Postcards from the Island of Misfit Toys ...

[bttrfly]

whose. need that extra jolt of caffeine this am. had to carry the pup outside at 3am and stay up with him until 5 to make sure he was ok. i think his diabetes is really more of an issue than his cancer at this point. i'm changing how i feed him as an experiment. rather than two meals a day i'm switching to same amount of food but spaced out every 6 hours or so to try to level out his blood sugar.

anyone with vet experience please feel free to weigh in. i'd appreciate any suggestions.

he was fine after he had some food.

[bttrfly]

article on the front page of CNN talking about the rise in ethical non-monogamous relationships.

thoughts, people in DB land?

seems like a recipe for disaster, setting the stage for one person to pretzel while the other cake eats, or am I being too provincial?

[Ginger1]

article on the front page of CNN talking about the rise in ethical non-monogamous relationships.

thoughts, people in DB land?

seems like a recipe for disaster, setting the stage for one person to pretzel while the other cake eats, or am I being too provincial?

I used to judge, but I judge no longer. If both parties are truly comfortable with it, all the more power to them

[bttrfly]

article on the front page of CNN talking about the rise in ethical non-monogamous relationships.

thoughts, people in DB land?

seems like a recipe for disaster, setting the stage for one person to pretzel while the other cake eats, or am I being too provincial?

I used to judge, but I judge no longer. If both parties are truly comfortable with it, all the more power to them

I understand the point is how many say they're ok with it but really aren't? that's the $64,000 question.

[Ginger1]

article on the front page of CNN talking about the rise in ethical non-monogamous relationships.

thoughts, people in DB land?

seems like a recipe for disaster, setting the stage for one person to pretzel while the other cake eats, or am I being too provincial?

I used to judge, but I judge no longer. If both parties are truly comfortable with it, all the more power to them

I understand the point is how many say they're ok with it but really aren't? that's the $64,000 question.

Like for any relationship to work, it takes trust, communication, and openness.

[kml]

I share bttrfly’s concern that, more often than not, one partner is going along with it in a desperate attempt to pretzel themselves and salvage the relationship. Otherwise I have no problem with it, although why not just stay single and non- monogamous then?

[bttrfly]

G, I totally get what you're saying and I even agree with it, in theory. I wouldn't consider it but who am I to tell someone how to live their life or negotiate their marriage.

although why not just stay single and non- monogamous then?

I completely agree with this ^^^ K. Some dating apps are offering it as an option in the section where people say what they're looking for in a relationship.

It's now on CNNs home page. The CNN article focused on couples who were dissatisfied in their marriages for a number of reasons - sexual incompatibility, boredom, lack of the excitement that comes with a new relationship ... in short, so many of the reasons we read in Newcomers and MLC when newbies first land here. What we call The Script.

I know someone whose spouse floated the idea, my friend went along with it because they were scared not to ... within two years they were separated, heading for divorce. The article didn't go into any research about how often that happens.

I would still like to see a follow up with honest stats showing how many of these couples are still together and happy versus divorced, or separated in 6, 12, or 18 months.

[BL42]

article on the front page of CNN talking about the rise in ethical non-monogamous relationships.

thoughts, people in DB land?

seems like a recipe for disaster, setting the stage for one person to pretzel while the other cake eats, or am I being too provincial?

I'm skeptical it works long-term. Seems eventually one of them will get jealous and it unravels.

[bttrfly]

I agree.

[DonH]

Can a monogamous couple happily become nonmonogamous? It’s possible but not easy, experts say.

Among the things that strike me and seem to be a part of our crazy world is “experts say”. Just who are these “experts”? The same experts who told us millions would die from Covid in the first months? The same experts who can’t accurately predict a snow storm 5 days away but try to to tell us what the temperature of the earths surface will be in 10 years? The same experts who told us it was a 97% certainty Hillary would beat Trump? Todays media is all full of experts and unnamed sources. Our mainstream media can’t even spell or use proper grammar but we still want to believe what they write.

As for the topic, how is this different than the open marriages of years past? There’s quite a bit of research on how well that all worked out. Fixing the problems between 2 people rarely happen by adding a third or one of the two turning away from their partner towards another person.