Mach, if you don’t understand her message, why don’t you ask her the direct and clear question? Is that not your responsibility if you feel as if you are getting mixed signal ?
“Just to clarify, friendship is all your are interested in pursuing ?”
Mach, if you don’t understand her message, why don’t you ask her the direct and clear question? Is that not your responsibility if you feel as if you are getting mixed signal ?
“Just to clarify, friendship is all your are interested in pursuing ?”
Ask the hard question, Mach
Thnx Ginger. I will be asking her that face to face, as it will show how she responds...
I need to be frank when I get back and just ask straight up, friends? Or am I something you want to keep around for future use? Being funny with that last one.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Mach, if you don’t understand her message, why don’t you ask her the direct and clear question? Is that not your responsibility if you feel as if you are getting mixed signal ?
“Just to clarify, friendship is all your are interested in pursuing ?”
Ask the hard question, Mach
Thnx Ginger. I will be asking her that face to face, as it will show how she responds...
I disagree. Don't explicitly ask. Her actions and words have already communicated her interest (as friends). No need to "have a conversation" about it when you get back. When did talking it out and getting clarification ever work? Instead, start acting accordingly. If you give her space and get interested in other things and people she might just rethink what she wants and come back to you. Sounds a lot like DBing, no?
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
I was just sticking to him feeling she needs to say exactly what she means. It’s not on her if you didn’t understand. I thought she sounded clear. But if you want a yes or no answer, you need to ask the yes or no questions.
Quite personally, Mach, it’s pretty simple. She’s a woman recently out of 2 physically abusive relationships. What are you expecting from her ?
I was just sticking to him feeling she needs to say exactly what she means. It’s not on her if you didn’t understand. I thought she sounded clear. But if you want a yes or no answer, you need to ask the yes or no questions.
Quite personally, Mach, it’s pretty simple. She’s a woman recently out of 2 physically abusive relationships. What are you expecting from her ?
Thats a good question. I was expecting her to see something different, and want to be more than friends. I really thought we hit it off initially. I always wonder what a woman wants. I think many women will say what others want to hear, as they may be afraid to say what they really want, which can be against the norm.. But I digress. See the show 1923 when Alexandria runs off with Spencer? It was not what everyone, in her society of people, expected. She decided to live for herself.. It was epic.
I need to be frank when I get back and just ask straight up, friends? Or am I something you want to keep around for future use? Being funny with that last one.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Mach, if you don’t understand her message, why don’t you ask her the direct and clear question? Is that not your responsibility if you feel as if you are getting mixed signal ?
“Just to clarify, friendship is all your are interested in pursuing ?”
Ask the hard question, Mach
Thnx Ginger. I will be asking her that face to face, as it will show how she responds...
I disagree. Don't explicitly ask. Her actions and words have already communicated her interest (as friends). No need to "have a conversation" about it when you get back. When did talking it out and getting clarification ever work? Instead, start acting accordingly. If you give her space and get interested in other things and people she might just rethink what she wants and come back to you. Sounds a lot like DBing, no?
Dont pursue, let her come after you, if she sees she let something go. DBing.. Yep. Sounds like patience in poker... Dont show your cards, and be patient.
Moving on, taking everyones advice. So, here I am in a foreign country, Florida, lol. I meet a woman. Super nice, but after 2 weeks, I find out she is separated, for a little over 2 years now. WTH. At our age, i get it, many are married, separated etc and may be looking, may not be looking. But, what am I doing to attract everyone who are Not ready. Funny thing too, they all, the last few women I can remember is with a minimum Masters degree. Do I need to just put a sign on my head, looking for unattached single females ready to date, lol.
What kind of separated is she? Did they decide on legal separation instead of divorce? (Sometimes people have religious or financial reasons for doing so.) Is she in the process of divorcing but it is just taking a while? (My fairly simple and fairly non-adversarial divorce still took almost a year and a half because WASs hate paperwork and need time to come to accept financial realities).
I'd say it matters a whole lot if the answer is A or B.
She is getting divorced, and was filed legally through the state, end of last year, after being separated for 2 years. One year longer than required for state. State said 12 to 14 months for final divorce from Judge, due to financial issues, assets etc run to ground, needing looked at. Some states are crazy long, compared to mine.. Mine was simple, uncontested, no kids to deal with support etc.
