I can't really add much to what others have advised, but I wanted to chime in just to let you know that I get what you are going through. My story is not exactly like yours, but there are MANY similarities, right down to the rapid switching of affair partners, the suspicion that I am involved with someone else, etc. (She was on her second AP within a couple of months after ending with the first, as best as I can reckon).
Your W's behavior follows a classic pattern that I have read on this and other forums, in case after case. You seem to understand what you need to do for yourself, but also that quite a bit of this is about her, not you, and that you cannot control that.
There's a saying that gets thrown around a lot here. Perhaps you've heard it. "You didn't break her, therefore you cannot fix her."
I am ten months out from BD (in my case, she wanted the divorce, not me), and I understand how you feel. But I can tell you that things do get easier with the passage of time. I am unquestionably in a better place now than I was ten months ago, even five months ago. Every time I am tempted to wallow in the past, I turn my mind toward something I enjoy: a hobby, movies, music, whatever, or I go out. It works!
It sounds like you are doing well with moving your life in a new direction, a better direction. I hear what you are saying about health and fitness. You are ahead of me in that regard, but I am trying to do better for myself, and I have seen changes. I like looking down and seeing a smaller stomach than I've had since my 20s! A few days ago my sister commented on how good I looked.
Keep forging ahead. It's all about YOU and your happiness at this point. Do not worry about whether she ultimately "gets it" or not, or what she is going through. That's not your problem.
