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Over the weekend my brother asked if there was anything W could do that would change my mind. I had called him because she was out drinking again (I'll spare you all the details of another story that sounds just like the other ones). I told him there wasn't anything she could say or do because the trust was gone, and I was tired of being taken for granted. In that moment I felt the clarity I had been searching for. I wasn't angry or hurt, I was relieved.
I think you've been more than fair with her.
You've recognized your own behaviors that may have contributed to problems in your marriage.
Unlike many, she cannot possibly feel blindsided by your decision. You have told her repeatedly what she has done wrong and what needed to stop. She has not shown any indication of working on her problems or getting whatever help she needs.
Maybe this course of action will wake her up, if not to save her marriage at least to correct her course for her own future.
I think many reading here will support you. I hope you view this as the beginning of getting the life you deserve, because you deserve better than her.
