H: I don't want to work on our marriage. We have fundamental differences. Me: Such as? what fundamental differences are you talking about? H: I like to socialize and go out. You get all mad when you don't have something to wear or when you don't like the way your hair looks.
W- I have forgiven you for having an A. Me- No you haven't. W- Why do you say that? Me- Because you keep bringing it up and lashing out. wife ponders a minute. W- You're right, I haven't forgiven you. I'm still hurting and really pissed off. Me- I know. I am sorry for having hurt you so deeply and so terribly. I hope that soon you'll truly be able to offer your forgiveness.
conversation ended. But, I truly felt that was a breakthrough b/c she got honest with herself about her own feelings.
Oh, alright, what my W said wasn't stupid. It was just so far off base from her own reality due to those world-class blinders my W often wears when looking at herself. Anyway, I really did perceive this realization as a breakthrough for her, hopefully it will be for us. We'll see.
I believe this is new to the DB site, but this happened approximately 1 month ago. I may have posted this story on my thread, but not sure since I am looong winded in my posts and too lazy at the moment to read my own sitch. Thanks for asking though. If you have any thoughts or comments, please post them on my thread, as I do not want to hijack this fine thread with my "stuff." Thank you, my friend.
Wait...I have some good ones...(please keep in mind that LSS is in a category all on his own but...)
Well...when I moved out you made me choose betweent he bed and the computer and I chose the computer but she had a bed. What did you expect me to do?
She's not a drug dealer...she just sells drugs to people.
After confronting him about the fact that he was telling everyone he caught me in bed with some one else(total lie) Well yo udon't expect me to tell my family I was the one havingthe affair, do you?
This wasn't said TO me, but I know from snooping that OM wants a "godly woman"... And my computer captured (X)W emailing him that when they resumed sleeping together after her divorce it was going to feel HOLY...(they stopped b/c it wasn't "right") Jeez!
Oh, and before the bomb when things were just getting going on her part (EA) "He's SOOO spiritual! He knows scripture so well!"
"I did NOT have an affair b/c I told you the marriage was over before I got involved w/ OM" Okay, you told me in the morning and that night you told him you wanted to see him, that HE was the person you were attracted to that you had confided to him about a few weeks earlier. That you had been attracted to him for weeks, if not a few months.
"since the marriage was over it wasn't an affair. I shouldn't have slept with him because I'm not divorced, but it wasn't an affair".
Of course I heard the standards... We never should have gotten married. I probably never loved you the way I should have. We didn't have any chemistry. The kids will be okay once they see we're both happy. The kids don't have ANY problem w/ OM; they like him and enjoy going out w/ him.... (Neither of them now wants to talk about him AT ALL!)
My H hasn't said these things to me but he has to my kids.
He told my D16 he wasn't having an affair b/c he met current OW after he left me. When she pointed out that it was an affair b/c he was still M to me his reply was only on paper!
If you want the most hurtful thing. When I first found out about OW #1 H said all he had ever wanted was a beautiful woman on his arm. Well I never did get to see this woman but the one he is currently with is twice the size of me, has worse acne than my S13 and can't speak English very well! So either he is seriously in need of new glasses or he never meant it in the first place.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
When I left you for OW1, you transfered money from our joint account to your personal one because you thought I was going to screw you over. I just can't believe you were thinking of yourself first.
I just got the same thing. My H actually used the words "don't you think that is a breach of trust? "
I cannot fathom why he thinks it is alright to speak to me about issues of trust. Puhleeeeeeeeezzz! What a wanker.
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
Oh this should be fun... just had the one anniv. of D Day so let's see all that I can remember I have heard through the last year.
1. I want you to hurt as bad as I am. 2. You'd really like her, you have SOOO much in common. 3. She has no responsibilites. 4. She's not judgemental. 5. as told to our friends "So do you think Lisa will pay for my and ow trip to the dart tourney? 6. Could you make my car payment (actually heard this one several times). 7. I should crush your skull 8. I should burn your house down 9. You've ruined my life 10. Let's just take a break and see if we are miserable without each other. 11. If you get rid of my stuff, I'll sue you. 12. She like's to party and go out all the time. 13. Now the shoe is on the other foot and I want to stay home (this said a couple of months after number 12).
I think that's enough of a walk down memory lane... I'm enjoying my new scenery these days!! There is most definitely life after all this ya'll trust me... I'm now living proof!!
If you have any thoughts or comments, please post them on my thread, as I do not want to hijack this fine thread with my "stuff." Thank you, my friend.