Good to hear from you. Hope you're feeling better.
"We are often considered too far into this to be still mourning what our spouses have done . . .." Heck, I wonder myself how I can still be feeling this way after so long (only half as long as you). But that's not important. There is still progress, as you say.
BND - There's God's hand working again...I was about to go check my mail before bed, but for some reason felt I should check the board - MLC - no less. And there you were! Thanks. I miss you all as well.
I said a special prayer of Thanksgiving for you when I saw that your family was reunited. Is everything still going ok? What courage and strength you have shown through all of this.
I have lots of reading to catch up here - sometimes I check the Divorcing thread because I know more people over there. Sad.
My husband and I are still married - 41 years NY's Eve! We leased a new car for me that morning and then he took off immediately to be with Satan's Skank that night. He has lived with her for a few years now. I recently talked to an old friend who saw them drinking at a bar together - the first sighting that anyone has told me about. Yuck!
The longer it goes on, in many ways the harder it gets. Two of my adult sons see him on rare occasions where before he saw them very rarely. Another son has seen him right along. We were seeing him together at grandchildren's b'day parties etc. but now he's done a few things alone with them. My youngest son says it's bad whether he sees his father or not - nothing like what he dreamed of as a kid, but he admits now that it hurt not seeing him. So much of this son's life was patterned after the father who has abandoned him in so many ways.
My boys still say they will never see him with her or even ever see her. None of us, including him, ever speaks her name or refers to her.
My full prayer is still for his soul to be saved - and for our marriage and family to be restored. Some people mock me for that, but it's what I feel Christ has called me to do. With God Nothing is Impossible.
I had sinus surgery last summer that didn't work - so have been pretty much unwell for months. Am seeing another surgeon next week.
There are so many people from here that I miss and hope to reach soon: Pammie, Mermaid, Wonder, Snodderly, Vee, Naej, Bluekeys, Barbie, KarenS, Sadeyez, Jan, Karen, Shocked, Laughing, Almost, Amy, the girls from Washington State, Australia, Texas and so many others I can't think of the screen names for - and, of course - you, BND.
There were so many dark days and nights that you all helped me through. I can't help but wonder too how those who no longer post are doing. Their stories were heartbreaking and I know God and all of us wanted them to have restored marriages.
Marriage was intended to be permanent, beautiful and comforting. It's a chosen state of life with special graces from God if we avail ourselves of them. I just watched a video of a couple who had been through the death of an adult son a couple of years before and knew the husband had a very bad brain tumor as they filmed. It shows what marriage should be for each one of us. The husband died at age 56 a year or so later. This is a link to the site Video website The video is called "Carrying the Cross Together". Johnette Benkovic, the wife, hosts a show on EWTN called "The Abundant Life".
I work on a funeral ministry at my parish (we help the families with the church-related part of the funeral). I have even had to go to the cemetery and "bury" the person - read the prayers over the casket etc...due to the shortage of priests. I have never felt so unworthy. It's kind of depressing and takes up to three days of involvement, but it's one thing I could do...so I do. People are so grateful and someone has to do it.
Ever since this started with my husband, I have thought about implementing some kind of Diocesan program for Catholics like me. There are already those for Divorced and Separated and the Third Option or Retrovaille for couples who want to work on their difficult marriages, but nothing to help those of us who are "standing" for our marriages. Maybe I'll try to do it. Pope John Paul II wrote that the church is supposed to help all marriages work forever, but you wouldn't know that in real life. (I did recently write a Catholic author - Fr. Jerry Foley - and heard back from him. So kind.)
More and more lately I've been reminded of how God has a plan for each one of us and will use wherever we are in life for a good purpose. It's a very difficult concept when you're getting figuratively kicked around by a WAS - and when it just plain hurts. So then you offer the suffering up for your spouse's soul or whatever Christ wants it for and go on.
Must get to bed now - have to get in my reading time no matter how late it is.
God bless and keep you all. Remember that God loves each of us.
Oh my goodness! I have logged on tonight after all these months to see that you have just posted. It is so good to read something from you. I spent so many months here 3 years ago and you were a rock then and you are a rock now!! I don't know if I'm standing for my marriage or just in hiding from my marriage. But you, Lib, to have so much hope in what marriage stands for. You are an inspiration.
NLF
You must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will then be powerless to vex your mind. ---Leonardo da Vinci
Actually - I DID HEAR FROM LIBNOR! Thanks for the call, Lib. I have come by the site about once a month and end up reading and not posting. My life is the same and yet different LOL - Actually, things seem to be in transition but I am not sure of the "from" and "to". I am busy and blessed and am taking one day at a time as God makes the arrangements and timing. My youngest keeps me busy and happy. I have completed some major "projects" and am in the midst of some, and others are waiting in line - too much paper work! I need to get to the point of taking road trips from after Christmas to before Easter! They would be south ! I may get to take a week or two this winter but not definite. Well, stay warm, All! Faith, Hope, Love, LoveSuffersLong lovesufferslong@hotmail.com
