Honestly? Based on your updates it sounds like you're crushing it right now.
That's some extreme GAL'ing...surfing, hockey, tennis, working out, pub nights, salsa lessons, museums, library, learning to cook more delicious meals with nutritional value church good friendships....etc. Fantastic. Are you sure you have time for it all??? Usually we have to encourage LBSs here to get off the couch...we may need to warn you not to wear yourself down. LOL. That's great though - the more active you are with interesting activities and having fun with other people the better. Way to enjoy life.
You're taking care of yourself by working out, eating healthy, going to therapy....etc.
You seem to be giving W time and space and not pressuring with R talk. The interactions you describe with concerns/issues/distress, medical/health, and work stress all seem good. Continue to listen & empathize not "fix".
Originally Posted by Rockon
Also we are working together on co parenting (some complexities with children with significant disabilities
I didn't realize your children have disabilities. That is a extra area of stress in a married couple, that seems to lead to a more common sitch here.
Originally Posted by Rockon
She is starting to discuss future married plans together (she is initiating this: vacation ideas, work, education, church, leisure, dreams together - I am being cautious and cool on this and maintaining my firm boundary without a need to restate it (I have made myself clear) that cheating and infidelity is a no go for rebuilding and reconciling our marriage.
My $0.02 is to be happy and easy going about it, but non-committal. When she suggest a future vacation..."Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun. I'll have to think about that." Be positive and encouraging, but don't commit to anything...and most importantly don't let it raise your expectations and therefore lead to disappointment down the road...detachment.
Originally Posted by Rockon
She did voice some suicidal ideation to me and I took her seriously and asked if she was thinking about ending her life. She clarified that she was so completely overwhelmed and distressed but not actually going there nevertheless I gave her a 24/7 Crisis line and also let one of her friends know that I am worried about her stress level.
Suicide is very serious. The fact she even mentioned it could be a cry for help. I'm no expert, but think you did the right thing to give her the crisis line info and hopefully her IC is helping.
