Tell Berto I said HI! Tell him to keep in touch. He can always email me. If a few people want to get together in DC sometime let me know. It is only a 4 hr. drive for me and I'm always itching to get away.
Mr. Coffee is good. I am meeting him tomorrow. He has a "love interest" at the moment though. I hope HE does not mind me saying that. Do you Mr. Coffee?? Anyway, I need to find an available Mr. Coffee now, huh?
Quote: H, Let me know as soon as you can if you are going to Asheville this weekend. I had told Jen that I wanted to go to the kids soccer game so she had thought we could meet on Sunday to run. If you are away then I will see if she can meet EARLY sat. am before soccer.
Thanks for your help with the kids, Me
Here is H's response to me:
Quote: Listen, I want to say this as nicely as possible, I feel a bit taken advantage of. I am doing my best to help you out and be there for the family, in turn it seem you require more and more of me every day. I don't mind helping you and being around when I need to, but I also want to live my life a little also. I'm glad you are finding so many things to take interest in, but I need some time also.
A while back we had a schedule where I had half of Saturday and all of Sunday to myself. And to be quite honest, I am running around doing so much that sometimes I need that Sunday to sleep in. I am now bringing the kids to school (in most cases) five days a week and bring them home almost as much, and you are the one with the day off.
I don't mind every now and then changing the schedule around (it is something I may need at times also). So if Yoga is something you really want to do, maybe we can find another way to allow you to do that so I can have Sunday to recover from my week. If you don't think any of this is reasonable, please let me know. I really am trying my best to give you time to do your thing, I just ask you consider doing the same for me.
I have not responded back to H yet but this is what I would like to say. BTW, I work 4 days a week and the daycare my son goes to is at my H's work which is a full 30 minutes away. We evenly split who picks up our son but H does bring him to daycare 4-5days a week. Please revamp it as needed, THANKS!!
Quote: H, Since we are getting things off our chest here goes:
If you were the husband you were suppose to be then you could sleep in on Sunday mornings all you want and that would not be a problem. Since you’ve chosen a different path, then YES there will be lots of inconveniences on both sides.
You need to speak your mind when I ask you a question. There is nothing wrong with me asking the question, the problem lies in you not being honest with me at the time I’ve asked the question.
As far as yoga on Sunday, no I will not be doing that again. Last Sunday I wanted to so that I could bond a little more with my running friends that I see very rarely. As far as Jen suggesting we get together this Sunday to run that was due to the fact that I wanted to see the kids play soccer. If I have to run solo then I will.
The house is falling apart. The laundry, carpet, dusting, vacuuming, etc… I never have time alone to do this other than after the kids are in bed and I don’t have the energy to do it then. As I recall you have had almost the past 2 yrs. to do what you want whenever you want.
Under the present circumstances we should just make a schedule and stick with it.
HI all!!! I've been lurking some. Needed to get away for alittle while.
H and I have had 2 or 3 arguments/disagreements this past month about having enough "me" time. We spoke openly and honestly and then came to an agreeable compromise. I think this is what "normal" R should be like.
Anyway, the bottom line is H is still happy being on his own. H admitted that he would act differently if he wanted our R to work out but he is not. It is hard to hear the truth sometimes. This brings me to my question:
I have a question about the upcoming holidays. I emailed H 2 days ago and asked him how he wants to handle the holidays this year. H said he would get back to me after he thinks about it.
I just got off the phone with him and he suggested that we ride to NJ together for thanksgiving and xmas. It is a 9 hr. drive. In the past we always alternate who's family we spend thanksgiving with and then see both family's on xmas day. They live 10 minutes apart.
This year is "my" side of the families year for thanksgiving. H asked if everyone hated him and wouldn't want to see him. I said no, they don't know much of what's going on other than we are S. (they don't know the extent of things.)
H said he would talk to his folks to see what they were doing before he decided.
So...........before we talked I thought I would just drive to NJ by myself with the kids (3 and 5 yr. old)I wasn't looking forward to it but thought that was my only option. I am glad that H is willing to drive with me. It makes it much easier in many ways but harder on my emotions.
I just ran a 1/2 marathon today in the rain. There were too many hills, my knee started hurting at mile 8 but I am happy to say that I now have a full marathon and a 1/2 marathon under my belt.
I'm looking forward to just exercising for the sake of exercising for the next few months.
How is everyone doing with the upcoming holidays? I do find this time of year to be the hardest!!
Be a good friend....kind, easy going, fun....taking good care of YOU! DO NOT BRING UP RELATIONHIP talks anymore...at all! No pressure....can't you see him retreat back and defend himself, everytime you do. I know you have NEED to KNOW what your future holds.....but if you want a future with H, he needs his time....to sort stuff out. He needs to see you doing fine without him living with you....and taking care of your needs.
One thing my H said to me a few weeks back that might apply to you is:
"I really saw your strength of character when you let me go, gave me space....and work things out on your own. You dug deep, while hurting, and worked on you. I saw your strength and was drawn back to you....the real you, without the neediness or fluff."
My quote isn't exact, but that was the jist of it.
Yes, Nik.....I want a recommittment, too......he is 90% there....and yes I still want more.....but I am being more patient than ever. ONly our H's can fix themselves....we have no control.....I sense you want control from your H, you want to know his committment toward you and your family. He can't give it yet.....BE PATIENT.
Just some thoughts.....Hey and a big CONGRATS on the half marathon.....IMPRESSIVE!
Great to hear from you. Yes, you are right. I am a planner and controller by nature.
Quote: "I really saw your strength of character when you let me go, gave me space....and work things out on your own. You dug deep, while hurting, and worked on you. I saw your strength and was drawn back to you....the real you, without the neediness or fluff."
I like what your H told you. The bottom line is we need to "get a life" without our WAS. They will either join us eventually or they won't.
As far as friends go, we are doing pretty good with that. H and I were talking about cell phone plans a week ago and H told me that I was one of the few people that he does call back re: not needing many minutes on his cell plan.
Have any Halloween plans? I'm still working on changing the clocks in the house.
