. in the event of a D(in my case), it wouldn't change much of anything. right now I have too many positive signs to even think about such a thing.
just_plain_hopeful
Anywhere's walking distance when you have enough time
To give up when all is against you is a sign of being weak and cowardly. --Chief Eagle, Teton Sioux
meditated with W last night, spent awhile outside just looking up at the sky. things overall went really well, seems to have opened some doors and W is seeing me a little differently now. I also am more at peace and see things way clearer than before. My job from here on out is going to be prying W from her depressed state, so far so good. I set out this morning with a goal of getting her woke up before noon. I made enough noise to get her out of bed by 10:30-she was even in a pleasant mood. It's just a small step towards getting her back to her normal self. I've just been having fun for myself, re-painted the bedroom today with a brighter, happier color(the previous W picked out 2 wks ago and was dark and depressing. I had fun with it, yes drinking a beer at 10 am while painting the bedroom is strange, but it's not the old me and it made me happy to just chill and do it. W was questioning whether I had lost my mind(oh well), but I was enjoying myself.
just_plain_hopeful
Anywhere's walking distance when you have enough time
To give up when all is against you is a sign of being weak and cowardly. --Chief Eagle, Teton Sioux
Hey JPH glad to hear it. Yep - standing back and letting things just be is hard but worth it. Time moves at a different pace for the LBS and the WAS. Last night H and I were discussing what to do for New Year. He said the years seem to be flying past, but for me 2005-2007 has seemed so LONG.
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
