THanks RMG. I'm with you! Anyways, a little update. W called this morning and asked if I could shut her sprinklers off while she was at work. I said yes, then she mentioned that she needed to get someone to cut her grass. I ended up doing that after the water. She called and thanked me, saying that was too sweet of me and that I should not have done that.
She ended up coming over to pick up Daughter and she came into the room and gave me a big hug telling me thank you again. This the first hug in 2 years!!! It was nice and unexpected I hugged her for a half minute, then pulled away before it got awkward and showed her the event I had been talking about. She seemed happy I told her about it.
She then talked about her car accident case she is in. I was subpeonaed to testify, and she gave me a copy of her testimony. I only mention this because she kept saying many times that I shouldn't read too much into her testimony, that if there was anything bad about me or us not to take it personally.
I read through it and it was hard at times bringing up the past, but I got to see where she was coming from I guess. It is so odd to hear her talk about how we were "so in love, so close, so perfect for one another," and suddenly she felt like a flip was switched and she didn't love me anymore.
She ended the night by inviting me to her grnadmother's breakfast and dad's cookout on father's day, and too a company event to the zoo that she said I should join her and my daughter on!
I have found that these glimmers of hope have been horrendous on my PMA, making it go crazy from one moment to another. So i'm just chugging along trying to keep my GAL and DB goals on track. If she wants to jump on for a ride, we'll deal with it at that junction. Until then (or until a derailment ) I'll stay open and let her feel her way through it.
You know, there's a lot of medical evidence for personality changes after concussions or head injuries or the brain trauma that can occur from deceleration.
There was a famous country music star who got in a bad car accident and suffered from bad post-concussion problems, she wrote a book about it later I believe. What was her name? She had a TV variety show, performed with her sisters I think. Oh yeah, Barbara Mandrell.
I think that might have had something to do with it, but she was still aware to a good extent what she was doing to. She became so materialistic it was like an early MLC.
I really don't know anymore. I analyzed and thought about things so much for the period that it was happening and still to this day second guess and re-think everything so much that I just don't know. Really she is the only one who can say for sure. Maybe one day the truth will come out, maybe I will never know, but that's something out of my control. Something I won't worry about.
quick update. Pretty boring day until I got a call around 8pm from XW. She usually calls for my daughter to say goodnight, but instead she asked me out to dinner with her and duaghter. I accepted, and we hung out for 1 1/2 hours.
I just kept my DBing in focus and had a great time! I was able to keep my PMA up and it showed. We talked about our current issues, but also alot about good times in the past, something she has been very reserved in ever mentioning.
I ended up giving her an article about the event this weekend and she said she was definitly going with our Duaghter, and she was going to try to get her dad to go. I didn't know if this was a hint or not, but decided not to pursue it further.
All-in-all it was a very positive experience, kind of like a date with a small chaperone
Oh, I picked up a lotto ticket for my brother-in-law and she asked me to get one for her too, with her lucky numbers (one hich was specificly my birthdate she said). Just thought that was interesting.
Good for you! Sounds very positive! Keep it up! I think when you can show them that you are moving on and happy, they realize that they are not and wonder why.
Keep it up!
CIAZ M 7/97 S 5/05 D 8/06 Both 33 years old No kids
I ended up having a fantastic day! and it was spent entirely with my XW and daughter! I ended up going to the breakfast and bbq with them as she had already invited me earlier. But in between she asked if I wanted to go to the event I had told her about. So we did and spent about 5 hours there!
I must say that I was worried that it would be awkward but I tried to stay extra positive and act as if. The DBing techniques seemed to work well, and there wasn't a unpleasant moment the whole day! We talked alot and there was alot of mentions of "good times" from when we were together. She even took pictures with just me. Our daughter was trying to be a photographer and she told us to get in the picture. Well XW hopped right in and grabbed ahold.
Anyways, my duaghter and i took off so she could go to bed, and I texted my XW saying Daughter says goodnight and love you, and thanks for helping make this such a great fathers day. She sent a message back saying she had a good day too!
IT couldn't have been a nicer fathers day present!
This makes me very hopeful for you, but also very nervous. I know what it's like to have those kind of days, but don't get your hopes or your expectations up. Could you live on having these kind of days for 6 months or a year without any guarantee that it's going anywhere?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Just updating after alot of confusing things, so bear with me.
Things had been going great hanging out with XW more. Spending time together at fireworks, dinner, etc. Some of the good things:
-Bringing up good things from the past very often(memories, events etc.)
-asking about going on the yearly trip we used to take with my family and if it would be awkward if she went this year (even to the point of asking if she should get her own campsite).
-invited me to her family reunion next weekend
-talk about wanting to take a major vacation together at the end of the year (for daughter to disney)
-saying to our daughter "as long as your happy that's all that matters" when out for walks or hanging out
-been more playfull and touchy
-talked about possibly staying together when she looses her house in october
-mentions that she tells her mom and sisters about how much were hanging out and when they ask if were getting back together she says "she doesn't know what she wants"
Things havn't been this good between us since before the divorce. I try to keep things as light as possible, never bringing up "us" or the past unless she does first. I have kept a positive attitude and that has seemed to make a huge difference.
THE NEGATIVE: I found out that XW has begun practicing witchcraft She had been joking about this for awhile, but while at her house helping her, I saw a spells book she had in her room. I was wrong and snooped, but saw that she was using a spell to "bring back an old lover" - the guy she was just dating a few weeks ago. She had some pictures of the two of them she was using for this.
This devestated me, bringing up so many questions. Is she just playing me in case things don't work out with OG? Why does she keep telling me shes so over him if she is trying to bring him back?
And if she's serious about this crock of bull (witchcraft) I don't know if I could be with her (I'm a serious catholic).
She came over yesterday and ate with me and the family I'm staying with. I tried to keep some distance from her as I was hurt and confused. I wasn't mean or rude, just didn't talk to her as much or not as playful. She obviously picked up on this and was asking what was wrong, telling me she needed to be paid attention to, etc. I just told her I was tired from not getting enough sleep.
I don't know what to make of this if shes trying to enchant this OG back? If she s trying to play me, why?
I am going to an event with her and D today and I don't know how to act or what to think. This is so unreal to me and I don't want to get hurt again. But it started to get that way as I think I let myself get some hope back. Any thoughts or comments greatly appreciated!!!
I hugged her for a half minute, then pulled away before it got awkward and showed her the event I had been talking about. She seemed happy I told her about it. 
She had been joking about this for awhile, but while at her house helping her, I saw a spells book she had in her room. I was wrong and snooped, but saw that she was using a spell to "bring back an old lover" - the guy she was just dating a few weeks ago. She had some pictures of the two of them she was using for this.