Need Help/ Suggestions - Part 2

[NoDirection]

Rain,
It has to get better... Now she is on a kick of not leaving Jack for anything. This weekend she took him down to San Diego to celebrate one of her friend's birthday. I get a text message from a friend that lives down there asking if I am at a bar with her.

I am leaving a message with my lawyer to have the seperation date pushed back as far as possible. This need to end and end now, for everyone's sake.

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, I agree, this has gone on long enough. Stay strong, my friend. God will see you through all of this. I'll keep you in my prayers, and I'll be checking back with you, I am here for you. Take care.

[NoDirection]

I do appreciate the support. I just want to move on and get this over with. I want to be able to spend time with my son without her having any influence.

I want the hurt to go away... I know that will be with me for some time but having my son around at least dulls it and now she is trying to take that away.

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, I feel for you, man. it is very hard, when kids are involved, and one parent, just wants to use them, to hurt the other, as you know, I know that all too well.

The only advice I can give you, is what you already know, be the best dad that you can be, and fight for your son, in every way. Keep praying that God will heal the pain, it does take some time, but it will come. Take care.

[NoDirection]

Rain,
I know the pain will subaside. I also know that what my XW is trying to do is only making our S want to be with me more. When he wakes up from a nap or in the morning he calls for me. When they get home and I am already there he screams for me and I can hear him from outside. If we are doing something together and she comes into the room he screams at her "Momma, No!". even on Christmas Eve, she came out from the bedroom in the morning and wishes our S a good morning and he promptly walks uip to her and kicks her in the shin. We do have a strong bond, but it is the time away that hurts. In the long run I am not afraid of what we will have as a relationship. I just miss him and want to see him somewhat regularly...

[Handful of Rain]

I know, NoDirection, and the R between you and your son will strengthen, even more, It amazes me, how some people believe that kids, can't see the truth, or they will be just fine with everything. Ha, that is the biggest crock, I've ever heard.

Kids can sense when they are loved, and being treated right. On that note, they also know when they are being used as pawns just to inflict pain on one parent. I know your son is young, but even at such a young age, to hold so much aggression toward your STBX, should really be a wake up call to her, but as we both know, they (the STBX's) live in their own twisted world. I say let them. But don't take our kids down with them. I will not, and I know you will not either. Take care

[NoDirection]

They know what is going on from a real early age. His reaction to when she comes into a room and if he knows I am around, reassures me that we will make it through all of this.

One thing that I have learned through all of this is that everything should be done out of love. Whether it be tough love or the true form, everything shoud be done with that in mind.

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, That is so true. Take care.

[NoDirection]

As tough as it is some times, that is what it should come down to. For my STBX, it is tough love, I want her to get the point of I am no longer here to accomodate to every need she has. She agreed to the D, she can start taking care of her own business.

As for our S, it is the example of real love that I want to show him in an attempt that he becomes that type of man as he gets older. All it is doing right now is determining who the person is he wants to be around.

[NoDirection]

Have some good news and bad news. The bad news first, to get it out of the way, I met with my lawyer on Wednesday and she made mention to me that the divorce process is going to take longer than six months. For the good news, she is going to file a temporary custody order basically assuring me that I can see my son 50% of the week.

That will definitely help me get through all of this...