I keep having these "my husband is cheating on me" dreams. It's always a different scenario but I have them frequently. Does this mean I'm truly crazy??!!
H is disgusted with himself and says he isn't the person he wants to be. I wonder if the ow feels some self-loathing or if she is happy as a clam that her numerous affairs have finally destroyed her family. In my last post, ROOT mentioned that they frequently end up disgusted w/op. I always think about it from my h side but I wonder if ow will ever feel taht way or if she is so "in awe" (her words) of my h.
A long time ago someone (I think Whatisis) posted that maybe we should think about how miserable our spouses are.. It isn't such a great world to live in ... carrying on in an affair. And, once the fog starts to lift even just a tiny bit.. they are hit with these terrible feelings of guilt and self-loathing. Sooo much better to be on the high road no matter how bumpy!
In the meantime, I get these weird "checking in" phone calls all the time. Like.. "I'm leaving such and such a place and am on my way home." If he were truly willing to cut off all contact then those efforts would be great. Right now, it seems like another cover up..
Haha, thay may seem crazy if we were not all on this board. Now that's probably peanuts compared to all the other stories. Now seriously, it is probably your emotions overloaded to the dreams. I won't worry about it. Hang in there
We're all crazy. I actually had a dream either last night or the night before (I can't ever keep track what day it is!!) that I was on a dating web site and actually looking to see what "guys" were available and figuring out which ones I was going to respond to! what the heck!!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Olive, I have had the cheating dreams too. I even had one about an EA and the woman's name was Charlotte. When I asked my H about it he told me used to work with a woman named Charlotte!!! I had never heard her name before, so that was REALLY WERID. Fortunately it was only an EA in the dream so I wasn't angry with my husband... as if I'm going to get mad at him about my DREAMS of him cheating!!!
But I know how sad they can make you feel. I agree with Sophie that the dreams are our way of going through the feelings and dealing with it. I think they are probably part of the healing process we need to go through.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Olive, On my drive home today, I was thinking about you and your sitch. Yours always seemed to be one of the most promising because your H shows regret, says ILY, you are still living together, etc. However, since OW is now D, you are playing in a whole different ballgame. I can vouch and I bet Yoyo can too that when the OW is D or single, they will fight 'til the death. They don't have anything to lose and they don't care about anyone but themselves. I'm afraid that she will play every card in the deck to get at your H. The OW in my case did. They are evil and conniving. Please for your sake, detach and try to stay strong...things will work out one way or another.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Hope - From day one of him telling me, ow started pulling out all the stops. I know her SIL and so know of some major lies she told my H. Of course, he wouldn't believe me so I just stopped trying to reason with him.
This ow has always made it obvious that she will play 'til death. In the very beginning of the A (before I even knew!), her H said he would forgive her and wanted to work on their M. OW said no.. she wouldn't stop the A. She filed within two weeks of H telling me about the A. That was one week after she told everyone she had cancer (she didn't and then tried to back-pedal and say the Dr. "mispoke" himself). H believes it all!!
Yup.. conniving, evil women who don't care who gets hurt in the process just as long as they win the man.. I always wonder why, when they are single, do they not just find themselves a single man???!!!!
