What an elegant and gracious and wise woman you are. It is sad, isn't it - but so great you have found your compassion for your H and appreciation for what has happened, even so. It has been hard to love him and be compassionate, I know! He has been so difficult to love this past year +. You are a beautiful and loving being. Even if your H doesn't know it, he is still lucky to have you in his life.
I also read your post about your new L and the path you are taking in honoring yourself financially with what you are entitled to in the D. I am so proud of you. I know you started out so disenheartened, you just wanted to get away from the madness and "didn't want a thing" from your H. However, you deserve some equity in your financial balance sheet, and I am glad you have decided to take a stand in this regard, and that you have a good L who will take care of you. After all, your H in his delusions has an expectation that you are a "bad guy", and it is not healthy for you to be bullied into being submissive at your own expense, in order to rectify that. What is fair and equitable, but no less. I am proud of you.
I am thinking of you and sending my love. Thank you for being here.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
You must already know that your post will not be received by all readers the same way. In reality, not one of them is likely to read it the same way today they would have two years ago, or two years from now maybe. It did clearly come from deep down in your soul, as does all that you share here.
There was a time I would have rejecte the notions in your post. There was a time when I would have said the only favor the X forgot to do was put a bullet in my head to end the pain.
This is the time we all exist in. Yesterday is fading and tomorrow will amaze us, if we let it. And in this moment, you have given many of us something to think about, something to admit to ourselves, and something to be thankful for ... you.
Thank you for externalizing your deepest realizations in a way many of us can easily relate. I do hope this view and concept become your reality, your release, and your future to choose.
It seems to be the gradual understanding that many here slowly move toward, and often struggle to understand along the way.
Fantastic post. It can take a while to see, but every day is a gift. I can say with no uncertainty that my ex leaving me woke me up and I have taken advantage of the opportunity I was given. Many days, I never knew and I had many struggles. I was on a path of self-destruction and now I never have to live like that again.
Thanks for that post. I have grown so much in the last three months. The lights are coming "on" after a long time of denial about myself and cluelessness about many things in life, and that, despite the pain of separation, feels good. I am a better person than I was three months ago, no matter what happens to my WAW and me. She's not talked divorce, but she's not yet indicated any desire to reconcile or work together. She's off working on her issues, and I'm working on mine. I remain committed to the marriage, however and will hope (but not naively so) that we can rescript the relationship on better ground.
Despite the pain we all suffer, the universe does find ways to lift us up if we are open to it.
