One day at a time. One hour at a time. Heck, sometimes it will be one minute at a time. Lord knows I endured the minutes languishing in their passing.
It depends on the person as to what works best. Well, in actuality it is “when” works best. At times physical activity can be very helpful, and other times sitting and thinking is needed, and yet other times we just cry.
Generally, to work through our anger, physical activity works well. Sweat it out! Go for a run, do some yard work, let loose on a punching bag, etc.
Anger is perfectly normal. You have experienced a loss and will progress through the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are not linear, and do not have well defined delimitation between them. We can, and will, move back and forth between various stages, especially as new things are revealed.
That is a critical understanding. Denial is one’s psyche’s protective mechanism from such a hurt that it would severally overload or damage us. Our mind simply puts it off, ignores it, denies it, until we heal enough to be able to process that loss/hurt.
In a situation there are many many items and losses, and only a few at a time are revealed. As the days, weeks, and months progress more and more things will come to the surface, will come out of the fog of denial, and you will be angry, and barging, and be depressed, and accept each and every one of these. By the way, as you experience more and more of these you become better and better at working through it. And the best way through the bog is to keep moving forward through all the brambles. It is a heck of a slog. However, when you look back it is quite amazing what you will have learnt and the hard earned wisdom gain.
You can only control you. Your thought, actions, and reactions. These three things can and do influence your emotions, beliefs, and such. You cannot directly control your feelings, but you can influence them; help guide them and yourself to resolution and peace.
A good run or some such will help take your mind’s focus off of things. This is your conscience and controlled focus I’m talking about. Your subconscious mind will still be working away on various things; like it always does. And eventually answers will come, and you cannot greatly speed that process up. It just takes time.
Thoughts are the other area of direct control. They have an incredible influence upon ourselves. Work to limit the number of cheese-less tunnels you go down. We all need to follow some rabbit holes, so don’t worry about a few odd detours.
Everyone requires a certain amount of understanding before they can let go. You are doing perfectly fine my friend. Even though it feels very much out of control. (((Hug)))
