Piecing is hard, so I hear! I'm sure your marriage is not going to be the same as it was. Hopefully, in time it will get better. I know you know the drill.....patience, trust & communication, but it has to be hard when he will not acknowledge that he did nthing wrong.
It sounds like you kinda still in limbo land but he's there.
Tell me, are you happy with how things turned out? If your not, you can still DB and do those 180's and of course, change things up a bit!
On a side inner shallow note! YAY! YAY! YAY! I'm glad she's fat and ugly
Hugs!
Jeanette
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
good morning, and thanks everyone for stopping in! These boards are really busy!
Quote:
Tell me, are you happy with how things turned out?
Oh, if only that were a simple question! Mostly, yes, I'm even glad in many ways that all of it happened. I think I learned a lot about myself. I've made some incredible friends. I am happy that H is still here and that we are still married. Even if things are not as good as I want them to be, at least I'm still in it and have plenty of opportunity to keep improving. I do realize how fortunate I am in that respect.
It's probably something about the new year and the holidays that have me a little melancholy, a little too analytical. I spent most of last year working with a life coach, and I'm a big believer in PMA. One of my favorite quotes is from Wayne Dyer--When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. I think since I stopped with my life coach in October, I've just gotten slack. My job has been dreadful. I shouldn't complain because I've survived the layoffs and still have a paycheck coming, but I'm bored to death! It's really just time for another round of working on GAL, I think.
time to stop rambling and do something productive! Thanks again, everyone, for welcoming me back!
Hi Fish. So glad to see things are going good for you. I don't stop by the board much anymore, but for some reason I did today, and was so happy to see your post.
Things didn't go the way I had hoped for me. I am divorced now, and my XH had a baby with the OW. They are not together. After he told me he wanted the divorce for sure last January, they lasted all of one week together, unfortunately for all involved she ended up pregnant from that "reunion."
I know I am better off without him, and things have been great for me, but I am still dealing with the idea of the baby. He has all but abandoned our kids. He blames me for their anger towards him, but he burned a lot of bridges last year. The thing that bothers me the most is he acts like it's no big deal, "these things just happen." I don't thing he has an ounce of guilt or regret. I guess that tells me his journey is far from being over.
Anyway, it's good to hear from you, and I hope things continue moving forward for you. Take care.
Lael, I'm so sorry...but glad to hear the "things have been great for" you part! I think I still have your email on my other computer...I'll try to touch base tomorrow. My eyes are crossed from trying to catch up on these boards!
geez. don't know what happened to the long one, and I don't think I can do it again tonight.
Well, darn it. things are good, folks. what was my main point, after all that typing? It's about finding yourself. Doing this for yourself. Yes, we know we are all here to save our marriages, but if you don't really start GAL for you, really for you, not just because you hope it will bring your spouse back, then it won't work. There is no guarantee it will bring your spouse back, but that's why it works. If you are doing it just to attract them, you are not being true to yourself. And if you are true to yourself, you will be happy even if they don't get it.
I had better stuff in that post that disappeared in cyberspace. Darn.
Oh, trust. It's a big question for many--how can you ever trust them after they have cheated? Do I really trust my husband? Yes. Right now. Am I 100% sure he will never cheat on me again? NO! He's shown that's one of the ways he deals with our problems. Not good. But at least I know it. Right now, as things are, and if things continue to approve, I believe he won't cheat. If things get bad again, all bets are off. I just don't know how much he has learned, how much he has really grown, from this mess. But I don't think about it every day. I'm not worried about it. I just know I have to pay attention to our marriage and to him and make sure things are never so awful again.
That really doesn't sound as convincing as it did the first time I tried to explain it. But now I'm getting frustrated trying to explain again. I'll check back in again, and I really do want to be a positive influence here instead of whining. I didn't want to leave or disappear for another extended period on a negative note.
Time just flies, doesn't it? It is interesting to me, when I occassionally check back in here and re-read my old posts, to try to figure out why I'm here. Sometimes I think I visit when I'm really down and frustrated, other times it's when I'm feeling pretty good and positive. Today is the latter :-)
We are still good--just passed our 6 year anniversary. We didn't make a big deal out of it. H's birthday is the day before and that always has the most focus, plus we've ignored it the last couple of years, and since we were together so long before we got married, the wedding date has never been that big a deal. Still, it's hard to believe that just 2 years ago he was with somoene else on his birthday/our anniversary. So much has happened in so little time! Relatively speaking. I certainly would not have thought these 2 years would go by this quickly when it all first started.
I hope everyone is doing well! If work stays as quiet as it has been so far today, I'll keep browsing and trying to catch up with everyone!
