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Joined: Jun 2006
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Sweet Chica, you are brave to say these things out loud.

So I will too.

I fear he's never once looked back, never once regretted, never had the first doubt.
I fear it's all about me, not all about him.
I fear he lived 12 1/2 years of hell before he got the nerve to finally say enough.
I fear he said what he thought I wanted to hear, not what he ever meant.
I fear I can't take care of the farm, the house, the animals, me.
I fear I won't be able to afford to retire.
I fear I will be the crazy old lady with dogs, not cats.

There's probably more I fear but I'm afraid to think too much about it for fear of what I will uncover.

BA

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Oh...BA...you can never be a crazy old lady with dogs!!! they love you!!! Cats are very solitary and that's why I chose them as my crazy indicator. A dog would panic if you weren't there...a bunch of cats would probably just eat you!!!!

So cross crazy dog lady off your list....they just don't exist!!! \:\)

One fear down....

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Chica,

Focus on resurrection.

Let's resurrect these dead marriages.

David


The fires of true love can never be quenched, because the source of its flame is God Himself!
- Shulamith
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I fear that LL will never swallow his pride thus never come back

I fear that maybe he DOESN'T want to come back

I fear that I will never find another love

I fear that he was lying the entire 15 years I have known him

I fear that his family will never understand

I fear that he will choose his family over me

I fear that he will find OW and everyone will love her and she will be more attractive/thinner/smarter than I

I fear that he will have children with someone other than me

I fear that I will never get over my anger towards him

I fear that once my dogs pass, there will be no connection with him

I fear that my "gift" will drive him away

I fear losing hope that we could reconcile


Aug '06: H moved out
July '08: H had a kid with the OW
May 12 '09: emancipation day

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

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V...what is your gift?

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I fear that this is the way we are going to end, with him having an affair and then moving out. That we never get the chance to make it right between us.

I fear that he will not find himself again, that he will not get back the man he was, one whose word meant something. That he is going to let the affair define who he is for the rest of his life.

I fear for my son, he is taking this so hard, I fear that we have failed him so badly.


I don't want to play this game anymore....

Me - 47
H - 49
D - 16
S - 11
Bomb - Nov 05
"there is nothing here for me anymore"
EA/PA confirmed/over - Aug 06
Sep - Oct 06
Does not want to file for divorce
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CG,

Take the 'we' out of that statement with about your son. You are there for him, H has left. If anyone has failed it is H.


"I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.

Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you."
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Prayer...I have a gift with that...like if I say that I will pray for you for X thing, it will happen just like I ask for.

Maybe the gift is really the power of positive thinking...either way...we all have "gifts" but many times they go untapped. The Power of Prayer is only second to the Power of Love...Love encompasses all...and I don't just mean romantic love, I mean love for God, self, & others. I feel that at this time is the time to be introspective of ourselves, what we have done to make our marriages not work and how to improve those things...so, in essence, it is a journey of self-discovery...

There are other gifts too, but I won't talk about them here b/c people would freak out.


Aug '06: H moved out
July '08: H had a kid with the OW
May 12 '09: emancipation day

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

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I fear that this was my last chance.
I fear that S14 will follow in the footsteps of generations of men before him.
I fear that H will never regret this.
I fear that it was mostly my fault.

Lis, I love the idea of running over these fears during Holy Week. We can reawake with a good fresh start free of these wretched, life-hindering fears. Thanks for such a great idea. (Smooch). AH

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I fear that my H will marry OW.

I fear that H never loved me.

I fear that I will damage my Ss by standing and not giving up.

I fear losing my S32.

I fear spending the rest of my life missing my H.


Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
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