Quote: We will be celebrating both H's and BIL's birthdays while we're in NH. Just imagine - the two MLC boys having a birthday party together. Too bad SIL and I can't make that the theme of the party. What kind of decorations would be appropriate? Actually, I'm amazed she can make herself plan this party, he's been such a stinker for about 4 yrs, hardly talks to her at all. They communicate through email!
You're crackin' me up! How about pony rides or a monkey? A bed in the shape of a fancy car? Buy him some hair dye? Take him to get his ear pierced? Balloon animals?
I have my fingers and toes crossed for you that you have a pleasant vacation. Even if the "shared bed" doesn't pan out, you can still make a lot of progress.
Can't believe it - H and I are back in the same bed for the first time in 9 months!
I will read up soon to link to my old thread for background.
Back to the story. H was gone week before vacation for work training school in MA, called almost every night. H got finished up sooner than expected on Wed, so went to IL's on Thurs. I started my trip to New England last Friday 'motoring' up in Mini and spending overnight at my parents in RI. H called 3-4 times during the 7-8 hr drive up. I figured he must be lonely or his parents driving him crazy - seemed anxious for me to get to NH. I had a nice quiet evening at my parents' farm (they were away) and time to reflect on my expectations for the week.
When I got to lake in NH, went thru the typical greetings, and almost immediately H says he'll get my suitcase. H carries it in and I follow him and he goes to THE BEDROOM WHERE HE'S SLEEPING AND IT'S ALSO THE ONE WITH THE DOUBLE BED. HUGE!! - There were two other bedrooms with twins available and we've been in separate bedrooms since 12/7/03.
I was pretty calm - still unsure of how excited I should act. H was in a good mood and it was fun with BIL's family in rented house nearby. So after some sun and swim. SIL and I went to get cakes and stuff for birthdays and to dish over frozen frappes.
Anyway. The first night we were together I was acting as if this was all pretty normal, and after all we were surrounded by family. I was happy just to have H doing some slight cuddling because he's one of those types that doesn't like to be too close when he's trying to sleep. But he wasn't avoiding my touch at all. I was looking forward to moving step by step to some more intimate activity during the week, but life always throws you a curve.
The very next day, H does a serious injury to his back trying to water ski (keeping up with the nieces and nephews). He's hurt so badly he can barely walk. So that put a real crimp in my expectations on the intimacy front.
But I'm taking it in stride. When we got home, I had to carry the suitcases and I was unsure where to put H's. I decided to go for it, and put his bag in OUR room and see what H says. Later in the evening, H very casually says he thinks we should sleep in the other room because the bed is bigger. It's not, but who cares.
So, we're on the right track. I'm taking it slow but I think we're reconciled. Doesn't it seem silly that I don't know for sure. But, I know it will be a long time or maybe never before H comes right out and says anything. Explicit or direct he is not. I've always had to read between the lines, and now I think I'm getting better at it. H seems very content (other than back pain) and is being very considerate in the little things.
It all seems strangely normal after being in separate rooms for 9 mos. Almost as if we were never apart - how weird is that?
Thought you would get laugh out of this. SIL gave BIL for his birthday two hours of rental time on a Harley. Is that perfect for the MLCer or what? My H already has a Harley and two super expensive bicycles, and he still wants more riding toys.
I just hope all the 'old man' jokes H had to endure from nieces and nephews and the back injury doesn't send my H right back into MLC land.
