I love my jeep but.....

[charlie_girl]

I did something on impulse, something that is not normally me. I sold my car, bought a 98 Jeep TJ sport, something I always wanted. I did not tell H or the kids, thought I would surprise them.

So for once I did something for myself, did it ever backfire on Mother's day. For the 1st time ever, my H bought me a mother's day gift, spent a whole load of money getting a CD player, speakers and installation for my car, the one I sold of course. The jeep has a system, so cannot even use it in that. So not only were the kids extremely disappointed, when H called me to ask if I had opened the gift, I had to tell him about my 'surprise'. The comment that I got was "this is why we never buy you gifts".

I understand their disappointment. One thing that has always been a problem is I am extremely unmaterial, so it makes it hard to buy things for me. Obviously gift giving is one of H's love languages, and once again I managed to kill that joy, unknowingly of course. So there I sat, feeling like crap, that everyone was upset about getting me the perfect gift and I couldn't use it.

This is just me venting, wish this damn stuff wasn't so hard!!

[Grace_O]

cg,

Well, don't beat yourself up. It's done. Something that might nelp in the future though is a kind of house rule we have (really more of a guideline). Never buy anything for yourself within a month of a b-day, anniversary, Mother's or Father's day etc. It helps those that may do something for you.

Having said that you're not materialistic and that it's one of your H's LL's...is there something(s) you like that you could give him a break on? Jewelry, clothes, music, art. Is he artistic? I know I would think I'd died and gone to heaven if my H gave me one of his drawings. That would be framed and on the wall right NOW!

Just something to think about.

[charlie_girl]

Forgiveness?

Does anyone have recommendations on any reading material regarding forgiving. I am having a hard time with this, I say I do, but the emotional swings towards anger are wearing me out. I know the part I played in the breakdown of my marriage, and that is why I can start down the road, but how to complete it is the question.

I have known about the affair since last Aug, it ended last May, but she is still in the picture as she is his boss. I have set my boundary on this, he knows that ultimately she needs to be 100% gone, right now she is 95% gone. Whether he will be willing to look for another job is his choice and his story.

But regardless, I need to truly forgive, and let this go, for my sake. Any thoughts or tips would be appreciated.