Gopher Stuck in Beaver Trap - DivorceBusting.com

My high school mascot was a Gopher. My wifes college mascot was a Beaver. Enough said.

I am on thread #12 and I really hope to be legally divorced before this one locks.

I have gone to the batting cages the last 3 days and am starting to dream of playing in the majors. I wonder if there has ever been someone 48+ years old that were called up to the majors as a rookie.

This weekend I was going to have to myself and I had planned to clean house, organize, shop for S7's upcoming birthday, and do a bit of work in the garden. However, I will be having the kids overnight on Saturday as W needs to help out as a waitress at her friends restaraunt and OM could not babysit. I would prefer to always have the kids whenever I can.

I also have talked recently to a nice new gal (G39) who I may meet this weekend. Her ex-H makes my W look like a saint. He cheated on her with multiple women while she was pregnant and kept albums of them. And he has never seen his daughter as his wearabouts are unknown.

I got some really difficult interrupt driven state machine style image compression code I created to succeed at my work yesterday. I am going to continue to put my nose to the grindstone on some other difficult coding tasks in the coming weeks as the opportunities for what I am creating are huge.

Quote:

I got some really difficult interrupt driven state machine style image compression code I created to succeed at my work yesterday.

Each of the sets of words are scary words...

Usually doing those tough assignments are a pain in the short term but are also the ones that get you recognized and open doors. Good luck.

take care,
AG

Hey AG,

FrankD over in MLC would most likely know exactly what I was talking about.

We tech geeks do have a lot of acronyms and terms, but I still think your legal profession has created just as many scary words. I imagine you probably can say "habeas corpus ad prosequendum" or "quasi in rem jurisdiction" just like it is a normal part of a conversation.

Geez.. Kerry..

The only word I know is "technogeekoid" at term he would use to describe himself at times.

Whatcha doing for the birthday party?

*hugs*

I wanted to do a birthday party at an archery shop that would give each kid a lesson on their indoor range, but W had already setup something at a movie theater to watch Beverly Hills Chihauhua.

Originally Posted By: KerryK

I got some really difficult interrupt driven state machine style image compression code I created to succeed at my work yesterday. I am going to continue to put my nose to the grindstone on some other difficult coding tasks in the coming weeks as the opportunities for what I am creating are huge.

Sounds like you're trying to do multiple images or video streams at once perhaps? I hear the state machine stuff, writing something to emulate threads when you have no threads and it has to fit in a few k of rom is a b*tch.

Now, try doing something similar in a web server that has no state. You have a whole new can of worms.

Hey Kerry:

Quote:

We tech geeks do have a lot of acronyms and terms,

I know... I am a tech geek myself... I am a patent attorney... But I still am scared of that combination of words - even after reading frankD's explanation!

As for those scary professional legal words - I have no idea what ad prosequendum means!!!

take care,
AG

Frank has it pretty correct - it is image streams and most specifially fax images. Interrupt driven pretty much entails using a state machine in leau of threading if you want to have decent performance. Otherwise, you could just dump all interrupt data into a queue and let some other thread deal with it in non real time. And the code I am writing now has to be portable so it does not know the operating system or processor it is running on. Yuck.

The web server stuff is a mess when you spread it all out over a farm. The other guy I work with does a lot of the connection/session oriented service stuff across multiple servers similar to a web server, but instead as a fax server. I also wrote a smaller version of a web server so our end users did not have to use a full blown Apache or IIS which is more difficult to manage. The web server I wrote, besides just serving up html, was still powerful enough to run web applications and services using asp.net hosting. I kind of took the Cassini sample and made it much more functional.

Kerry,

I have no idea what you are talking about. I thought your snake got caught in some beavers' trap from your title and started reading excited about any developments... And then I get hit with all the unknown words... SIGH!!! I dont believe I am saying this, but fishing sounds a better topic for me right now. At least I can understand half of what you are saying...
xxxx
K

Originally Posted By: KerryK

Interrupt driven pretty much entails using a state machine in leau of threading if you want to have decent performance.

Kalni, Let me try to translate ... I think Kerry means a new way of DBing where you use a mechanical device owned by the state instead of these threads to improve your performance (in bed of course). And by interrupt driven he means before the snake gets trapped by the beaver you ...

fb2,
thanks. That sounds... reasonable?
K

I should not be talking about my boring work on my time off. If life was fair, computer programmers would be more popular than rock stars.

AG - I have nothing against patent attorney's as we have used them before, but it is the patent office that has made it way to easy for someone to get a patent for something like a cup of water. In the tech industry, it is not until after you create a product that you find out that someone already holds a patent on a concept that your product uses. And even if you had that concept in your product before the patent, you still have to spend countless legal fees to prove prior art. The worst one in my specific business is that there is a patent on storing a fax on the hard drive of a computer. And the entity that holds that patent will only choose to enforce it when other companys reach a certain level of profit. Why the patent office granted this obvious concept is not justified. For all we know, this very web site could be violating a patent and Michelle may need to dig deep in her wallet in the future.

Originally Posted By: KerryK

I have gone to the batting cages the last 3 days and am starting to dream of playing in the majors. I wonder if there has ever been someone 48+ years old that were called up to the majors as a rookie.

KK- The St Paul Saints (International League BBall) had a 47 yo rookie pitcher this year. He was a knuckleballer. So there is hope......:)

i love the saints

i have never actually been able to score tickets but the tailgating is to die for!!!!!

Hey Kerry:

I smiled when I saw your post. I was going to post to you about whether you had consulted a patent attorney.

Up until last spring - it was easy to get a patent for a cup of water. I myself have argued to get such patents allowed. The Supreme Ct got very annoyed with us patent attorneys and re-defined the definition of obvious to where nothing appears to be patentable right now...and that has thrown my profession into a state of disarray... The cup of water standard no longer applies in the US. I use to have a 100% success rate with the patents I argued. I have not had a single software patent allowed since last spring.

Quote:

In the tech industry, it is not until after you create a product that you find out that someone already holds a patent on a concept that your product uses. And even if you had that concept in your product before the patent, you still have to spend countless legal fees to prove prior art.

I know... That is where strategy comes in...

Quote:

The worst one in my specific business is that there is a patent on storing a fax on the hard drive of a computer.

I am going to assume that the scenario you have described is a hypothetical situation that you are presenting to me for comment. There are strategies available to counter such situations - but you will need a good patent attorney that has experience beyond just drafting patents. There are differences in how you approach this problem based on whether you are a big corporation or a smaller company. But unfortunately it costs money.

Quote:

And the entity that holds that patent will only choose to enforce it when other companys reach a certain level of profit.

The law requires that if an entity finds out that someone is infringing a patent - they must inform the infringing party within a "reasonable" period of time. If they wait till the other side makes profits and then sue - the courts typically will not award the profits to the patent holder. And it is possible that the patent may even be deemed unenforceable against that party..not a 100% on where the law is today on this.

Now that being said - we probably should not talk about hypotheticals here. I prefer that even hypothetical discussions occur in an environment where there is attorney/client privilege.

take care,
AG

The storing of a fax on the hard drive is indeed a valid patent and we paid some big bucks to have the right to use it. On the plus side, we used to pay royaltys for the LZW compression (used in things like gif file) and fortunately 17 years has now expired.

I am glad that you were able to resolve things and while you had to pay - your business was not shut down.

Us patent attorneys are a paranoid bunch. Part of my job is to characterize and protect documents/discussion so that in the event of litigation - I can protect my client's data from discovery requests from opposing counsel.

I was not sure where you were in the process - that is why I referred to your situation as a hypothetical. I did not mean to imply that you were making up things.

take care,
AG

I had a nice meetup with a new G39 tonight. She is very nice. Small world too as her uncle has been good friends for a long time with my cousin. Portland is not that big of town after all.

New G39? Ok, I am confused...
K

Kalni,

I'm assuming "Girl, age 39". But I know what "ASSUME" means - LOL!

Kerri,

Good luck. I started venturing out about a year after ex lived. Some thought it was BAD since the D was not yet final. But when your walkaway lives with OP and the D is in the works - not much chance it's going to change. And I hope things go well for you.

Keep us posted,

Barb

I should clarify - G with a number stands for GIRL and not GOPHER. I had been seeing a G41 but we kind of lost contact. This new G39 is going to become a G40 next sunday. I wonder if hitting the big four oh is more tramatic for women than men.

It has been almost a year since I found out my W was in contact with multiple men. And it has been even longer that she had caught an STD and started her lies to me. I feel more than ready to get out and do activities in the company of an honorable lady with morals.

My goal this week is to find a cool chemistry kit for my soon to be S8.

Kerry..

Thank you for the G with a number stands for Girl not Gopher. Please advise what B with a number means, just in case it shows up (knowing your love of... beavers).

How do you tell an honorable lady? In my current state I'm a bit too wigged out to know anything more than impressions.. he seems nice, or he seems icky. Most of my interactions are as follows.. plain text is what I say, italics is what I think

Hello!

Please note I am a unisex person.

It's nice to meet you. Strange weather we're having.

I'm a weenie.. that's just the way I am.. keep smiling

Do I think you look bald?

gulp.. think of a quick rejoinder, but don't say

Hey, I could write notes on your dome!

Oops.. how'd that get out there.. ahh.. he's laughing.. he has a good sense of humor. Why am I blushing?

Uhh.. yeah.. that was fun.. gotta go!

Run.. run.. run for your life!!!!

I have to work a little more on my skillz.

Have fun!

*hugs*

Kerry: There are many fine women out there and you are so right to go out with those who have morals. Obviously - that is who YOU are.

Our children are our most imporant people. I hope you have good luck with the set for your son. Do you have a good hobby store near you? Or a Museum or Smithsonian? Online is a great source as well.

Barb

Gypsy, I dont want to overthink too much when meeting someone new - my brain already has too much dust and cobwebs. I think it best to go through the dating stages in order. Any girl that wants to skip ahead to the intimacy stage with me is going too fast. I fear that this latest G39.99 may end up wanting to move too quick, but it is still early to tell that. I have told her, that from my past, I have been more comfortable at being friends for many months instead of rushing ahead like I did with my W. With my W, I should have seen the signs early on when we started dating - she did not like outdoors, she admitted to being a bad party girl in high school and college, she was in a desperate situation of being out of immigration status and she was too quick to jump in the sack. It was the jumping in the sack that got my second "guy" brain to take over and lose some common sense.

I found some chemistry sets at a science museum, but they are a bit pricey so I will shop around some more this week at some hobby stores. In my search online, I came across this twisted one...

http://www.strangepolice.com/images/content/112262.jpg

Kerry..

When it comes to twisted.. you're brilliant.

*hugs*

Kerry, my friend. I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. I have to admit, I fast-forwarded through the tech talk, so I'm really not sure what you three were talking about.

I perked up again when dating and women were mentioned, so at least I know I'm still a man.

Again, it sounds like you are doing very, very well.

RTL

Thanks RTL,

Your situation is so frustrating. I really still believe that everything is going to turn out ok for you in the long run.

I have been dialoging quite a bit with G39 and will probably go out the next 2 kidless nights with her. She has gotten me started on texting with a cell phone which is pretty new for an old fashioned guy like myself. Some of our candid conversations back and forth seems so very similar to Kalni and Woog. I like it and her, but must proceed with extreme caution.

As for W, she called me late last night with printer problems. I tried to help out over the phone, but could not figure it out. She then called and asked if I could go over to OM's house (yeah right) or she could come over the next night to have me look further into it. I told her that I will have time to look at it on the weekend. She then started crying and getting angry at me saying how I must be laughing that her life has become a mess. I hung up on her because once she starts attacking me, I consider that a civil conversation has ended. I called her this morning and suggested bringing it by early in the morning after she drops the kids off at school tomorrow. I think she understood that I have my own personally life and that I am offering reasonable assistance.

No word for a week now on anything from the L's.

Kerry,

So I take it OM is not good with technology? If he is her "guy" now, shouldn't he be her "rescuer"? But good for you for being the mature, dignified man you are and not going there...

Funny she thinks you would be laughing that her life has become a mess. Must mean SHE thinks that her life has become a mess? Projecting, huh...

You handled it well, as I already said. Enjoy your nights with G39.

I think she is admitting that her life has indeed become a mess.

A couple of days ago I found myself defending OM a bit. D6 was saying that mommy was never going to marry OM because he was bald. I had to tell D6 that there was nothing wrong with being bald and that she should not point that out to him.

Yesterday when eating dinner, the kids were asking me why I dont want to meet and dod things with OM. How do you answer that one? I had to bite my lip and not say "Because he is a dishonorable wife stealing SOB".

Originally Posted By: KerryK

Some of our candid conversations back and forth seems so very similar to Kalni and Woog.

Hmmmm, I could tell you where that leads but only if you or her moved to Europe...

On your xW's "messed up life"... I often think I would like it better to see my xH happy and thrilled with his new status because I would see with my own eyes that he "exchanged" me for a better life which would be understandable... Being exchanged for "nothing" (as it seems), still hurts sometimes...
Love
K

Kerry, I don't know how W has the gall to ask you to fix her printer! Why not tell her you won't have time to get to it for the next 6 months as you are working overtime on your interrupt driven state machine; perhaps OM can call in the Geek Sqad. G39.99 sounds like her biological clock is going tic-toc.
On another note I stopped at B&N on a kidless night after dinner and read "Hold on to you NUTS" cover to cover in 2 hours. I think this is a quick inexpensive way to read such books instead of the ton of these books I've bought at home which I'm still reading. Page 54 says it's also good for divorced men. what are some of you NUTS? especially liked the idea of linking the W's # to "opportunity" on my cell phone. I too have never "texted" in my life from a cell phone. But recently I got a new upgraded phone that let's me e- mail and post on DB. I'm lying in bed posting to you.

Kerry, How will you celebrate S8's birthday? My S7 will turn 8 in a month so I have to have a small party for him - this was W's territory so I'm a bit at a loss and looking for suggestions.

Hey fb2..

Kids parties R me!

One birthday party my son's friends still talk about (16 years later) was when I brought in loads of refrigerator, stove, appliance boxes which I got from a local appliance store. I made them into a maze in our unfinished basement. I'd leave the flaps open rather than jamming all the boxes into one another so that they'd have open areas to peek out (yell, hoot.. do boy things).

At the time "Legend of Zelda" was very popular so I'd placed everyday objects in the maze they had to find. Each boy was given one object.. I gave some goofy explanation so it had meaning. A spoon for the kid who liked to stir things up, a whisk for the kid who was so fast, Indian corn for the kid who like corny jokes.. etc.. I had them go in one at a time to find their object. Once they'd all done that they got to have their own fun time.

I had stuff they could use to decorate it (uhhh.. didn't work so well), Silly String (worked too well!). I figure just think of fun things to do and go with it. They had a blast and ended up creating their own maze designs.

It's cheap, fun and tossable.

Another was a video game party where I rented/borrowed at least three different platforms for the kids to play with whatever the hottest games were on the market. The kids separated into groups. After a certain amount of time (and sharing that time) they moved to another station. When they got too antsy we played run around til you burn off energy games and I let them back in. This was in December. If they were old enough, it ended with a sleepover with a movie and fun stuff to eat.

Depending on they wanted, I had a ghost story or some funny story (I usually made up on the fly).

Now I'll return the thread.

*hugs*

They had a blast and ended up creating their own maze designs.

It's cheap, fun and tossable.

We are having the party at a movie theater which has a party room. After pizza and cake, they all will watch Beverly Hills Chihuahau. Maybe next year we will have it at an archery shop which will give the kids instruction on their indoor range.

Last year we had it a Bowling birthday and the pizza place next door was where presents, pizza and cake was done. The night after last years party I found out that I had a drunk tramp for a wife.

G39.999's clock may indeed be ticking. We had a good time last night shopping at a cool hobby store, dinner and then browsing a book store. I probably talked with her for well over an hour on the phone after I got home. We are going to a relaxed pizza place tonight to play some scrabble. English is not her native language, but I suspect she is going to kick my butt as she has an English Literature degree.

I fixed W's printer this morning when she stopped by and she thanked me several times.

I did not think the NUTs part of the book was as good as the 8 bettermen tools. I suppose that I should come up with some more NUTs besides the one of not holding a womans purse while she shops.

G & K, Thanks for the b-day tips - its got to be low-cost and manageable to not lose my N.U.T.S or go nuts! Kerry make sure G39.9999 (one more decimal place since I've taken a while to respond) can handle the outdoors - take her camping in the wilderness and then on a long hike in the mountains - something like Yosemite Vernal falls in Winter and see if you can hold on to your NUTS before you become a sperm donor!

Kerry,

That is so cool that G39.9999 and you are hitting it off so well. Good luck w/ the Scrabble game. Remember, you are a techno-nerd who knows real useless words that could baffle most of us at Scrabble. Use them...unless you're planning on sharking her a bit by losing some games on purpose to draw her in.

Thanks for your support on my sitch. I think I'll be ok in the long run as well. Financially I'm screwed and need the house to sell ASAP, but that will only be temporary as even if it takes a few years, I'll be on my feet financially very soon. I just need this book to close quickly so I can step forward.

Finally, your STBX is a bit of a loon. Come over to E.D.'s place? Yeah, right. Next time she has a technical issue direct her to the Geek Squad at the nearest Best Buy.

RTL

Hey kerry,

just saying hi. i wouldn't have fixed the printer. there are perfectly adequate services to do that for her - you don't need to offer that service, IMO.

Will you ever get more cats? I'm still sad about your last ones.

The Scrabble got canceled tonite as G39.9999's sister in law had a baby tonight. Looks like maybe just one day next week to see her as I have my golf lesson on the other off day without the kids - I have a new NUT - I dont cancel golf lessons for dating.

She told me that when we play scrabble, that I am not allowed to use any computer words.

I think this gal likes the outdoors as she has already suggested a hike to go on.

Fb2 - you cracked me up about the sperm donor remark. It brought back a memory about the discussion of precious bodily fluids and women seeking the life essence from Dr Strangelove...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0he-LZNzVg0

Hi Kerry!

I play Scrabble all the time. They say it is extremely good at warding off Alzheimers and heck - I need all the help I can get - LOL!

You can't use words that are not in the Scrabble dictionary. It really helps to get one.

Josh (BF of 4 years) and I play it all the time. It is a challenge because he is good at it too. But I play to win.

And I like your attitude. This is the time of your life to put "you" first for a change. If golf is your thing - don't compromise. Just do it!

Barb

Hey kerry,

regarding the science kit, maybe you should see if your son is a potential Hungry Scientist:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0061238686/notcot-20

Hi Lodo -

I will not get that book for the boy. That will be a book for ME!!! The boy can watch as I try some of those cool experiments.

We may get more cats in the future. I will make sure the next ones dont hang outside at night much because the coyotes are now out in force. It has been over a week since I have seen my fat feral rabbit friend and I wonder if it finally got eaten after over 3 years hanging around the neighborhood. It always let me pet it as I was one that feed it squirrel food.

Kerry..

Let me know how the book works out. Not that I'm asking you to be my guinea pig.. *eyeing the squirrel food*

Your life sounds interesting and amazing.. good for you!

*hugs*

Hey Kerry,

Thought you could appreciate this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4

lodo..

I loved it.. what a riot!

Lodo, that is a good one and I have sent the links to the other geeks in my company.

We had a nice birthday party and the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movie was excellent - could it win the Oscar for best picture over The Dark Knight? When opening the presents, I commented that all of the girls from S8's class were surrounding him while the other boys engaged in horseplay.

Today, W was very rude to me when she came over to have D6 practice violin and take S8 to Chinese language school. She thought I had not pushed the kids enough to brush their teeth and pick up their toys. Before she had shown up, I already had to put D6 in her room for a time out as she threw something at her brother, so things were a bit hectic but I was relaxing watching a tiny bit of Gridiron while the kids played with a marble toy in the living room. She started into me with accusations that I was off with a Harem of internet girls and that I was going to abandon my kids and that I was breaking their schedule for letting them stay up a little later (9:30) the last two nights and having them shower in the morning this weekend and nag, nag, nag....

There is only so much a man should take when he is in his own home and I reminded her that she is a guest in my house and needs to respect me if she would like to continue to be invited in. I also told her that I dont come over to OM's house and start dictating how she spends her time with the kids. And I did remind her that she was the one responsible for the breakup of the family and it is none of her business now, or in the future, of my private life. I reassured her that when the kids are with me that I will never get a babysitter so as to spend time with a date and that I am continuously trying to keep the kids happy and that if ever she needs to work overtime when she has the kids that I am more than happy to break any dates to spend time with them.

She started tearing up after realizing she had no justification to be rude to me. I also detected some jealousy in her voice upon my not denying that I have gone out on dates. I also get the feeling her world is crashing down in her mind and physical health. It is really hard for me to have much pity for her now - maybe much later on after all the financial dust settles.

I also received a letter via my L from the county and we have a pre hearing on Nov 2 and a finaly court date on Nov 20. It would be nice to settle before all this, but I now finally have date of when I can get this marriage over with.

D6 lost another tooth today when I took her ice skating. I am trying the trick tonight with the glass of water for the tooth fairy to dip her wings in and I told D6 that I saw in the news that the Tigard tooth fairy has been reported to have a hole in her purse. Should be fun to see her reaction in the morning.

G40 (today was her birthday) and I must have talked for over 3 hours last night on the phone. Never in my life have I spent so much time having excellent conversations with someone of the opposite sex. We were kidding around that according to Chinese astrology, a Rat (myself) and a Monkey (her) are supposed to be ideal for each other. And this is the year of the Rat which is supposed to be very good for people that are Rats. She is a very good lady with high morals, a strong caring family and a good work ethic.

Hey Kerry..

Nice boundary setting and defining parameters for your private life with your wife. She's probably figured out by now why y'all are in separate households.

You talked for three hours on the phone with G40? What do you attribute that to?

What did you daughter think this morning about the tooth fairy?

*hugs*

G40 and I only talked for 2 hours last night on the phone.

Both kids were pretty excited this morning to discover all the signs of the tooth fairy.

Self-guilt projected onto you. You handled it well.

Congratulations on G40 -- enjoy it!

Good morning, Kerry!

You sound great and very well grounded. You are rebuilding after the wreck your wife made. You have every right to raise the children in your own home with your rules and she is wrong to think she has any say in it unless there is a REAL problem. I was married when each of my kids was the age of yours but sometimes they stayed up late and sometimes they made a mess but they were well taken care of. Too much rigidity does not make a child's life better.

Sounds like things are also going well on the dating scene. I spent much time on the phone getting to know prospective dates. It made the "in person" time much more comfortable and I was able to learn much more about them. Josh and I still spend a few hours a week on the phone since we don't live in the same city.

And yes - she is jealous. Even 4 years later, after our divorce and our remarriage, Chuck displayed jealous tendencies. You see - it is ok for them to have someone new but they seem to think we are going to be too shattered to pick up the pieces.

You handled everything extremely well. And on top of it - you are obviously enjoying being a parent - quite obvious about your posts of chemistry sets, birthday parties and the tooth fairy. All the wonderful aspects of being involved in your children's lives.

Kudos to you, Kerry - you have moved on quite well and it will be even smoother once the D is final. Your boundary setting with W is excellent. You are a good role model for others.

Have a great Monday!

Barb

Kerry, sounds like things are going pretty good and you are practicing some great boundaries. Peace.

Thanks Barb for the Kudos.

When W said that she didn't want to disrupt the kids routine of showering at night, I just had to point out that she had already been the cause of a much bigger disruption in their lives by having them now live in 2 different homes.

I like my more relaxing time with the kids now on the weekend. When W lived with us, it was always a hurry up and lets get out of the house to go shopping or get an early seat to eat lunch somewhere. She is the type where when I drove into a parking lot, she had to get out and rush to a door of a restaurant to get ahead of anyone else that might be currently in the process of parking. I never understood the hurry or the rigid routines, but I tolerated it.

Kerry,
what are the KUDOS and why dont I ever get some? Can you "link me" to the explanation please?
S

Kudos are another term for praise. They also are a declicious candy bar. I am hoping over to Kalni's thread to give Kudos to her.

"I just had to point out that she had already been the cause of a much bigger disruption in their lives by having them now live in 2 different homes."
Imagine how not too long ago some of us would be listening, validating and then listening some more ;-) The school C told me that in my house the kids follow my rules (or lack thereof). Why do you even let W into your house now? It's inviting Trouble in my opinion. G39.9999 turned G40 ... I guess that stops the clock? She's now G40.001 on the number line?

Hey kerry,

Just doing a driveby hello with my latest link for you. It feels good when you dismiss your STBXW's bs, doesn't it?

Ok - this is a game that is how it should be - in a foreign language, low resolution graphics, and no instructions. Enjoy!

http://www.videlectrix.com/wheresanegg.html

Hi Fb2 -

I am kind of walking on eggshells while we are still in negotiations for the final D. Once that is signed, I plan to tell her that she is to get the rest of her things from the house and I will not take the excuse that she has no place to keep them. She will have plenty of money to buy a storage unit. I also will tell her that she is not invited in my home ever again.

The cool thing about time is that Kerry's to G40.001's age ratio is getting smaller and smaller. I suppose the same could be said of OM's 68 to W's 37 but that is still a pretty big ratio. And the funnier thing is that when W is my age, her OM will be 79!

Kerry:

I sit here reading your post and nodding my head. I did not "rock the boat" when we were in D negotiations. But when I bought my new house I made it clear he was NEVER to set foot in it. I want my home to be peaceful and ALL MINE!

About the age differences. WOW - that is funny! I did not want to date Josh when I first learned of his birthday - same as Chuck's but then it hit me - he is 10 years younger - OH BONUS!!! 79??? Oh what a hoot that is.

Barb

Kerry,

EXCELLENT work on the boundaries. That is what I'm learning for myself and you, as always, have set a great example to follow. I hope you don't mind if I cut and paste that speech of yours into my memory.

As for the long phone calls, it is really cool. You two are acting like teenagers - at least the type of teenagers who used to actually talk on the phone for hours instead of IM, text, e-mail, etc.

Very cool. Nice work.

The end of your D will allow your gloves to come off and that too will be good for you.

Nov. 20 is really just right around the corner, my man.

RTL

Hey Kerry..

This a question for you and most of the guys.

Most divorced women I meet will tell me to take time to enjoy living my life without a man, at least for a bit.

Most married women friends (of all ages) say that if their husband were to die, they would date but never remarry because it's such a hassle. This is something they'd said even before my divorce proceeding.

Women seem to want space after a divorce while men seem to jump into lots of dating and not wanting to alone? Is it a guy thing?

Inquiring minds want to know!

*hugs*

Gypsy - The ones I know on here that are out seeing new ladies are myself, Mike in Tennessee and Arthur in England. I think for us, we have realized that our wives were not all that great after all and we know there are much better ladies such as yourself to spend our spare time with. One of the divorced ladies I have dated waited 2 years before starting to date. It could be that women get a longer lasting bitter taste from the betrayal by their husbands and they are afraid to have a repeat. I think there is also the factor that us guys have a desire to make a woman happy. It is much easier to give than to receive. Venus and Mars stuff...

And RTL is right - I feel like a teenager now as in addtion to phone calls and dates, I am texting (something new for me) and IM'ing the latest G40 (gasstationmanager40). We had a great time playing scrabble at a pizza place last night (I lost). She called when I got home and we talked for over an hour. She is coming by my house on Saturday with her D4 and we are driving to Eugene to visit with her brother's family. I feel so at ease with this beautiful and intelligent lady and we both have told each other that while I am still legally married that we are going to remain at bat and not start rounding any bases.

There is some anticipation on my part that my D may be final before Nov 20, but I got the latest offer from W's L yesterday and they still are asking too much for a spousal lump sum payout (I say 30K and they want 55K). I also have mentioned to my L that we may want to use the recently reduced value of the retirement and house to help leverage against them some. We got them to agree to our division of assets value as they were trying to split my checking again and throw in an extra 6K for household items which we had already split. The are letting me have the child deductions and credits on my taxes as W cant use them anyway. Besides my paying child support, I am responsible for the kids health care, school fees and music lessons. I also must maintain life insurance for myself which I already had.

Quote:

Women seem to want space after a divorce while men seem to jump into lots of dating and not wanting to alone? Is it a guy thing?

there are lots of women here doing the same thing. They are dating as soon as the D is final if not before. It's not just a guy thing..it's a lonely thing.

I'm not sure your assumptions are correct. I know a number of D'd women who began dating soon after splitting, some even before the D was final.

But put me in the "teenager again" category, also. My new R with my W feels that way. We text/email each other several times a day and call and chat when we can. I used to never do that, but I look forward to the little pick-me-ups, especially when the work day seems to drag on forever. Our couples nights feel much more like dates than they used to, also.

gforce,
we said divorced or to be divorced, you dont count...

Kerry, you do sound like a teenager. I am glad. It feels good, doesnt it? Like there is life in you that you thought didnt exist...
And I think "dating time" is more of a sitch thing. In some cases people use it to overcome the hurt, in others people cant date unless the hurt has subsided...
Speaking for myself, I couldnt date someone just for the fun of it. I would need more. Some kind of a special connection. And that of course limits a lot the "interesting men".
Thank God I got lucky... $;\)$
K

W seems to be fishing for what I am doing in my spare time. She left a message this morning asking if I would teach S8 this Saturday how to grow crystals but nervously acknowleged that I may have other plans. She will probably ask again when she calls me this afternoon and I will just say that I am going to be out of town on Saturday. I know her and she will press for more. I will just have to say it is personal and that I had my Saturday planned from earlier this week.

Kalni, I am not really dating just for fun - my goal is to find the special someone to love and grow old together with. Someone to share a family with. Dating many women can get to be a drag because you always have to go through the same get to know you stage. I believe in destiny and I hope my intuitions are right - G40 seems special and she seems to like me a lot just as I like her. She has even told me recently that she wants to have a relationship with me that possibly leads to marriage someday.

There was no way for me to have figured my W would have turned out as she had and I would marry the person she was again, but after a much longer dating period. I am so thankful to have had a good marriage with her for over 8 years regardless of some of her faults. We still have 2 great kids that will always be ours.

This weekends day trip to duck land should be interesting. I am looking forward to meeting G40's brother as he works for a software company (which I had done contract project for) and is in an interracial marriage just as I. Her daughter (4) has talked a few times with me on the phone and she sure is not very shy. This little girls father has not seen her for over 3 years which is something that I just cannot relate with. That guy must be a real piece of...

Kerry,
I didnt mean YOU were dating just for fun. I have noticed you said before "my next wife" and that means you are lookig for a solid R and feel ready for it.
I have nothing against dating for fun, I have in the past, I just feel this whole experience left me asking for more. And prepared me to give more.
I know we will both get what we deserve... (that sounded scary)
xxx
K

Kerry, W might want you to teach S8 crystals because she has other plans - maybe going to the club or out to a picnic with OM. I experienced this with my W until I established firm boundaries.

Kalni, you and I are probably very similar in what we want now. I am staying in Oregon for the beach, but Idaho is awesome with its super dry snow and beautiful mountains.

Some people enjoy playing the field, but I am not one of them. When I meet someone that I go out with for more than 2 dates, I just cant feel comfortable going out on dates with others.

Fb2 - I know that W has gotten a babysitter before when she has had the kids on the weekend. I cant let how she spends her time with the kids bother me, and yes, establishing firm boundaries in my private life is important.

Kerry,

First of all, I'm stoked by your G40 situation. Really, really cool!

Also, I'm so incredibly happy for gForce because his situation is very cool and what we were all striving for at one time (if not still now for some of us out there). Peter, your new R w/ your W is a blessing and I'm glad you have been able to get there. Keep working and keep the love growing, my man.

Kerry I also get what you mean about the dating thing. I've been out on a few, but quite honestly, unless my socks are knocked off, I'm not interested in starting anything. To date, I've not met anyone who seems interested in me that I'd consider someone who I'd like to date long-term and seriously.

There are candidates that would like me to want to date them seriously, but it would seem fake and wouldn't be fair to them either. I'm like you, I don't want to round the bases just to round the bases. That is hurtful at this stage in the game. So, I'll get into the batter's box, but mostly for friendship right now.

I've decided to not settle for anything less than what I deserve. So, when I find it, I'll be ready. Until then, I'll be very picky, but polite. I'm not into the use 'em and lose 'em set up.

RTL

Originally Posted By: RefuseToLose

Kerry,

First of all, I'm stoked by your G40 situation. Really, really cool!

Also, I'm so incredibly happy for gForce because his situation is very cool and what we were all striving for at one time (if not still now for some of us out there). Peter, your new R w/ your W is a blessing and I'm glad you have been able to get there. Keep working and keep the love growing, my man.

Kerry I also get what you mean about the dating thing. I've been out on a few, but quite honestly, unless my socks are knocked off, I'm not interested in starting anything. To date, I've not met anyone who seems interested in me that I'd consider someone who I'd like to date long-term and seriously.

There are candidates that would like me to want to date them seriously, but it would seem fake and wouldn't be fair to them either. I'm like you, I don't want to round the bases just to round the bases. That is hurtful at this stage in the game. So, I'll get into the batter's box, but mostly for friendship right now.

I've decided to not settle for anything less than what I deserve. So, when I find it, I'll be ready. Until then, I'll be very picky, but polite. I'm not into the use 'em and lose 'em set up.

RTL

RTL/Kerry..this is exactly my attitude. By no means do I want another R right now. I do enjoy having women who seem interested in me as that is a first in my life or the first time it has been blatantly obvious to me. I just want to go out, date and have a good time..I'm after nothing else...

Well, fellas, here it is.
Sometimes a girl just feels a little randy, and does not wish to put up with all the hassle a R entails. I'm starting to see why some people have EA's/PA's. It's never quite black or white, just many shades of gray.
Kerry, your trip south sounds like it should be a good time for you. Have fun. Watch out for Ducks. Peace.

Originally Posted By: goldeylox

Well, fellas, here it is.
Sometimes a girl just feels a little randy, and does not wish to put up with all the hassle a R entails. I'm starting to see why some people have EA's/PA's. It's never quite black or white, just many shades of gray.
Kerry, your trip south sounds like it should be a good time for you. Have fun. Watch out for Ducks. Peace.

I'm learning this fast too. Seems as many women out there that are after a bit of 'hows ya father' as there are men. I think people just like to tar us men as shallow sometimes but some of the women that have come onto me have been so blatantly after one thing. That's cool, but they need place as not sure my mum would like me bringing back all sorts !!! lol

We all need a little bit of loving sometimes and I think after a certain age that a few months without starts to really get to you

I am experiencing a little Twilight zone episode. W just stopped by my work and gave me a new pair of pants that she bought for me.

I called her up after she drove off and asked why she is giving me gifts when we are getting a divorce. She said she wants me to look nice for all the ladies I am now seeing. I told her it makes me feel uncomfortable to have her give me things and she said it is just in her nature to buy me things. She now assumes that she wont have me to help her with her computer problems. I told her that she needs to become less dependent upon me because we are going to be divorced very soon.

Also, S8 was having emotional problems today concentrating at his day care house where he normally does advanced math. W thinks it is because he saw part of a funny scary movie (Killer Clowns from Outer Space) that D6 and I watched last weekend. I think it is because some kids at school were making fun of his mixed race appearance and that they think he looks like a girl he likes a lot in his class that is chinese. I told S8 to ask them to stop making fun of him and to try and understand how they would feel if they went to asia and all the kids there made fun of them because of the way they looked. I am going to send his teacher an email to see if she has noticed anything out of the ordinary.

Also, I think he is disturbed about the divorce and he wants to do some of the chemistry lab and rock crystal sets that I got for him, but he is staying with his mom for the 5 day stretch. He is a sensitive boy and I worry about him a lot. I will make some time by myself with him when they stay with me next Mon/Tue so as to have a good father and son talk. And I will take them to the beach the following weekend to have some fun.

Strange interaction w/W. She wants you to look good for the ladies? What is that?

Sorry your S is having troubles. I have a very sensitive S6 and I worry a lot about how our Marriage issues will affect him in the long run...

Happy Friday, anyway...

Quote:

Strange interaction w/W. She wants you to look good for the ladies? What is that?

Why that is Batchitt Crazy..

Kerry, Why accept them??

Hey kerry,

FWIW, I'll give my $.02. Your W is just assuaging her guilt. She's saying, "I know I've been a sh*t, but I don't know what I need and am sorry I hurt you & kids in the process of trying to find myself." Expect more.

I'm glad to see how you act towards the boy. You and I have never discussed this, but my father did not do this when my parents were D'ing and I carried misconceptions well into my 30s.

I'm surprised that mixed asian heritage is an issue in Oregon. Maybe I'm too used to the Bay Area?

BTW, I saw your posts that included some stuff on imaging. I know this isn't what you deal with, but did you see the cool new tech in the new photoshop?

http://swissmiss.typepad.com/weblog/2008/10/photoshop-conte.html

lodo

Lodo - That content aware scaling is really awesome! I was amazed at how the volkswagon was squished without any distortion of the wheels. I only showed W how to use Microsoft Digital Imaging Pro for her photo editing. Photoshop would be a bit overwhelming for her.

Mixed asian heritage is not an issue here - I think it is just that kids find things different with each other and sometimes tease about the differences. There also may be some jealousy toward my son because he is quite a ways ahead academically.

I found out from G40 that all of the mixed race asians in Vietnam were so shunned that three years ago they were all sponsored away or kicked out. They came over in droves to the USA and surronding countries. Speaks volumes about diversity in a communist country. It is completely opposite in nearby Thailand where mixed race asians are successful in the pop culture.

Talked to W again and S8 is upbeat now. She also told me that there was no hidden agenda behind getting me the pants. She says when she shops for the kids she always thinks of me and she so wants to remain friends with me. One of these days I am going to ask her if she has ever heard of the term "Batchitt Crazy".

Mike, I tried to tell her I did not want them but she insisted that I take them as it makes her "feel good to help me out". I had told her I had to take a pair of pants earlier this week to the tailor to replace the zipper and that I only had 2 pair of long pants that I regularly wear. She must have felt sorry for me.

If she wants to help me out, she should drop her greedy demands for me to pay her spousal support when it is apparent she does not need it. She has been living with OM for 9 months and I have not paid her any money which is proof in itself that she is surviving ok without spousal support.

What she needs, deserves, or can get -- all very different when D'ing. It sounds like your W is out to see what she "can get" out of you.

My impression is the pants comment was to tell you she knows you are interacting with other women now, and to see what kind of information and reaction you would have in response.

I talked with W on the phone this morning. Lodo is correct in his analysis. She thinks that I am going to slowly forget all about my kids as I get a new family in my life. I think she is going off of what happened with OM and his kids. That scumbag and I are completely different fathers. I also detect some regret and jealousy even though I am not telling her any details of OW. She seems to be hurting badly (mentally and physically) and she admits that she was a bad wife and mother as she is now starting to see the consequences of her actions. As I told her a long time ago, she was making a sh!t sandwich that she was going to have to eat someday.

G40, her cute D4 and I had a good time traveling to visit with her brother's family yesterday. His 4 kids (D11, S8, S5 and S3) are all homeschooled and are great kids that are given responsibilites in the family. I was impressed and a little jealous of seeing such a strong and loving family. That was what I wanted with my marriage, but I had little control.

As for introducing kids to someone new - there seems to be 2 schools of thoughts. Wait until you are sure before letting them know about someone new in your life or tell the truth so as to no lose their trust. After reading the dating for dads book, I tend to believe that letting my kids know that I am dating is best. I dont feel comfortable keeping it a secret that I am having a second life when I am not with them. G40 and I have discussed this and she wants to make sure that we do it right and not hurt my kids.

The attraction between G40 and myself is huge. A funny thing we laughed at recently is that the chinese astrology even has us matched as perfect for each other. We are keeping our hands off each other for now because I am still married, but I sense that wont last long once I am legally divorced. I really like the way we are taking it very slow right now. She is a really good woman and I like her a lot. She understands that it takes work to make a good marriage and keep the love alive. She has seen it with her parents who have been married for close to 50 years and I have seen it in my own parents and brother's successful second marriages.

At least W and I are both very concerned about S8 right now. She is going to talk today with a psychologist that has her daughter in the Chinese class. I would like to try and see if we can work as parents first to try and figure out what is troubling our son. He is going through a rough patch in his life now, but I am confident that we can help him get through it and be a happy go lucky little boy.

Hey Kerry,

I am glad things are going well with G40....good for you my friend. I guess your W senses something is up and like I have read here regularly is trying to get a little closer to you.
Hope your son returns to his happy go lucky attitude soon.

WOW!!! You do sound in love!! I am happy for you Kerry. Taking it slow is the best way to go, I agree...(that's why me & Woog decided we will wait till 2016, LOL!!).

Sorry for your little one. It sounds that both you and xW are looking after him and I am sure he will get over this "bump" soon.
xxx
K

Kerry..just wanted you to know..I learn something everytime I stop by your thread. You're a good man. I'm really happy that G40 is working out..I will continue to read along. I got Mars/Venus on a date by the way..have not started it yet.

Kerry,

Things are going well for you in the romance department in Oregon. Good for you, you devil.

As for your S8, I'm guessing it is a multitude of factors, one being the D that is coming fast. My D5 is having trouble w/ our D as well, so I'm not surprised w/ your S8. He will hit his rough spots through this, as will your D, but as long as your children have at least one steady source of influence and love, they'll come through just fine.

I worry about my D and I'm saddened to hear about your two as well (not to mention what Kalni's kids told her a few days ago). That is why I think divorce sucks when you have kids involved. I could have been in much better shape about my divorce if my D wasn't so adversely affected by the whole thing. That part breaks my heart every day.

Hang in there for them. There is no way you'll be anything like E.D. was w/ his kids as you are an excellent father and a very good man.

Karma is looking on your love life and it will also help you guide your kids through the rough spots of divorce.

RTL

I am mostly posting because I know that RefuseToLose (Rob) will be joining this forum soon and I want to be at the head of the list for his round of drinks. Rob, please make mine a Roy Rogers.

Nothing much other than I have had my lawyer send a counter offer to their counter offer. I updated the retirement and stock amounts and I imagine W will freak when she sees how much loss there has been in a month. I actually am having a pretty good chuckle at what the stock market has been doing.

S8 seems just fine when he was with me the last 2 nights. At the cub scout den meeting last night, they were talking about bully's and he told them about the kids at school. He also told me that the teacher (after I emailed her) had a discussion in class about teasing and differences between people. His and I biggest concern now is selling some cub scout christmas wreaths and figuring out how to grow rock cystals.

I am having G40 come over tomorrow for dinner and watch a movie at my home. No funny stuff is planned other than good company and conversation. We will proably do something on Saturday with the kids. I would like to go to the Oregon Coast Aquarium and the beach at Newport, but we have all kind of backup options depending on the weather. None of us have ever visited the Chinese Classical Garden in Portland, and if we did, we could eat Dim Sum which my kids really enjoy.

Quote:

I actually am having a pretty good chuckle at what the stock market has been doing.

Ya know Kerry..Mine has lost 30% over the last 2 months..Kim and her L looked like they had the air let out of their tires when I gave them the updated 401k amount the day of my mediation..ahhh the stock market..

It is what it is..

The LBS willing to care for the kids and live on bread and water for the next 15 years will prevail in the end regardless of the stock market or what's left after the WAW has destroyed your nest egg.

You got that right Fb2.

Just yesterday, G40 im'd this to me...

I believe, for the one who cheats in the first marriage, there choices thereof is never successful, but for the one who was cheated on, they will have a happy ending

Kerry,

Should I hold my breath and wait for my XW to send me a similar text?

It would be most refreshing as most of her texts simply say words directed at me that rhyme w/ "duck poo."

RTL

Originally Posted By: KerryK

You got that right Fb2.

Just yesterday, G40 im'd this to me...

I believe, for the one who cheats in the first marriage, there choices thereof is never successful, but for the one who was cheated on, they will have a happy ending

Kerry, is she trying to turn this around that she is somehow entitled to this choice of hers? That you are not, in fact, the LBS? Maybe I misunderstood her text, but that's BS, man. If she walked away (like I did) then she may want to consider owning up to her actions. JMHO. Peace. Goldey
p.s. Everytime I see this thread title, it cracks me up!

RTL and Goldeylox -

The quote in blue is from G40 (not my STBXW).

Goldey, did you find the alternate web site people yet? Also, do you live out my way? I seem to remember you mention Garden Home before. You probably are one of the few people on here that know of the mighty Gresham Gophers.

I got a very sincere handwritten 4 page letter from the STBXW yesterday. She has much praise of me and what was our marriage. She talked of her own nightmare that occured within herself that destroyed our marriage over a year ago. She was scared, confused and not strong enough to fix it. Apparently she has been talking with a counselor which I wish she would have done about a year ago.

The letters and big sentimental photo album of us which I created and gave her back back when I was in my begging and pleading mode means a lot to her and she still looks at them often.

I now have evidence in my situation that the DB principles can work, but that by the time the WAS comes to their senses or finds the grass is not greener, too much damage is done. My friends and family despise her. I have no feelings of love for her anymore. The divorce process has been agonizing and takes away the desire to risk a reconciliation.

I get the feeling she is going to be tormented in her mind for a long time for what she did to our beautiful family. She still will have to hear from the kids more and more of my new life. I have told the kids that it is probably best to not tell their mom too much as it will only cause her pain. I do feel sorry for her.

Strength and Honor

Oh.. Kerry,
This sucks. It really does. There isn't even the joy of being "right" anymore. It's a pitty, for your kids, for the pain you went through and even more for her. Why cant these people wake up when there is still enough time... It really is like a fog lifting for them, suddenly things fall into place. Too bad it is very late.
I am thinking of you
K

"The divorce process has been agonizing and takes away the desire to risk a reconciliation."

Kerry, This is an understatement in my own experience! She has not pleaded for a reconciliation however in all the time that's gone by. The remorse she shows is not convincing since she still lives with OM and is trying to milk you for alimony, etc.

Kerry,

That is so, well, I don't have a word for it. Sad, almost. She is giving you what you would have wanted not so many months ago, but so much has happened, it is seemingly insurmountable....I too think that in many cases the WAS will come to his/her senses and realize that there is a major mistake being made, but by then the LBS has been wounded and is trying to heal and may not be willing to risk the pain again.

Thoughts are with you. You knew all along you were doing the right thing, I think, and your W knows this now, too.

Hey Kerry..

It's good to read of your goings on. The caring you both show for your son is impressive and will no doubt turn the situation around as you use all options available. So many times kids are the canaries in the coal mine because of their sensitivity.

To play devil's advocate, does having G40 in your life lessen the need for your marriage to survive. Granted, women who leave, the fact your spouse is living with someone else all are grim prospects for reconciliation. I'm getting to the point where I see that he was the best husband he could be as I was the best wife within the context of our flaws and strengths.

G40 sounds like a very sound, stable and caring person.. beautiful.

*hugs*

*hugs*

Quote:

but that by the time the WAS comes to their senses or finds the grass is not greener, too much damage is done. My friends and family despise her. I have no feelings of love for her anymore. The divorce process has been agonizing and takes away the desire to risk a reconciliation.

I get the feeling she is going to be tormented in her mind for a long time for what she did to our beautiful family. She still will have to hear from the kids more and more of my new life. I have told the kids that it is probably best to not tell their mom too much as it will only cause her pain. I do feel sorry for her.

It's too bad for her Kerry. She will now live with the pain of what she has done. I do wonder what her sudden "light bulb" moment will do for her wants as far as the D process goes.

Hang in there.

Thanx to everyone for the comments. I dont know what to expect from STBXW over the next few months, but I will be Semper Paratus (always ready) for anything unexpected.

G40, her D4, my kids and myself had a great time pretty much hanging and playing at my house yesterday. Her D4 is full of a lot of energy and my kids enjoyed playing with her. My son blurted out "how embarrasing!" when we went out to eat last night when her D4 was running around the restaraunt after recharging on ice cream. From a few things I heard, I can tell that her D4 really desires to have a fatherly figure.

Kerry,

I too think that is very, very sad that she's waking up right now. Where was this earlier when it could have helped? So very sad.

I'm not sure when or if my XW will have her moment. It may never come, yet if it does, I don't know how it will impact me. I've moved forward and I think she sees this now - I'll explain on my thread in a bit.

SPM told me his sister still has regrets over her divorce and now feels she should have done more instead of filing for divorce. So, maybe they all will one day wake up and see what they've done.

We have grown and changed for the better and we can only hope in time our exes will do their part and discover how to become better from these experiences. I do want my XW to be as healthy as possible for my D and I know you want the same for your kids.

RTL

Checking in Kerry. Glad you enjoyed your weekend. I think that 90% of WAS' probably feel remorse and regret at some point. A number of those admit it to their spouses and apologize. A number of those realize it but think it is too late, and say nothing, suffer in silence and live with their decision. The rest I think also realize it but acknowledging it would be too painful or difficult so they push it away by rationalizing their actions. They can't even admit the truth to themselves....

So I guess in broad terms it is good your STBX realizes now the error of her ways. But it sounds as though it is too late for you, you are going forward in life.

Pretty weird BBJ - You and I posted to each others threads at the same time!

The STBXW has not asked to come back now in her letter. She says she thought about it a lot, but if she really wanted to, you would think she would try to convince me that she wanted to.

True, Kerry, I realize she hasnt asked to come back so it is hard to invest in what she says when she lives w/OM still. I just meant the fact that she even acknowledged her part in this at all, and that she regrets her actions and their impact on your life....

It was a nice letter (except for the bad grammer) and I am contemplating acknowleging and thanking her for it.

I still dont know whether I would accept a hug from her when the signing day happens. Right now, I have a hard time just looking at her without having some contempt. She now dresses very high class like and she either drives the $60G Caddilac SUV or the $90G BMW convertible of OM's. I wonder if she will ever get back to driving the $14G Hyundai hatchback that was the vehicle she got from our split.

Kerry,

Do you think the Hynudai is at the bottom of the Willamette at this point?

Just curious as if it is allowed to be in E.D.'s neighborhood it may lower property values.

RTL

Originally Posted By: KerryK

Right now, I have a hard time just looking at her without having some contempt. She now dresses very high class like and she either drives the $60G Caddilac SUV or the $90G BMW convertible of OM's. I wonder if she will ever get back to driving the $14G Hyundai hatchback that was the vehicle she got from our split.

She will find this to be a pretty hollow basis for living the rest of her life. I suspect she will go from being unhappy living a modest lifestyle with you, to unhappy living an extravagant lifestyle with ED. On the other hand, you can hold your head up high and move on happily.

Morning Kerry. How goes it??

Pretty funny there Rob. She does not need to sink it in the Willamete as there is always the Lake she lives on.

Must be nice. At least E.D. did well for himself financially so XW won't starve.

Talked with the kids and W this morning. They are now living in the new home which was an unfinished abandoned (foreclosed) home further out in the country. She says it is still not done but far enough along for her and the kids to live in. She also says it may be temporary and that she has tried to get an apartment for herself and the kids. She does not know what OM is doing with the existing lake shore posh home. I feel that this is all a ploy to negotiate on the spousal support - if her mouth moves, it most likely is a lie.