Blindsided 2 - 04/26/24 05:01 AM
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2948947#Post2948947
Ive been struggling with depression today. i keep going back to the night before my wife said she was divorcing me. we had an argument about christmas cards, every year we give each other christmas cards. she knew that I had already filled out my card and we both usually write a personal letter inside the card. she hadn't filled hers out and i asked her about it since it was 2 days after christmas and she started complaining about giving each other christmas cards that it was unnecessary. she then said she wasnt going to fill out my card because it wouldnt be a good card in her current mood and said she needed to be alone and stormed off upstairs. Im very intuitive and i felt something was off for 2 months so i followed her upstairs.
i need to note that i suffer from panic disorder and my anxiety was off the charts because of her behavior for the past 2 months. I needed answers because i couldnt take the lack of communication from her. I asked her if we were ok and she said yes, clearly a lie.
I know it doesnt matter now because its the past but i wonder where would i be at right now if we dint have that argument. more then likely right where im at now only at a later date. I keep putting the blame on myself even though i know it shouldn't be.
I feel like im living in a hotel room in my new apartment. it doesnt feel like home. I know its going to take time. I feel like a alcoholic trying not to drink with a bottle of whisky in front of me. my wife being the whisky. I keep wanting to talk to her and wonder what shes doing when the kids arent there. Im not going to call her and im trying not to think about her.
Ive been struggling with depression today. i keep going back to the night before my wife said she was divorcing me. we had an argument about christmas cards, every year we give each other christmas cards. she knew that I had already filled out my card and we both usually write a personal letter inside the card. she hadn't filled hers out and i asked her about it since it was 2 days after christmas and she started complaining about giving each other christmas cards that it was unnecessary. she then said she wasnt going to fill out my card because it wouldnt be a good card in her current mood and said she needed to be alone and stormed off upstairs. Im very intuitive and i felt something was off for 2 months so i followed her upstairs.
i need to note that i suffer from panic disorder and my anxiety was off the charts because of her behavior for the past 2 months. I needed answers because i couldnt take the lack of communication from her. I asked her if we were ok and she said yes, clearly a lie.
I know it doesnt matter now because its the past but i wonder where would i be at right now if we dint have that argument. more then likely right where im at now only at a later date. I keep putting the blame on myself even though i know it shouldn't be.
I feel like im living in a hotel room in my new apartment. it doesnt feel like home. I know its going to take time. I feel like a alcoholic trying not to drink with a bottle of whisky in front of me. my wife being the whisky. I keep wanting to talk to her and wonder what shes doing when the kids arent there. Im not going to call her and im trying not to think about her.