I don't know what I said that you considered was breaking the boards rules. I didn't use any bad language, and I didn't think I was being rude.
I think I would prefer to have my entire post deleted rather than somebody rewrite it. Your message was to me,but it appears that is what I was saying to Patience.
I am trying hard to abide by what MWD teaches, but I'll have to say that I was shocked at you rewriting my post. The board has lost some long time vets and I wanted to continue here b/c of what DB did for my M. At the least, tell us what we do wrong when our post is rearranged.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well, I realize we only have your side of the story, but to be truthful, your W sounds very "spoiled". EDITED - This forum exists to help those who come looking for encouragement and support during a difficult time in their lives. Your ideas and suggestions are welcome. However, you must treat everyone with respect, refraining from rudeness -even if or when you may not agree with what they are saying or doing in their lives. You must comply with the DivorceBusting.com Board Rules if you would like to continue the privilege of posting here.
I sorry,but must be blunt...WTF is this about? Censorship? What has Sandi done to have a post edited? Is it that she spoke the truth or used a 2x4 to get her point across? She has helped so many, including me.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
I agree with sandi. AND the first thing she does when she meets some on here is to tell them to by Michelle's book. You're shooting yourselves in the foot unless you'd like to answer all the questions on the forum yourselves.
If you don't start giving reasons why what was posted is offensive, we're not going to learn anything are we?
All you need to do is just tell us.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I am curious what Sandi has to say.. even though I new to this, I found her response to me encouraging. Here is lastest in my situation:
Any good prayers for reconciliation, strength, courage, and patience would be great!!
I am in a pretty known band in Los Angeles, and she came to our show the other night, even though there was nothing mentioned of relationship, or divorce for that matter (Praise God), it was nice to be together.. I just wanted to hug her, but kept it cool. She now been keeping in touch via text with me, and we may go see a movie together this week.. I am trying not to make myself to available, but those were some of issues in the past. She felt as if she wasn't put first in my priorities. So would like some advise here.
I thank you for chiming in.. She was M before. It was an abusive relationship. She has been in other R, and dated before her and I. She has new friends, which she calls "her new friends", as far as do the act single or ther R status i don' know. As far as me I have friends that are M and single, but all are respectful to thier spouses, and to me. Here is an update which I posted earlier: any advise here would be nice.. I had a session with Dottie the other day and used what she had told me. It seemed to be affective. Again I need to do these changes for myself, but I also have the goal to be with my wife. I am having a hrd time making small goals, and help is much appreciated: Update below:
I am in a pretty known band in Los Angeles, and she came to our show the other night, even though there was nothing mentioned of relationship, or divorce for that matter (Praise God), it was nice to be together.. I just wanted to hug her, but kept it cool. She now been keeping in touch via text with me, and we may go see a movie together this week.. I am trying not to make myself to available, but those were some of issues in the past. She felt as if she wasn't put first in my priorities. So would like some advise here.
I had a session with Dottie the other day and used what she had told me. It seemed to be affective.
Just remember, for certain things to turn around it may take weeks or months to see the results. All depends on exactly what those changes you wish to see are. Lack of patience is a big one when it comes to this.
Please also keep in mind that it is pretty common for the WAS to be all over the place emotionally. Nice one day, then the switch gets flipped back to cold and distant the next. It is EXTREMELY important for you to keep an even keel and be as consistant as you possibly can.
Quote:
I am trying not to make myself to available, but those were some of issues in the past. She felt as if she wasn't put first in my priorities. So would like some advise here.
I see your dilemma not wanting to come off as pursuing BUT if that is one of her complaints....
What do you think about what she said? How valid is it?
To be honest, I don't know enough about you, her, or your past to tell you exactly what to do.
I'm not sure by who or how the movie date was brought up, but it may be wise to let her initiate that one and see what happens.
This takes time, it's natural to want to push things.
What have you noticed so far? You backed away and she seemed to come a little closer? Well....
As far as the movie get together, I don't want to call it a date. She kind of initiated it, by texting me that this film is playing at a certain theater. being attentive, i asked her what times and dates, so she checked right away and then texted them to me, I responded with a "wanna go?", she said sure. I was giving a guitar lesson, so told her can't talk now, but will text when finished, she then asked about my son, who she is close with. It was nice.. So a little back story here, we have two dogs, which are at the house with me, she is in an apt which is to small, but she always comes over to see the dogs, at least once to three times a week. She let's me know by texting " I am on my way to see the pups".. again am I being to nice? I like being nice. I just don't want to be a door mat. Or is she getting her cake and eating too?
Thanks Trapt, and anyone else chiming in here. I really can't say enough thanks!!
Also it's weird for me to call myself this user name "Patience".. Is it best to keep doing this or can I at least use my first name?
