My situation is a little different than most. My wedding band was a little big on me. I went fishing and lost it in the river. My wife wasn't happy about it but never made a big issue of it either. I never got another one and haven't worn a ring since.
My wife never said anything about our marriage to me. A couple of weeks ago she blind sided me with wanting a divorce. About a week before that she took her ring off. She's never taken it off since we've been married. A couple of the diamonds came loose and she was afraid she would loose them. At the time she took it off it was untill we could get it fixed. Well, last week I got the ring fixed. I told her and she said she'll put it back on if she feels like it. I figure when she took the ring off is when she decided she wanted out. She's telling me that it was just a coincidence. I know she said she wants a divorce but, I'm really hurt by the fact she won't wear it. We are still married. Next week she's going on a trip out of state to see friends. I'm really wanting her to wear it on her trip. I know I can't say anything without it being a control issue in her mind.
I am sorry about your sitch, Jason! I hope that things work out for you.
If you are to follow the DB techniques, then you need to work on yourself, and realise that you can only control yourself, and not your W. IMO, it would be a mistake to ask her to wear the ring. In her mind, the M is over, and the request may just give her another excuse as to why it is.
Did your W not give you any reason why she wants a D? How long have you been M? Is she willing to go into counselling?
Now is the time to keep a cool head. Whatever you do - DO NOT beg her to stay, don't promise her anything, don't cry in front of her, don't argue or fight! Don't bring up R discussions - if she does, then just validate her feelings, not necessarily her reasoning, and try and keep calm. I know, very hard at a time like this.
Good luck!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Quote: Now is the time to keep a cool head. Whatever you do - DO NOT beg her to stay, don't promise her anything, don't cry in front of her, don't argue or fight! Don't bring up R discussions...
... and DO NOT ask to put on her wedding ring! (speaking from experience ... naturally. )
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