No strippers. Just dinner with my three girls. It was really a nice time - so I got the love and joy part right. You gotta love it when you go to a nice restaurant and your kids get totally excited about ordering a hot dog and cheeseburger. Hope you're doing well. I'm in Chicago tonight for work. Had a great dinner. Still think about the ex, but I'm keeping busy.
Good for you, P42! Nothing better than hangin' with the kids, in my book.
Saturday will mark the one year mark for me - the anniversary of the "bomb" that started my own saga...I'm happy, confident, sober, a better dad, and looking forward to 2008! Keep the karma bank full, buddy...
Me - 46 She - 36 Daughter - 10 Married 10 yrs 1st Bomb Date 12/17/06 (Merry Christmas!) D Bomb in January (Happy New Year!) Every other week custody of D10 She has OM who helped her walk away Divorced 07/05/07
OK. So, I'm trying to help D11 with her homework tonight and I could tell something was really bothering her (she was with ex most of last week until today). I asked what was wrong and it eventually came out that ex was not helping her at all with homework last night. She also says that OM was over for dinner with all the relatives (her brother, parents, cousins, etc.) Both of my daughters had specifically requested that he not come over for dinner. Then they all go out cross country skiing. If it's is possible for two young girls to be really pissed, they were.
This situation is beyond messed up and I basically don't care what ex does anymore, but it just seems to be extremely hard on the kids. I told D11 tonight that it is none of my business what ex and her new friend do. I just want to know what is bothering her so I can help her deal with it. It's so screwed up. She does seem like she is trying to force this new relationship on the kids and (I'm assuming) her family. She is very close with her parents and they were a big part of our marital problems.
I don't need to understand her, but I'm still trying to understand the situation a little better. I've read in the MLC postings that the severe MLCer can't look their spouse in the eyes. My sitch is even a little worse in that there is absolutely no contact. Every time she crosses a boundary (a legitimate one) with the kids, I remind her and the contact grows even more infrequent. I've also read that they will eventually have an "awakening". Don't know when or if this will happen. It just seems so odd that ex is almost the complete opposite of what she was pre D/separation.
Apart from that, my life is improving. The GAL thing is getting better. Lots of trips to the gym. Lots of home remodeling.
Me - 46 She - 36 Daughter - 10 Married 10 yrs 1st Bomb Date 12/17/06 (Merry Christmas!) D Bomb in January (Happy New Year!) Every other week custody of D10 She has OM who helped her walk away Divorced 07/05/07
Ex called my kids cell phone that I keep at my house Friday night at about 5:30PM. I didn't answer, but thought it strange that she would call when she knows I'm home. She said she just called to wish the girls a Merry Christmas, but she only talked to D9 and not D11 or D5. Strange. I also just received an email from one of her friends who hasn't had any contact with me in months. She wrote to wish me a Merry Christmas. Also strange. I wrote her back and told her that things in my life were going very well.
Celebrated Christmas over the weekend with my girls, my parents and younger brother. It was nice.
Hope you had a good Christmas! Sounds like you did.
Mine was great! Had my daughter from Sunday on; the most drama-free Christmas in recent memory...it was just one year ago that I was a zombie - the WAW dropped our bomb Dec 17th, 2006.
I really focused on my kid and had a wonderful time...once or twice I wished I had a spouse to help out, but it was all good. My kid had fun and that's what counts.
Hey P - what are your resolutions for 2008?
Me - 46 She - 36 Daughter - 10 Married 10 yrs 1st Bomb Date 12/17/06 (Merry Christmas!) D Bomb in January (Happy New Year!) Every other week custody of D10 She has OM who helped her walk away Divorced 07/05/07
Hello, Yes there is hope, my husband and I seperated after nearly nine years of marriage. After 7 months of seperation we divorced. Our divorce was final March of 05, I am happy to say that after all that had happened,(He was the one that left and yes, he did have an affair), On Thanksgiving Day of 06 we remarried. It was one of the happiest Days of our lives.
Although we remarried, we still had several issues to workout and over come. It wasn't easy but with love and support, weekly counseling sessions we were able to get through things.
We celebrated our one year anniversary this past Thanksgiving and we couldn't be happier. We both have matured and realize what it takes to make our marriage work.
Marriages quit working when the people involved quit working.
No matter what happens, keep applying the divorce busting concepts and heal yourself.
If you can't forgive and make changes within yourself, then your faults and your heartbreak will follow you into every new realtionship you have.
Remember you can't change people, the only person you can change is yourself.
Alannadeann, did either one of you started looking around and dating after the D? I'm still hoping my W will come back, but I don't have much hope if she starts to see someone seriously....
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
I guess I have been working on my New Year's resolutions in a round about way. Haven't put anything down on paper. That would be a good idea. I am definitely in much better shape and would like to continue that throughout the year. Been getting to the gym just about every day. Feel great. Kids are doing well.
Still haven't had any real-time communication with WAW since the D on 8/24/07. She seems to be making some veiled attempts to communicate, but I'm remaining strong and avoiding her for the time being. Still love her - though I have detached.
