Thanks so much for the support and kindness. It really does help.I know that I have had so much anger. I found a cell phone that she bought for him and when I asked him what he wanted to do with it, he said he would return it to her. I took a hammer and smashed it to bits and it got returned to her that way. Isn't that terrible? This has turned me into a raving loon. He is still gone, and he cannot transfer from the department he currently is in. He went back to work today and called me to tell me how " embarrassed" he was. I want to be kind, I want to live my faith, I want to be reasonable, but I am soooooo angry right now. I am grateful for the responses here and I am sorry that everyone has suffered so, but it helps to hear from others and know you are not alone. Thanks Lisa and Goal you are sweethearts. I am sorry about your wife and I understand the anger you feel and the hurt. It is almost overpowering. I am trying to think of things I should be doing for myself right now, but depression gets in the way. Thanks a million again. Love, Violets
Keep posting here it helps tons!!! You my dear are not a raving loon - you sound quit sane to me. I am sure alot of women would have done the same thing to the phone- me included- a bit childish maybe but hey we are entitled to a little fun here too right?
Your anger is very understandable but not going to be helpful in the long run for you.
As far as things you can do for yourself, well once you start something the depression won't be so bad- Paint your toenails, take a long bath, go to a bookstore etc.. just small things but take the first step!!
HUgs' Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Thanks Lisa. Today I feel more hopeless than I have felt so far about the survival of this marriage. I am trying to figure out what steps to take to finish it. This is extremely difficult but I have not love left for my husband. I really don't/ I care but there is no love there. Today I took care of some financial aspects. I called the state board to get my license reinstated for cosmetology. If there were no little grandchildren I really wouldn't think too much about this choice it would be fairly simple.We have been so active with them and kept them here much of the time. This is so hard. Also my oldest son is in a position where a divorce would really be an embarrassment to him. If it were just the 2 of us he would have been served already. He is still not home, but asks when he can come back so we can work things out. I don't have the strength. Everyday is a struggle and I think if I can get out of here and do something besides look at these walls I might feel better. I took your advice and gave myself a pedicure last night! My toes look nice but I still feel crummy. Lol! Honestly after the last years ( which were good ones) I never thought I would have to deak with this again. I put mu heart and soul into keeping a home. Now I don't care. Everything is piled up and I just don't care. I know this house will have to be sold and divided. I think that is how it works. Love, Violets
Maybe taking some time out for yourself would be a good idea. Do you have any relatives or friends you could visit? Just getting out of the situation can make you feel better and having some time away just to think and learn how to breathe again before making any big decisions.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
You're right I do need to get away. I have to stay near here because my mother is elderly and I am the one who helps her. I am going out tomorrow night with a friend and maybe that will help me to feel better. Thanks sweetheart.
Hi Violets I am sorry that you have found yorself in this situation. Something that has helped me is to realize I can't change my husband - I can only do what I can for me. I was a mess at first. I couldn't believe this was my life. I started to read Michelle's books and I came here when I needed to vent - and it really helps. The best thing I've done is to get a life for myself and to try to count what blessings I could find - even if it was just to say - I can walk and feel the sunshine on my face. When I was anticipating a bad day ( like Valentine's day or my birthday )I would do what I could to plan a good day for myself and my daughter. If H wanted to join in great - if not I wasn;t going to let him ruin it - This attitude was not always easy - its been very very hard - but it has helped me be a stronger person - and while I steer my way thru this crap I've been dealt with - I know that whatever happens I can rely on myself
I will keep you in my thoughts - try to keep it together - FOR YOU. Love, HM
Last edited by hannahsmom; 06/15/0712:38 AM.
me - 47 H - 50 /49 when bomb happened Daughter 17 years old married 21 years together 26 years Bomb August 06 H still at home 'I love you but not in love with you'
