Hugging at least once a day - him hugging me - a reciprical hug - not a one sided hug.
Make love at least once a week - health permitting.
Willingness to listen to me when I ask for his attention - and his affection.
It is a start. N144, I telling you, my wakeup did not come till she was leaving.
My desire for ML every six is fine with me, and I am just not interested in showing affection.
Got to be hormone or the lack of, cause did not use to be that way. No sure you got easy solution, but I can ident with your H. Does not me I am right, just means this is his reality.
Hairdog, I am hoping this weekend goes better too! I hate arguing with my H expecially about sex. This is something we would have never have griped about years ago. I never thought we would be up in our forties arguing that we did not have enough sex! We are trying to talk things out...he is often not a great communicator!
WBBNIS
Quote: For me, talking, and I mean really talking, has changed EVERYTHING. I am indeed fortunate that my W is willing to talk and listen.
I am glad that your wife was willing to talk to you about problems. My H seems to be willing to talk and to listen but it is hard for him to be very affectionate. We are working on it.
He called me at work today. I was working out of town and left yesterday. He was very sweet on the phone and it gave me warm fuzzies. Our new furnature was delivered while I was gone and when I got home he allowed kissing and hugging for a few moments. I told him I needed to test the new couch for comfort for snuggling and he allowed and participated in a little snuggling - yay for both of us.
Poe, I am sorry that you were to late in waking up to save your marriage. My H seems to want to work on the problem to a certain extent - he just doesn't get my need for more affection in the absence of sex. You stated:
Quote: My desire for ML every six is fine with me, and I am just not interested in showing affection.
Every six what? Days, weeks, months? Why are you not interested in showing affection? Do you think it doesn't have value? I understand the lack of hormones but most women enjoy affection and touching. It can be a learned behavior! Learn to show some affection and a LD GF may appear. I know a number of women (my sister and my sister in law) who couldn't care less about sex!
Thanks guys for the 2 cents. I need all the help and male perspective I can get! I want to be the best wife that I can possibly be - I think my marriage is worth fighting for - he is worth fighting for - I love him with all my heart.
One of the threads ask everyone to write something positive about our spouses and this is what I wrote and then sent to hubby:
We were asked on the forum to describe our hubbies - here is what I wrote.
My darling husband is a wonderful provider and a great daddy. He can be a steady as a rock in the swirl of my own craziness! He is goodlooking, still built like a 24 year old, has pretty blue eyes, he is smart, has a razor type wit, he loves children and he appreciates my good cooking! He can balance the check book down to the last penny and I admire that because I am so sorry at that! What's not to love?
Just thought you might like to see that Honey!
Love, your adoring wife
(he sent the following e-mail to me and I responded and he responded!)
If I was on the forum I would describe my wife this way. A very pretty lady in her 40's who is very appealing, loving, caring and never meets a stranger. She is definitely a one-man woman, who when she decides she wants something or someone nothing gets in her way. Her talents are only limited by people (kids, husband, family & other assorted characters who she gives her time willingly) and the fact she is not financially able to pursue dreams which would turn into realities for her. She would feed a stranger off the street yet at the same time shoot the stranger if he threatens the safety of her family. Her abilities are endless and age has not lessened her hunger for knowledge. She is not one for sitting and not be doing something while she is sitting (of course doing things that appeal to her). She is not a gossip yet loves to talk. She appreciates the simple things such as a pretty sunset to the man made beauty of the castles of the world. She is well read and far smarter than she would have you believe.
Too bad God only makes one of each kind because she deserves one with qualities of her kind. But that is why God made her and gave her the most valued quality. The ability to put up with me.
The Husband.
I love you.
Denise
DITTO
BARRY
This really warmed my heart. I read it when I feel upset or down. That he put it in writing really surprised me. He is not a gushy person in any shape, form, or fashion. Again, thanks for the help!
Hi It's me! I just read what you and your husband wrote, and it almost made me cry! You have so much respect and love for one another. I know that you can work it out. You have such a strong foundation. I will be praying for you. Keep in touch.
Pigtails, Thanks for the kind words! We didn't get to ML this weekend - but we did cuddle for a little while Saturday morning. He went rode his Harley to the casino in the neighboring state and was gone all day.
We took our S16 out to eat with us Saturday night and we didn't get home til very late.
We got up early this morning to go to a car show - he and our son really enjoyed that. We came home and watched a movie. We did get in a disagreement over how much I spent on our D13 for school and we actually were able to work out our disagreement after some initial hostility.
That was a good thing. I told him I did not want to fight with him over anything and he said he felt the same. We were able to resolve our differences without to many big waves. Money used to be the thing we fought over - not sex!!! LOL.
I know what you mean about money issues. We used to fight all of the time about it. Things are much better now. I am glad that you could resolve the matter without too much conflict.
