Very good read with lots of informative information.
Wondering how do you set them free with 3 kids one being a newborn. I was an emotional wreck 7 months of my pregnancy. He wasn't there and I was a basket case. I never saw this side of him. He wants to be free. I don't contact him at all. Baby will be two weeks tomorrow and I've had no help. When he does text I respond with one word.
^^ very good question. From what I understand, you are meant to see them free because why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? And because if you truly love someone you set them free so they can be happy. But I think this theory is hard to apply when the responsibilities of parenting need to take priority over any one person's individual quest for "happiness". Having said that, you cannot force someone to be a good parent, nor be a parent full stop, which is advice already given here.... That's why situations involving kids are just twice as difficult..and newborns, well don't get me started!
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Very good read with lots of informative information.
Wondering how do you set them free with 3 kids one being a newborn. I was an emotional wreck 7 months of my pregnancy. He wasn't there and I was a basket case. I never saw this side of him. He wants to be free. I don't contact him at all. Baby will be two weeks tomorrow and I've had no help. When he does text I respond with one word.
Blessed I wouldn't even know how to respond to your question. I couldn't even imagine how a man would walk away from his pregnant wife and 3 kids. My W is walking away and we have a 4 and 7 year old...all about how SHE 'feels'.
I am speechless in regards to your situation. I couldn't even imagine.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
It is all about them isn't it? When I was talking to my WAW everything was how she felt, what about the way you are making me and the kids feel, guess that wasn't nearly as important.
After another late night of reading, it seemed to just settle over me this morning while I was driving. I kept telling myself I should let her go and today I "felt" I am ready to. Do I still love her, yes, more than anything, do I want her back, I can't really say right now. I don't know how I could forgive someone willingly hurting the person they are supposed to love the way she has been and not care about how it impacts the family.
It is all about them isn't it? When I was talking to my WAW everything was how she felt, what about the way you are making me and the kids feel, guess that wasn't nearly as important.
After another late night of reading, it seemed to just settle over me this morning while I was driving. I kept telling myself I should let her go and today I "felt" I am ready to. Do I still love her, yes, more than anything, do I want her back, I can't really say right now. I don't know how I could forgive someone willingly hurting the person they are supposed to love the way she has been and not care about how it impacts the family.
Yes you're right, with regards to your WAW, everything is about how she feels, she is a feeling person, she is in love with those feelings, she's guided by those feelings, you're against her and her feelings so she's against you.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm saying that's just how it is.
Arguing with your WAW and telling her "what about me? what about the kids?" just comes off as weak and needy and boy that always works to bring back a wayward spouse ;-)
Let her go, she wants out of the relationship so badly, agree with her, show her the door, don't be a prick or an a$$hole but you've had your "awakening" too, you feel differently now as well, you're not sure how you feel about her and maybe this is the best thing for you too, you can now find someone who values you and the relationship they can have with you, it's her loss, not yours.
Got to stamp your post to my forehead, robx! I wish I hadn't done so much arguing and pleading (during my pregancy and post birth of our baby..7 months of pathetic neediness). Is there any way to 'undo' all that??
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
yeah, kick his butt to the curb, and live a great life for you and your kids, find someone better to replace him and then when he comes crawling back to you, tell him "I'm not sure how I feel about you anymore, maybe you can wait around for me 6-12 months while I make up my mind about you & me and compare you to other people and if I remember, I'll let you know"
;-)
yes that would be mean but I think it would "undo" all of that begging & pleading but that's just my 0.02 cents on this, I'd love gooch himself to chime in on his own thread and respond to you, he's the king around here.
p.s. I'm not going to get overly personal & emotional on this topic, I'm just going to say I'm not a fan of any man who can get his wife pregnant and then leave her right after the kid is born, I have no respect for any guy who can do that and I have a list of colorful words to describe a guy who does that to his wife. Just my 0.02 cents on this subject.
