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For obvious reasons, we have disguised the identity of the people offering the following comments about their Divorce Busting® coaching experience. They are, however, real people who have sought our marriage help for their very real relationship problems. There are many, many more testimonials throughout this website.
I have many times nearly written to you to tell you of my success thanks to you. Sometimes, though, I wondered if things would go wrong again. Now I feel confident enough to tell you my good news.
My husband is a wonderful man. I saw changes in him which I didn't understand. This went on, maybe every 6 months for maybe 5 years. He would say "maybe we should separate". Then life would jog along until the next time. Somewhere along the way, I found your website and ordered "Divorce Busting". Then everything was OK again. We did have some help with counseling, at times of crisis.
Just about a year ago, he said he had decided to leave me. I was ready, and asked him to read Divorce Busting® before he left. He went off and read for a few hours, and came back, put his arm around me, and said "the book is very interesting, darling". (!!!!!)
Immediately, I had a telephone consultation with one of your Divorce Busting® Coaches. It was wonderful, uplifting, and exactly the help I needed. My coach told me "your love and dependency are scaring him to death!" I did not know this. I only knew that he wanted to be independent and I didn't. She helped me to formulate a plan. I only changed subtle things. I gradually could see that my husband was acting happy again.
I am now part of his future and he is part of mine. I can see that he is happy. I thank you and give you credit for everything. I am trying to be your disciple and spread the word. I am loaning my books to my friends and I tell everyone about your website.
I also love your tape "Marriage Breakthrough". It is profound, I would say. Thank you for all you do for the betterment of mankind.
I just want to let you know what a great job my coach did after my wife left me and planned to get divorced. After 6 personal sessions with a traditional therapist and absolutely no progress, I contacted Divorce Busting® after reading your book. My coach talked with me and my wife for about 6 sessions and today i can tell you that my wife is moving back at the end of the month and our reconciliation is progressing extremely well. She is wearing her wedding rings, telling me we she loves me and we are working through the issues that caused the trouble in our marriage. Thank you for saving our marriage, supporting me through this horrible time and giving me effective and direct assistance in repairing the damage.
My wife and I have been separated since February 8th. We attended six hours of counseling with a local therapist not affiliated with your program.
After six sessions with no progress I called and spoke with a Divorce Busting® Coach. In just two phone sessions she gave me more practical, useful problem solving techniques and advice than 6 hours of face-to-face therapy. We have discontinued the first therapy and my wife intends to return home soon.
Thank you to Divorce Busting. Your helpful, useful advice has actually resulted in the end of our separation and the reconciliation of our marriage.
Your book Divorce Remedy was a huge inspiration to me. With God's guidance and your insight, I can truly say that my prayers were answered and my wife has decided not to divorce or go through even with the separation. My Divorce Busting® Telephone Coach was most helpfull and uplifting. The Divorce Busting® message boards helped me through a very critical week. Your book Divorce Remedy and the last resort techniques helped me hold it all together during a very critical week. Lastly, I had left divorcerbusting.com on my wifes computer, she read the first chapter and decided that it would not be in the best interest for our kids, her or myself to divorce and that we could work this out. We are taking it one day at a time. THANK YOU SO MUCH! You truly are a God send! May God Bless you and your family!
I just want to let you know that I called your office and your assistant suggested a telephone consultation. I really wasn't calling the office to find out about coaching. I wanted to know when your next seminar was because my husband and I will be out of town for your March seminar. But she convinced me that I would get a lot out of a conversation with a coach in the meantime.
Boy, was she was right! The coach I spoke to helped me realize that my situation wasn't as hopeless as I had thought and that there really were some things I could do right away to show my husband that our marriage could be saved. The ideas she came up with were pretty obvious, but I had never thought of them myself because I have been so emotional because of all of our fighting lately. I was very happy to get an objective view of my situation. Feeling hopeful has made all the difference in the world. I'm sleeping better and thinking more clearly. So, I want to thank you for giving me the nudge I needed to get started. I hope to meet you at the next Keeping Love Alive seminar. Thanks again, you guys.
I had a very good session with my Divorce Busting® Coach. He was extremely helpful. When I called him, my thoughts were scattered and foggy. He helped me start thinking more clearly and got me going in the right direction. He helped me set some goals, and helped me figure out some things that I've been doing that are working, and which things I've been doing that are not working. Well, my telephone session with my coach was 2 weeks ago. I've been following the plan he suggested, and things are looking MUCH BETTER. My wife seems to be coming around a bit, and I feel much better myself. Thanks to Michele, Chuck and Divorce Busting.
I want to thank you for sharing with me the value of the relationship coaching. Because I had my mind on couples counseling, I was "on the fence" when you mentioned one-on-one relationship coaching. Thankfully, you stuck with me, persuaded me further, and I signed up for a session.
I want to thank my Divorce Busting® Coach for the great coaching session. In the first session she was right in there with me looking at the fine details of my girlfriend and my interactions in such a way that I'm now empowered to avoid and resolve potential future conflicts. She was very affirming and validating, helping me discover my own strengths that I can now powerfully bring to bear in the relationship. In one session I felt empowered to be responsible for the success of the relationship - no longer feeling a victim of that emerging destructive pattern in our relationship that seemed bigger than the both of us. The tips and resources were invaluable. The session was worth 10 times the cost. I can't thank you and Michele Weiner-Davis, enough for saving myself and my girlfriend from the pain of potential future needless conflicts.
Michael T. Walker, Ph.D.
Trainer of Marriage and Family Counselors for 8 years
My consultation with my coach was fantastic. It went a long way to make me feel like I'm on track with Divorce Busting. He answered a lot of questions about communication, thought-stopping, and being more authentically who I am. He reminded me that letting my husband see me laugh is important; that I need to forgive myself for the things I did to contribute to the distance between my husband and me; and that I must challenge my husband's core beliefs that he knows me inside and out and that I will never change. The most important thing he said to me was this: if in 30 days my husband had a total change of heart- that he would come back to me with open arms- what would I do? My answer: live with a joyful heart. And that is precisely what I need to do. I will create the situation that I want to see. My husband won't know what hit him--and the other woman can cry herself to sleep.
Dear Everybody at Divorce Busting,
You have made such a difference in my life. I was so low, and felt for once, defeated with no option to pursue in my marriage. My motto has always been "Against all Odds", and I saw no hope for my marriage after my husband advanced paperwork from legal separation to dissolution. I wrote Michele Weiner-Davis at Divorce Busting, and her assistant, personally contacted me on my cell phone. She was so compassionate, and listened to my story after recommending a coaching session. I had thought about that, but didn't think it could make a difference. Was I wrong!
If it wasn't for Michele's book and website recommendations to read everything I could, I'd never survive. I've had to deal with confronting my husband to pay his share of joint expenses, discuss another person, and confront his dishonesty. I normally would have kept everything inside, but Dottie, my coach, taught me the communication skills to correctly address the situations. She encouraged me to go on, when I was ready to give up, and has given me the courage to be patient. Dottie soothed me with the fact that these rebound relationships are short-lived, and they usually exaggerate their importance. She's given me the courage to continue "divorce-busting".
I am happy with my growth. Whatever happens, it is already worlds better between my husband and me, compared to when he left me. Divorce Busting, the staff, and Dottie are my lifeline. Please follow their advice. It's the only thing that keeps you sane, and can improve the relationship and even achieve reconciliation after your spouse has moved out and filed for dissolution.
Yours truly, Dianne
Just had my phone consultation with my Divorce Busting® Coach. It was very helpful. Basically I told him all my fears, my frustration that "nothing has changed" etc. He was extremely supportive and said that I was doing a fabulous job, and that I was not seeing just how much HAS changed. That Thursday in the kitchen was a big breakthrough where we not only related beautifully, but I challenged my husband's beliefs that he knows me and that I'll never change. That he is now free to choose me, since he's no longer shackled to the guilt that he ruined my life.
I feel so much better. I feel so relieved.
Honestly, I would highly recommend a Divorce Busting® Coach if anyone is feeling like they're flailing around and not sure what to do next. Not to sound like an infomercial, but both times I've talked with him I've felt a million times stronger and more centered.
"Hello, my name is Hector and I would like to give praise to my DIVORCEBUSTING coach. My wife left me (WOW) and I was really devastated. I was doing all the things you're NOT supposed to do: begging, crying, telling my wife that she really loved me, she just didn't know it, but was just confused and hurt, crowding her space.....it goes on and on. I heard about Divorce Busting® through a good friend and decided to make the phone call to Michele's office. What a great feeling!! Even the people who answer the phones and make those special telephone appointments for people, were kind and empathetic!!! I would like to give special mention to Keri, because when I called initially, I was pretty deep into my pit of despair and I really appreciated her patience and willingness to comfort me by telling me that the Coaches were great and that speaking to them would help. I think the staff at the Divorce Busting Center deserve the thanks of all the lonely, haggard and down-trodden people who are trying (imperfectly or not) to save their marriages.
My coach heard my story and then set out to tell me what I was doing wrong- which was quite a bit! She gave me hope, real hope that I could still salvage my car-wreck-of-a-marriage. She was tough and unapologetic and I really NEEDED that. You see, my family and friends meant well, but they were letting me soak in my misery. I needed to move on my problems and better myself, and my coach made me see that! I still have a ways to go, but now I feel a stronger sense of who I am and what I really want. I have never talked to Michele, but if her coaches are this good she must be Scary good!!! I am thankful to have found Divorce Busting® and I am especially thankful to have found Dotty, my coach.... You might make mistakes along the way, but with people like the Divorce Busting® Coaches around, the miracle of reconciliation with your spouse is ever possible!!!"
I am a recent recruit in the last four months to Divorce Busting, but I wanted to take a moment and acknowledge the efforts of the entire team. Over the last few months I have read every book written by you, attended the KLA seminar in March, and been a huge "loiterer" on the Divorce Busting® bulletin board.
I scheduled an appointment with a coach and was given the appropriate information to speak with Laurie yesterday. Laurie was very upbeat, cheerful, attentive and provided a tremendous boost of PMA for me. She pretty much affirmed that I am following the fundamental Divorce Busting® principles successfully and she also raised a few points that I had not thought about and promised to contemplate and act upon. And most of all CONTINUE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! We talked at length about the frustration level I am experiencing since I am an impatient person by nature. Laurie honestly stated the frustration will probably get worse before it gets better and to adjust my expectations and look for those baby steps and improvements and instead of seeking the grandiose gesture.
In her coaching, Laurie used her bright personality and insight to re-focus me on goal oriented approaches and I believe she helped position me so that there is the best possible change of success for the outcome of my marriage. She was able to balance my perspective as well as what my husband may be going through. I learned to look at a couple of situations through a "different set of eyes." She compassionately told me things I could be doing differently and provided some suggestions for retooling current efforts. She has a great sense of humor and we laughed several times throughout the consult. Especially in tense marital conflict it is hard to find someone who can balance the anger, hurt, despair with the powerful tool of laughter. I felt much inspired and dedicated to Divorce Busting® efforts after our conversation. I look forward to speaking with her again the near future.
Thank you and all the others in your organization for providing a service that helps us all to stand up for and preserve the sanctity of marriage.
We're getting back together!
As the heading indicates, my wife and I are getting back together, her words even. She actually said, 'So and so said they are so happy we are getting back together!'. I was doubtful often as to the outcome of our situation, but at this time, I must say that the outlook is as good as I can ever remember. The books say in different ways that if you make it to the other side, that the relationship will more than likely be better than it has ever been. This is yet to be seen, but has all the telltale signs of being true.
Marriage has to be one of the hardest things in the world, in that it is so much easier just to walk away from than it is to stand and fight for. That's what I believe that all this comes down to, the fight is not fun, pretty, or fair, and I guess if my marriage and family were not as important to me as they are, I might not have had the strength to get to here and to go on through the rebuilding that faces me. All of those out there still in the trenches of the battle, whether you feel you are making progress or are getting beaten, fight the good fight, because as we've all read, if at the end, no matter the outcome, you've done all you can, you will be the better person for it, and will have no self regrets.
I'm counting myself very lucky at this point, because my situation could have very easily gone the other direction. I have a few things to thank for where I am at this point. First and foremost is God, for showing me humility and leading me closer to him, so I could have the strength to do what I needed to do. Prayer is a powerful thing. I've learned this through the trials of the last eight months, and am a much better person for it. Don't knock prayer until you've tried it, there is always one that will listen to your needs. Divorce Remedy comes in second place for without it I wouldn't know the rules to this twisted game, and never would have had a chance. It, along with this bulletin board guided me not only into doing things that helped my relationship, but more often than not, stopped me from doing the things I was doing to sabotage it.
I'm not a huge fan of advertising, unless the product had a significant result for me. So it takes a lot for me to do this- the phone consultation I had with coach Laurie helped, and helped a lot. I had someone in my corner. If you can swing the fee, then I recommend it, even if all you can do is one time, that's all I did, and it helped a bunch.
Gem from my coach Laurie
I had a great conversation with Laurie this morning. I encourage you all who haven't yet decided to make that step to call for coaching - to just do it - you won't regret it.
But i wanted to share one really useful nugget she told me - so here it is.
She warned me to expect a backlash with my wife if we had a nice time, or an intimate moment. For example, If my wife and I have a tender cuddling moment or even make love - its very possible that the next day she will tell me "I don't want you to think that meant anything. It doesn't mean that I am not thinking/planning on leaving you." Your spouse will say this because they're scared and confused about their own feelings and they don't want to lie to you.
Laurie said its very important to watch for that backlash and its even more important how you react to it. Say something like "I know, I just enjoyed the moment." The worse thing you can do it react negatively.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all of this because I would not have thought about it and I would have gotten hurt by it. Now that I know what can happen, I'm prepared.
I was in a dark place this morning, was thinking that maybe I'd be better off if we did get divorced. I called to make a telephone consultation and was able to speak with Joann today.
I cannot tell you how much better I feel. In 50 minutes, I learned a lot about what I'm doing (or don't do) that keeps my husband distant.
All I can say is that if anyone is reading this, you should set up a phone consultation!! Some might think that they can't afford it at $130 a pop. However, divide that by 30 days and you've got $4.30 a day. Start making your own coffee instead of buying one at Starbucks and voila! you can have a telephone consultation once a month.
I just wanted to let you know what a wonderful consultation I just had with Dotty. She is a life (marriage) saver!! She helped me to see that there is definitely hope for my marriage and that my husband is clearly in a midlife crisis. I was getting totally frustrated, but Dotty helped me to see all the positive baby steps my h has been taking toward me. I now know I have to be patient and work on ME more. I KNOW my situation is going to work out! I feel so positive now! Thanks Dotty!!!"
This morning, I went to see a highly reputable family attorney in New York City to better explore my rights if my wife pursues a divorce. The attorney has 35 years of experience and charges $400 per hour--very reasonable for his experience in NY. Part of our discussion concerned my hope for reconciliation and the steps/advice I was taking per Divorce Busting® and my Divorce Busting® Coach Laurie. While I never mentioned Divorce Busting® specifically, the attorney remarked that whoever was advising me was giving me tremendous advice and probably represented my best hope for saving the marriage.
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