There is a RetrouV scheduled this month close to me. Do I ask the W to go even though she says she has no desire to work on the M? I wouldn't want to pass this one up since the next one isn't until October. But then i run the risk of pushing her away if she doesn't want to work. And from what i read, RetrouV forces you to work on your M.
Well if she is saying she has no desire to work on marriage, I would probably wait till the next one. I know it sucks, I asked my wife as their is one here in a couple weeks, she seemed to back away a little bit but her answer was she is not ready for that yet. So I shall wait till next time, at least it wasn't a flat out no.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
We're going to the beach tomorrow. It was already planned before the S. Her Mom, Dad, and Brother are going along with us and the kids. Her parents don't approve of what she is doing. It makes her want to do it all the more because she is tired of seeking their approval for everything she wants to do. So, this should be a fun trip. Of course I will put on the happy face and continue to be validate.
The trip was wonderful. Although there are problems between us, yesterday seemed like there was nothing at all wrong. No tension. She even made a comment about investing in some wave boards for the kids next time we come back to the beach. I said that sounds like a plan. She was smiling and joking. It was just a good trip.
I was ear hustling on the way back last night while she was talking to her friend. She said something about she was just letting it go. I am not sure what that means, but they were talking about what she was going through. We'll see. I reached my goal of her smiling at me. My next goal is to stop her from moving upstairs. Then get her to ask me to come back to the bedroom.
How do you stop someone from feeling trapped in a marriage? She feels trapped. She is not able to leave when she wants to. And although I want to save my marriage, how can someone that feels trapped be happy? I have been DBing, and we have been getting along, but I know she is going along as to keep the peace until she can file.
She wants to see other people. But she no longer wants to do it as long as we are married. How do you fight that?
How do you stop someone from feeling trapped in a marriage? She feels trapped. She is not able to leave when she wants to. And although I want to save my marriage, how can someone that feels trapped be happy? I have been DBing, and we have been getting along, but I know she is going along as to keep the peace until she can file.
Like I said before, all you can do is worry about you and do what you need to do for you. How she feels is on her and you can't do anything about that. Her feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. But the Important thing is that feelings change and that's the reason that all of us are here. Give it some time, her feelings didn't change for you overnight and she won't change them back overnight.
She wants to see other people. But she no longer wants to do it as long as we are married. How do you fight that?
Again you need to do things for you, you can't control her actions. Keep working on changing you and let your changes stick, she will notice, PMA!
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
Her B-day is Sunday. Didn't make any plans yet. I believe she is going out with her friends sometime this weekend to celebrate. Her best friend has a B-day on Tuesday so I believe they are going to do something this weekend. I don't know if I should try to make plans or just let it be. We were supposed to be leaving for New Orleans today, but with all of this, the plans were canceled. She said WE could just use the tickets LATER. Am I reading into that or does that sound like future planning?
Her B-day is Sunday. Didn't make any plans yet. I believe she is going out with her friends sometime this weekend to celebrate. Her best friend has a B-day on Tuesday so I believe they are going to do something this weekend. I don't know if I should try to make plans or just let it be. We were supposed to be leaving for New Orleans today, but with all of this, the plans were canceled. She said WE could just use the tickets LATER. Am I reading into that or does that sound like future planning?
It does sound like future plans, but don't read into that. You even said it yourself that her feelings change like the weather in Texas. My WAW told me two weeks before she left that she would never leave me! That was an example of their feelings changing, at the time my W said that, I think that she believed it.
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
She asked me to go to the movies tonight. I would like to know what she is thinking, but i know not to ask. Just go with it. She has an appointment to see a lawyer next week. But I am still acting the same. No talk about the future. Just listen to her and validate.
To keep my mind occupied, I am going to start working on the house. Rebuilding the deck and fixing a part of the floor in the house. If I have to sell it i would like for it to be ready.
