I am sure your Dad means well, but I just can't abide by his advice either. Doing those things would not make anyone happier. I am so sorry for your loss and I am glad you had some things on your positive list. Yiu are an awesome mom, a caring coworker and friend. I am sorry for the loss of your boss. What awful pressure for everyone involved.
KS Chick mentioned moving in with another woman. I may do the same thing. Take in a roommate or border to kepp up with house payments. Separation is devastating to the finances. How blind they are to put the children through one more upheaval.
About your Dad's work- I also feel pressure to leave a job I need for a job at my Mom's work which I would hate especially since that place is the scene where my H is philandering.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
Do you by any chance get CS from S14's father.... if not, what are the odds of filing to get back support... maybe putting that working for an attorney to some personal use?????
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
The scrap book is on hold because I couldn't spend the money to get more paper and pages. I was up to the pics where we moved into the house. The pictures get real scarce after that. Another reason to leave it the hell alone. Lives really do play out in pictures. And a lack thereof. It is still so damn stunning to see the effects of MLC...
Bio "father" of S14 never has been and never will be an option.
Believe me, all these options have been looked at over and over again and the end result is that I am screwed.
I don't expect ya'll to come up with the answers or options. I have looked at all of the options available to me.
just making an attempt to offer positive thoughts and maybe suggestions your way.
I understand that it is extremely tough on you.... hell it is for us all. Venting is good for a little internal cleansing.
It seems tho... that in the last few posts that have been in response to me have been just a little cranky.... don't know why , but whatever...... I've only tried to be friendly.
Here's hoping things get better on your end....
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Time for James 1:2. I don't know how many hundreds of times I read that when I was in the darkness, and it always gave me hope.
It may not be the best idea to just pack up your stuff and try to move home. But maybe a comprimise on your dad's idea, take the first step. Be honest with your H. Open up to him, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and ask of him what you want. You may get shot down a hundred times before he begins to believe it is truly what you want, and not just a whim because you're in trouble.
I know you've been at this for a long time, but I've still got you beat by a long time. W and I were separated for FOUR years remember? Eventually things just clicked, snapped into place. As bad as things are, you've got to keep fighting. Wipe the blood off your face, and get back into the ring. Fear, despair, anxiety, are the tools of that lying dog to hold you back, keep you down. Look the enemy square in the eye and banish him from your heart, from your mind, from your home, and from all things that are part of you. May fear NEVER shackle you.
You may see this struggle as one for money, for relationship, for worldly possesions, but it is much deeper, much more spiritual than that. We both know this is a battle for the soul, for eternity. Courage, strength, and faith, these are from God. You have a fire in you that burns strong and fierce. Use that fire to FIGHT!!!
You are tired, your are down, you are low. It's very understandable given your circumstances. It's hard to have energy for anything. Honestly I'm glad that it's not ME in your position. I don't know if I could handle it any better than you have.
I want you to pick up the phone and call your H. I want you to tell him you love him, you need him, and you want him. I want you to apologize, again, for all that you did to hurt him, and that you'll NEVER do it again. Do this, and expect nothing back from him. Do it over and over again until the ice block crumbles.
God Bless You AmyC.
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
I don't think he will believe I really love him and want to come back home until he sees me standing on my own and STILL loving HIM.
Since I can't stand on my own, he'd never believe that wasn't the main factor for me wanting to come back.
Quote:
I want you to pick up the phone and call your H. I want you to tell him you love him, you need him, and you want him. I want you to apologize, again, for all that you did to hurt him, and that you'll NEVER do it again. Do this, and expect nothing back from him. Do it over and over again until the ice block crumbles.
No more. I broke first. Out of sight, out of mind.
I'm about to ask for my daughter every other weekend. The ones I can afford to take care of her anyway.
